[Amandasmom]

Hi, in my Ts office, she has a full size sofa (which I sit on) and then a full size chair that she sits on. The distance between her and me is around 8 feet. We face each other. I sometimes feel she is sitting so far away from me.

I going through this really difficult period right now and was thinking of asking her to sit on the sofa with me (not to close, by the other end) or move her chair closer. I just feel I need to be closer to her right now as she is the only one to know what Im going through (even my family doesn't know).

I will tell her she doesn't need to do this at every session, just this one as I think it will be an intense session.

Do u think this is an unreasonable request? Perhaps there is some psychological reason she sits so far across from me and not next to me. How far apart are you from your T? Thanks for your input!

[RTerroni]

With my last Therapist she was maybe 3 feet away from me which I though was too close, my current Therapist she probably sits about 10 feet from me which I think is more comfortable.

[HazelGirl]

Definitely not. There are times I've wanted my T to sit closer. Although I haven't said so, I would think she would do so if I were to ask.

[stopdog]

It feels like the woman is right on top of me, but it is probably about five feet apart. I would love 8 or 10 ft away. Or 15.
And a chair instead of her awful couch.

[Sunflower Queen]

I used to move my chair closer before sitting when I arrived. When I started with T almost 3 years ago I mentioned if it was possible to dim the lights. Bright light had the impression I was on stage. She accommodated me and I'd like to think her other clients benefit also.

[Mactastic]

Originally Posted by Sunflower Queen

When I started with T almost 3 years ago I mentioned if it was possible to dim the lights. Bright light had the impression I was on stage. She accommodated me and I'd like to think her other clients benefit also.

My T has a nice corner office with two huge floor-to-ceiling windows on two of the four walls. My first few weeks he didn't have the blinds closed all the way and I felt like a fish (or maybe a lobster, lol) on display. I finally had to ask him to close them and I've never seen them open since. Funny how he could be so inconsiderate, he's very considerate in all other areas.

But back to the OP, my T has a wingback chair about 6 feet away. I wish we could sit on the floor or on the same couch. Less formal might help me open up. He's offered to take walks but I've never taken him up on his offer. Even though it's his suggestion it feels a bit too much like a boundary crossing.

[Elektra_]

hi. i read in a book that the seating arrangement has meanings behind it. a therapist can use it according their objectives. u can ask her to do it, is completely understandable. tc

[willowbrook]

I've never really paid much attention to the distance between us. It's enough that I don't feel personal space is being invaded, but close enough that I don't feel like I'm having to shout across the great divide. He usually stays in the one position, and says 'grab a chair', and then I make the decision how close I sit. I usually choose a nice professional, but comfortable distance.

[Bill3]

We are probably three feet apart.

And a chair instead of her awful couch.

I bring a chair in from the waiting room so as to avoid the awful couch.

[stopdog]

The waiting room only has couches too. I usually do not go into the waiting room but was there a couple of times in the beginning.
I have ordered a portable chair and may start carrying that in because of a recent back injury.

[Bill3]

I'm sorry for your injury.

I hope you find the courage within side yourself to ask. May I suggest that you not include only this time. Because, if she says yes this time you may even be more afraid to ask if you need or want it again. You could possibly say, "This is so intense for me to tell you and I need you to sit next to me. Please? Will you do this for me?" This is my opinion only.