There is room for everybody on Couch 72

It's 7PM on Fat Tuesday and I haven't drunken any alcohol, probably a first for me. Probably won't be drinking at all today (unless I decide to take 1 out of my fridge which I might do).

One of the things I do love about this forum is getting to see things from other angles, and seeing life from another perspective and hearing others' philosophies.

Ready, Jane Eyre was my favorite book from age 7 or 8 on. The book just really resonated with me and to some extent kept me sane and alive growing up. Here is a quote that I marked and came back to over and over when I felt all alone and like no one liked me, or when my mom point blank said she would only love me if I met her standards or acted the way she wanted me to: “I can live alone, if self-respect, and circumstances require me so to do. I need not sell my soul to buy bliss. I have an inward treasure born with me, which can keep me alive if all extraneous delights should be withheld, or offered only at a price I cannot afford to give.” So peace at any cost, to me, was never one of the possibilities I considered. I decided early on that peace was impossible, so I might as well retain my self respect. I guess my perspective might have been different if peace ever seemed realistic or possible.

It is enlightening to hear about your experience always, and I think it helps me have more empathy for my husband. I really do appreciate your willingness to share. Thank you.

Blah session today. Blah, blah. I dont think T was feeling well.

im off in a few hours to pick up my boy in Boston .i hate that im bringing him home to such a horrible family

Yes, the soundtrack is one of my very favorites!!
I find this SO interesting, SD, because I see you as so stoic…and yet, easily felled by emotions at Disney movies!
If you feel like it, can you be more specific?
Brave is probably my new favorite Disney movie.
Why do you think it will close? Serious question. I think the other thread got shut down because OTHER PEOPLE took it off track. And that was like 2 people.
What? What horrible family? Your mom?

my farther who is basically going to tell him that he wants nothing to do with him if he gets out of the marines in a year . and also wants to buy a car when he gets home. it hurts me so much for my son. what ever happened to unconditional love . not anything i ever grew up with with my farther and now he is going to try and do the same to my son .basically you are crap unless you do what he sees as the right thing to do. there is a lot more going on but basically it is going to be a huge crap storm around here for a bit . im terrified of it .and i have no T around to help keep me from freaking (what a surprise) it is all im terrified of it all .i cant handle any more hurt right now .im just really raw

Would you like YT to meet H?

Mardi Gras also reminds me of when I had to get up extremely early (around 4AM) to set up for a live event that started later that morning at a local bar (in many years going to school right afterwards).

Jersey---hope your dad is ok????

No need to apologize for writing again. We want to know how you're doing. We're here for support, right? If you start to feel horribly low, or just want to talk, you can PM me any time and I will respond as soon as I can.

Yes - sad scary disney movies are my kryptonite. Actually I can read books about all sorts of stuff - even old yeller, but movie watching is agonizing.

I still miss when the used to show old Disney (and non-Disney) films on "The Disney Channel" (that was usually one of the highlights for me during Free Preview Weekends).

Thank you, tametc. Means a lot.

I agree.

(TMI removed - sorry)

My T has said something like that at some point. I agree with you. Sounds good, doesn't work that well. In my case because I am not strong enough and brave enough to share my thoughts with H. I take the easy way out by being silent.
I find it hard to discuss this with T, because if I were T, I'd take H's side, and I always look for signs that T does that.

and the world is spinning correctly on its axis in my household once again... H is happy and even making me my lunch to take to work...

And life can move on without all the drama

my night was so bad .going to get my son last night was even more horrible then expected. the airline lost his bags ,he lost his temper and they threatened to arrest him for calmly swearing .he never raised his voice at all. on the way home it was stated on many occasions from my farther that any decision my son makes that he does not agree with was wrong but could see how he was a chip off his mothers block. basically it was my parenting . I cant even count how many time stuff like that came out of his horrid mouth. just so horribly mean. he doesn't even hold my son accountable for his decisions but blames me for all of what he sees as my sons failures . over and over again . he would talk to my stepmother about it like I wasn't even there. saying stuff like ."like you know what the mother is like" and she would agree. it just hurts.by the time I got home I was crushed into a million pieces

Velcro...don't you see that two is all it takes? If I post a thread about anything close to BPD that is negative at all, they will complain and get it shut down. But if I post a negative thread about PTSD, that would be fine.

(((granite)))
Please just enjoy your son.

My boy is really sick right now, he was admitted to the hospital yesterday.
I really hope they find an antibiotic that works for him, quickly.

It finally looks like my assessment will start soon! They emailed me today and told me we could probably meet up for a first meeting on the 26th this month (just have to confirm it)! Those are good news, people. I've been waiting for this for 1.5 years now. Getting assessed worries me but I'm really looking forward to getting it over with. Hopefully it'll give me some answers. (Sorry if this sounds cryptic. What I'm getting assessed for is no secret or anything. Just don't know if people want to hear about it. I just wanted to share the good news anyway. )

Also, question: I'm supposed to attend an event tonight where I'll have to do some mingling. I hate mingling. Not only does it make me super anxious but it also makes me confused because I really suck at small-talk. My social skills aren't good enough (I'm serious). Any suggestions on how to handle those kinds of situations?

I guess tonight might be a good time to try those beta blockers I got prescribed the other week.

granite, I hope you can get to where you can enjoy your boy's being home without the aggravation. You are a good mom, I know that.

wikid, ugh, scary. Thinking of you. Keep us posted?

neutrino, yay re asssessment! I would like to know more about it, if you feel up to sharing.
Small talk is hard, I agree. Try taking a beta blocker, perhaps (sez I who know nothing about how those things work...) I tend to fall back on talking about current events. Unless the talk turns political, that's usually a safe bet.

Wikid- I hope your son get better quickly.

At this time tomorrow I'll be on a plane to London.
I'm going to see my niece. We're going to a show, and drink tea, and shop (for books, natch), and drink tea, and visit pubs, and meet friends of mine.
And drink tea.

[ETA: apologies for shifting tenses in the above.]

So my h said last night that the only problem he had ( we were talking about his overreaction to something) was the fact that he married the wrong person. Those word have been running through my head all day.

Wiki thinking of your son today.

Yeah, getting that email made my day. Anyway, I'm getting assessed for Asperger's Syndrome and AD(H)D. I've been told it's quite likely I have Asperger's but I think they're wrong (though a year ago I was "sure" I have it so I'm obviously not sure). The psychologist (who is specialized in these things) said she has some time on the 26th and she asked me when I'm available that day. I emailed back with a couple of suggestions. I hope it works out. I've waited so long for this and all of this has caused me a lot of confusion and anxiety. It has triggered a lot of thoughts and questions, which I guess is to be expected. I'm hoping I'll get some answers.

Anyway, your trip to England sounds pretty awesome. Have fun!

EDIT: I should add that the assessment takes a while and the psychologist said we'll be done by the summer or something.

EDIT 2: She just replied. We've now booked an appointment for the 26th!