[Bonjour Tristesse]

I started therapy a month and a half ago and my T keeps asking me this question. I don't have the foggiest idea on how to answer. Has this ever happened to any of you?

Today T asked me if I wanted to talk about anything in particular and that we should talk about something different to what we had been talking about, I answered no and T laughed. T said we would just chill a little. Ha! I tried to look away while T "stares". I just feel like hiding when T does that and I tend to dissociate a bit. Well T kept moving and trying to be on my visual range so I couldn't tune T out and ended up saying that talking was easier.

Before wrapping up, T said "last chance". I have been pretty open with T, I'm just not sure what else to say and I hate the "stare".

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by Bonjour Tristesse

I started therapy a month and a half ago and my T keeps asking me this question. I don't have the foggiest idea on how to answer. Has this ever happened to any of you?

Today T asked me if I wanted to talk about anything in particular and that we should talk about something different to what we had been talking about, I answered no and T laughed. T said we would just chill a little. Ha! I tried to look away while T "stares". I just feel like hiding when T does that and I tend to dissociate a bit. Well T kept moving and trying to be on my visual range so I couldn't tune T out and ended up saying that talking was easier.

Before wrapping up, T said "last chance". I have been pretty open with T, I'm just not sure what else to say and I hate the "stare".

Why did you start going to therapy?

[Bonjour Tristesse]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

Why did you start going to therapy?

I got major health problems which led to high-risk sui ideation and not being able to function.

[Bonjour Tristesse]

Originally Posted by Bonjour Tristesse

I got major health problems which led to high-risk sui ideation and not being able to function.

There is also csa and ptsd.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by Bonjour Tristesse

I got major health problems which led to high-risk sui ideation and not being able to function.

What goals can you form that are related to that?

[Bonjour Tristesse]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

What goals can you form that are related to that?

Geez, I really don't know. Sometimes I want to be alive and for things to be ok, others I just want my life to be over. I've been very suicidal.

The only thing I can think of is trying to be more functional, at least when it comes to diet and work. In terms of the way I feel, I just don't see that changing for a very long time and I just don't want that to change as a goal because I feel that apathetic about life lately.

My T said not to talk about how bad I feel or the financial difficulties of not being able to work, but about what is causing this, which I don't know what it is. I have told T a lot, I have been really open, but I just feel there is no much left to say.

[Freewilled]

I'm purely speculating here, but is it possible that your T could be referring to transference-type stuff? Do you ever talk about the therapy relationship?

[lightcatcher]

I've been seeing T for 6 months and they keep asking that question. They also do the 'stare' thing too, and I do what you do haha. I have basically said that I just want to feel. And when I've got sick of T staring I ask what? In a snotty teenage way haha. Someone told me to tell T I don't like the silent stare and they might stop, told them, they do it more. Probably is good for me?
Just stick it out and try thinking what you want even if it is as vague as mine :-).

[Elektra_]

the question she does is where do we go from here?? if so probb she wants u to tell her what are ur goals for therapy. but then u say she asks if u want to talk about something different? this seems like she thinks ur not telling everything... the only way to go is asking her why she keps acting this way. tc

[Bonjour Tristesse]

Originally Posted by Freewilled

I'm purely speculating here, but is it possible that your T could be referring to transference-type stuff? Do you ever talk about the therapy relationship?

I just feel pretty clueless. It's always like where do we go from here? it's up to you... One time, T changed the question to what do you need? But I answered I preferred the first question better.

About transferrence, T mentioned once about wondering if T could help me because I have too many stressors going on and therapy could only go so far. I have mentioned about instances where I was by myself and I have remembered something T had told me. T really smiled when I said that. There's a lot of trying to build rapport, laughter etc. on T's part. I just hate the "staring" part. Sometimes T does it with an endearing, softer look and I"m ok, but when I feel it is more "blank" and I might annoy T or maybe feels what a train wreck or looser I might be, I just can't face T.

Just not sure what to think or answer. I am dreading the question again next week, and I see T twice a week. If it was about transference, what on earth would I even say?

[Bonjour Tristesse]

Originally Posted by lightcatcher

I've been seeing T for 6 months and they keep asking that question. They also do the 'stare' thing too, and I do what you do haha. I have basically said that I just want to feel. And when I've got sick of T staring I ask what? In a snotty teenage way haha. Someone told me to tell T I don't like the silent stare and they might stop, told them, they do it more. Probably is good for me?
Just stick it out and try thinking what you want even if it is as vague as mine :-).

haha. Ouch, does it more?... I better not say anything then. T is the one always asking me what? because I start giggling out of nerves! Last session T seemed annoyed or something because T probably can not figure out why I smile then look their way when I can not tune T out anymore. T could "stare" the whole hour non-stop. I'm the one that "breaks down" even though I mean not to look at T or talk.

[Freewilled]

Originally Posted by Bonjour Tristesse

I just feel pretty clueless. It's always like where do we go from here? it's up to you... One time, T changed the question to what do you need? But I answered I preferred the first question better.

About transferrence, T mentioned once about wondering if T could help me because I have too many stressors going on and therapy could only go so far. I have mentioned about instances where I was by myself and I have remembered something T had told me. T really smiled when I said that. There's a lot of trying to build rapport, laughter etc. on T's part. I just hate the "staring" part. Sometimes T does it with an endearing, softer look and I"m ok, but when I feel it is more "blank" and I might annoy T or maybe feels what a train wreck or looser I might be, I just can't face T.

Just not sure what to think or answer. I am dreading the question again next week, and I see T twice a week. If it was about transference, what on earth would I even say?

I talk about our "relationship" a lot because it seems central to my issues. He's become a representation of my parents and pretty much all my relational issues stem from them so.....at least, psychoanalytic theory says that one

I tell him how uncomfortable I find it to be there. I tell him how much I want to cancel. I have told him my fears that he is annoyed with me, I'm wasting his time, he wishes he didn't have to see me today, etc. etc. I tell him that I'm feeling scared.....it is hard because I don't know exactly what I "need" (he asks me that or tells me he wants to give me what I need quite often) so I think I'm only part way there. I am lost a little but I think that I'm on the best track for me.

You could start by saying something about the staring. You don't have to tell her to quit it, but you could say something like, "I've been thinking about this therapy thing, and I find it really uncomfortable. You know all the staring and whatnot. Isn't there another way?" Lol - I could see myself saying that one.

It is really hard but if you let your T know how you feel about all this (the questions she asks themselves even) it might help.