[peppermint1]

I apologize in advanced if this upsets anybody, I am just curious if anyone has some insight on this matter.

tomorrow I have a session with T. I am extremely nervous to how I am going to be during and after the session. a few months ago a close family member committed suicide, my T knows that this person and I both had not very please childhood experiences and that we were very close. We never went to far into the details(I asked to stop on more than one occasion) but tomorrow he wants to push it in a safe way(that's how he put it, he said it wont be easy but i can do it), Both the experiences and the suicide of the family member are apparently tied together for me(i still cant see it). I am so afraid that going down this road is going to crumble me, that i wont be the same if we talk about it and that my daily life will be affected. Has anyone else had a similar situation? where the unknown was worse than the known? Things have been floating in and out of my mind about everything and im afraid that talking about it all is going to make it increase.

[Leah123]

I've had similar experiences. My experience has taught me that you deserve to having coping/grounding skills before pushing into traumatic topics.

These can include:
A plan for anxiety before and after the session
A plan to decrease the intensity of the work in session whenever you feel the need
An outreach plan if you feel too upset to cope after disclosing so much and need some support before your next session.

I believe it's important to talk about the things you've mentioned, but it's equally important to make it as gentle as possible. It will never seem easy or comfortable the first go around, but it can also get destabilizing, so it's important to try and prevent that.

These plans can be customized and include anything and everything to calm you and keep you safe through the five senses, from comforting activities, songs, scents, creative outlets, comfort items, phone list, crisis plan, anxiety awareness and defusion techniques like breathing exercises or meditation, affirmations, etc. There are many strategies. Not sure if your T has worked with you on some yet, but I find them very helpful.

[nottrustin]

I am sorry if other people know this about you but I don't...does your T allow contact outside of sessions??

Yes I have felt like you are know..in the short term it was horrible but in the long term it was beneficial. T was there to every step of the way anytime I needed her.

[peppermint1]

Thank you both for you response!
He has taught me mindfulness for a anxiety that he uses in the sessions as well. He encourages routine coping skills(so im not disrupting my daily life and getting myself out of sorts) such as exercising or a work related project. As for the contact outside of sessions i don't know, he's said before if you need to call but i think it was in reference to he would bring me in for an apt(i don't think i should be doing that anyway, i like keeping my therapy and my daily routine very separate) i was to nervous to ask about the plan to be honest

[Leah123]

Originally Posted by peppermint1

Thank you both for you response!
He has taught me mindfulness for a anxiety that he uses in the sessions as well. He encourages routine coping skills(so im not disrupting my daily life and getting myself out of sorts) such as exercising or a work related project. As for the contact outside of sessions i don't know, he's said before if you need to call but i think it was in reference to he would bring me in for an apt(i don't think i should be doing that anyway, i like keeping my therapy and my daily routine very separate) i was to nervous to ask about the plan to be honest

I think it is important that you are comfortable enough to ask about the plan before you do deeper trauma work. One analogy I think relevant is with romantic intimacy- if you do not feel comfortable enough to ask your partner if they are using protection.... should you really be intimate with that person?

[peppermint1]

is that what this is called trauma work? I have seen the term on here before but I am afraid I don't know exactly what it means. If this makes any sense, I trust him a lot, but I don't know how to talk about these types of things. I kind grew up in the type of family that you keep private business to yourself.

[nottrustin]

sounds like Trama work to me...I agree with Leah you need to discuss the plan with T before going through all of this.