[SoupDragon]

For a few weeks on and off, l have feIt like l want to have a fight with my T. Not physical punching, but a huge shouting match, with him shouting too.

Has anyone else ever felt this?

[tooski]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

For a few weeks on and off, l have feIt like l want to have a fight with my T. Not physical punching, but a huge shouting match, with him shouting too.

Has anyone else ever felt this?

Oh yes! When this feeling hit me (for a couple of weeks), I not only wanted to fight with T but I wanted it to be physical too. Not actually in real life, but the emotion was that I just wanted to slug it out with him. I told him, and I don't remember what the outcome was, but of course we did not fight physically. But the urge was really strong in me. I don't know what it all meant, but just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one. I guess it's just part of the process .... but IDK.

I have fought with T. It was a situation with a lot of complexities, but in hindsight I think in a way part of me 'needed' to see that she was emotionally invested.

What comes to mind also is how sometimes young children play up to get their parents attention, because it's the only way they can feel 'heard'? Sometimes negative attention can feel better than none at all.. (This wasn't consciously what I was doing, but I recognised something of it afterward...)

[Syra]

I hadn't thought about it before, but when I read you post I thought "What a great idea!!"

I have a 12 year old alter who frequently fights with T. They are really good at fighting with each other. They have vey different opinions on things. But at the same time they are very attached to each other and very close. They always make up. T says they fight a lot because they mean so much to each other and feel safe with each other. The 12 year old never felt safe with anyone before and has so many things to work through. I think its really good that she feels safe enough to argue and fight so much.

[ECHOES]

I have. Mostly I worried that I would become angry and ...then what ? But I did talk to my T about it and that helped.

It could be a worry or a combination of things. It could be a strong desire for your T to be more directive and to tell you *exactly* what to do, how to be. Or it might be an uneasiness about boundaries and a wish to clarify.

I think it's always good to talk to your therapist about things like this.

[someone321]

I was "fighting" with my xT a lot (not physically of course; however, sometimes I wish I could have punched him ). I thought that after a fight I would feel much better but every time it was worse (I have always given up because he was so mad that it couldn't have ended well if I had continued disagreeing with him).

I have been feeling like this lately too, it's a new and scary feeling as I am usually passive and would never fight with t. I don't know if it's something I feel about her or something she said but I don't want to go back and if I do we will fight , grrrr! I don't know what else to say soup but maybe tell your t

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[healingme4me]

I don't feel,,I've ever wanted a verbal altercation with any of my T's, or even PDoc, for that matter(unless, he professed a newfound love of the Yankees, then game on...that wouldn't happen, though; he seems concerned, I'd stop loving my beloved Boston teams, if I get to move, i digress).

If, and when, I come away from a session feeling unheard, which is rare, I go back, next time and address it. Feeling heard, and being agreed with,,are two different balls of yarn. I grew up, with parents that listened however, no arguing at dinner, primarily. Stepmom, is the dismissive one, in my life.

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[boredporcupine]

I have wanted to pick a fight with my T several times. Of course it never worked because she is too gentle and won't fight back. One time after the death of someone I knew, I told her I felt like picking a fight and also like knocking stuff over. She said I was feeling "protest" and because she does Somatic Experiencing she actually suggested that we could physically push against each other. So we both stood up and I pushed against her hands (pretty hard) until my arms were tired. I told her I felt like actually pushing her into the wall (which is not allowed) but I did feel much better afterwards. I felt really tingly and then I kind of just flopped over on the couch and the sadness hit me, but I could talk about how it felt to lose this person instead of just feeling destructive.