[sweepy62]

I see this new t on wed 2.19.14 it will be the third session, she knows that , since my old t who left 2 weeks ago and did transitioning with me, we spoke about trust and stuff and about csa pacing and how I am guarded with this "therapeutic relationship" since I have been through 2 therapists leaving prematurely .

This t is ok, she is very empathic and such, Im ok and willing to try, I am trying my best to be verbal about current issues. Last session we ended up talking about certain triggers, I swear I dont even know how that happened, she brought it up, and I ended telling her (some of my triggers) then before the end of session, she gave me homework.

She wants me to write down all my triggers (csa) and not only that ,but write down the emotional feelings it produces and also physical feelings. My old t never got to that part, we were going to do that, but then she left. This homework is quite soon for a second session!!!!!!, she says it will help for when we do our csa work , whenever that is.

The problem is that, the physical sensations are stuff I can write but not verbalize, so I will probably do this homework, but not read it to her, which kind of defeats the purpose, dont you think.

[Truck33]

No I don't think it defeats the purpose. It's just a step in the right direction.
I did something like this with my t.
It is good to write things that You can not verbalize yet. She can read it while you are not there if you want ...She will acknowledged it and should gently encourage you to try and talk about the feelings it brought up..

It may be several weeks before you can verbalize it out
loud but the fact that she knows what it is , helps the process and she is able to work and understand you better.

So just take small steps or even big steps in the process

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[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by Truck33

No I don't think it defeats the purpose. It's just a step in the right direction.
I did something like this with my t.
It is good to write things that You can not verbalize yet. She can read it while you are not there if you want ...She will acknowledged it and should gently encourage you to try and talk about the feelings it brought up..

It may be several weeks before you can verbalize it out
loud but the fact that she knows what it is , helps the process and she is able to work and understand you better.

So just take small steps or even big steps in the process

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thanks , here lies the problem, my therapy rules are that , i can write, but i need to read what i write, she will not read what i write lol

[Truck33]

Well you should question that rule then.. It's your therapy .ask how that rule helps... you should be doing things that help you grow.... And if you don't want to ask .... Then you can still write and bring it in and talk about how you need to figure out a way to verbalize it when your ready.
Just keep brining it or have her keep it for you and every week you guys can talk about the pain behind verbalizing it...
I have done this before and currently doing it . Although my t read it. We talk about the fact that I'm too scared to talk about it..it's been like 3 weeks since I wrote and still every session since has been ones that reassure that she is safe to verbalize too ...

You can try this too.. It will not be easy but hopefully you will get to a place that allows you to slowly read a one line then the next until you can read the whole thing and process the feelings that come with that .


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[Truck33]

Well a better way to say that is ... If you feel like that rule is hindering you to take a step forward..... Then maybe
You can think about questioning that rule if you feel the need to

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