[BlueJeans00]

Maybe someone can shed a bit of light.
I don't understand why Im getting really upset by what my mother or sister says.
For example my sister was bad mouthing our family friend. I said her father left and died when she was young,she has wounds that need to be healed.
Then my mum said "well if her father stay healthy and didn't die" when she said that I was shocked, because my friend in her family, on her father's side. There is this gene on the male side where male has heart attack at age of 40 or 50.
I said thats horrible and then my mum said "I'm joking" but I know she says that for an excuse. Everything is a joke to her. Then my sister said "have you not heard the word sarcasm" they told me Im over sensitive and that you are going to get people who are mean at work or nice. Im thinking how does this relate to mum's behaviour?
My sister try to talk over me.and then mum told me.to shut up
Then my sister spoke. I ended up going into my room and crying.

Its ever since when my T told me that Im treated as a escape goat. I been called yeps of names by my mother "b**ch, difficult child, annoying child,pig selfish."

You would get upset about something she said and you go off and you come back and she acts as if none thing had happened. My father who left.my mum when I was seven has experienced this. Once he told me, he went for a 14km walk because he was upset by her. He comes back and she acts as if none thing had happened. There has been one case where she held a knife to her chest and threat to kill herself in front of me and my sister. I had it where she was yelling in the house saying to herself "you don't have a life anymore"
She acts normal if you meet her face to face. You wouldn't expect a thing. But once you get to know her you think other wise.

What I want to know is, why I get so upset and end up crying that I have to ring my partner up. Or to the point I may harm myself.

I am going to therapy once a week and my T asked me if he ought to be more worried about me and harming myself.
Meaning hospitalised. I said to him that well my partner comes over everyday because he is worried. He said he is concerned that one day he come.and I be dead. My T told me now that is concerning. He told me to get the number of.crisis team when I feel that way. Because he only available once a week because he is busy and have other clients. Also he is student finishing off there Masters.
My family see me over sensitive emotional but my T and my partner say no. My T said everyone has different levels of sensitivity,there no such thing as being over sensitive.
Its werid because my mum needs help clearly and refuses. She rather read self help books which haven't helped.for YEARS! My sister is on prozac an antidepressants given by her gp doctor. She refuses to go to therapy. What so frustrating is that they tell me Im the one with the problem. When really they are the ones not dealing with there issues. As where I am dealing with my issues.

Im emotional punching bag to my mum.

Help

[Argonautomobile]

That sounds dreadful, Blue Jeans. I'm sorry you're in this situation. Unfortunately, you just can't change other people. I hope you find a way to put some distance between yourself and those who want to punch you. Stay safe.

[stopdog]

Is there a way you could stop living with them?

[leejosepho]

I agree with Argonautomobile. I left home and joined the Navy at age 18 to get away from my own dysfunctional family, then ultimately told my parents I would no longer tolerate any of their abuse whatsoever. I never tried to tell them what was wrong with them and I never tried to change them, I just let them know I would immediately turn and walk away or hang up the phone the very next time either of them began speaking or displaying even the very slightest criticism or personal attack...and then I did precisely that. I also did essentially the same with certain siblings by letting them know they were completely free to say or to do anything they please, but that I would never again ever let them get any of their spew on me. In my own case, it really did not take very long at all for all of those family members to realize I was non-compromising on the matter, and today the ones who are still living either stay away from me completely or now treat me with mutual respect and civility.

Your present circumstances might make it difficult to place physical distance between yourself and the aggressors, but finding some way to do so without moving into another unhealthy situation will definitely be worth the effort.

[BlueJeans00]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Is there a way you could stop living with them?

Yes, there is.
Where I live, the government supports people who either unemployed or unwell to work.
Till your well to work or got a job.
Im thinking to study because I always wanted too.
So the government would support people who study and who live out of home. I thought that be my best beat.
Im just scared to move out and I don't really know why.