[emptyspace]

I never look at my T. Not even when I say hi.

Do you think they ever get tired of client's not looking at them?

I am convinced the client before me looks at T, because I have seen them talk on the way out...

So is it more common to look at T or not....

[RTerroni]

I'm sure that Therapists no that some people have trouble making eye contact (I am one of those people) so they probably don't mind it much.

[stopdog]

I only look at the woman when I am angry or otherwise trying to convey something she just isn't getting.
Otherwise I don't find looking at her useful.
I do make eye contact with real people in my life.

[Mactastic]

I have also wondered this. I am getting a lot better. I can look him in the eye most of the time when he's talking but rarely when I'm talking. I do wonder if it's annoying sometimes to talk to people without eye contact but I'm sure they're used to it.

[RTerroni]

I think that it is easier for me with having young females as my Therapists (although there still have been times in the past where I have had trouble maintaining eye contact since I can get fixated on looking at other stuff in the room), which is why I requested one at the practice I am at right now.

[trdleblue]

I have been going to my t for two years, and up until recently I never looked at him, and there were even times that I would look in the complete opposite direction. I have recently, in the last month, started medication, and I have now noticed a change in how I interact with him. I saw him today and I would say that I was making eye contact for the entire session. It is one of the many positives that I have noticed since going the medication route.

ETA - I want to add that I don't think that there is anything wrong with not making eye contact in the t interaction, and it is not something that I ever thought that I needed to work on. It's just something that I noticed changed, and for me, at least today, it made me feel more at ease in the room.

[granite1]

the title of this made me smile when i needed it .i bet my T must get tired of seeing the top of most clients head .as it seems a lot of us look at the floor

[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by granite1

the title of this made me smile when i needed it .i bet my T must get tired of seeing the top of most clients head .as it seems a lot of us look at the floor

Yeah I do that as well from time to time, I remember that with my 4 year Therapist that I almost had the carpet memorized by the time I finished Therapy with her.

[Bentay]

I used to mostly look at the floor, his shoes, his socks around the room. I barely made eye contact during the two years I was in therapy. Although, I do wish he had asked me why & helped me to get better at it.

[SmallestFatGirl]

I'd love to know that as well, emptyspace. Last time I was able to make eye contact briefly a few times, but mostly I look anywhere else.

Sent from my Kindle Fire HDX using Tapatalk

[A Red Panda]

I can feel my T trying to make eye contact sometimes. When I'm alright I look at him or try to. When I'm trying not to cry I don't. If I feel embarassed I don't. But my face is always in his direction... I just don't look at his face. If I do it's for a second and then gone again.

ETA: I don't think he minds at all. It's pretty common to make eye contact when you're not feeling happy. Embarassment, awkwardness, distrust, worry, fear, sadness.... all can cause people to look away. They would be aware of the fact that a lot of people do that, so I doubt it would bother them. If anything, they might feel a bit of accomplishment when we DO look them in the eye! (It's a big give away with my students when they won't make eye contact with me... it says "guilty!!!!" or "upset or worried" usually).

[RTerroni]

Although I will say that at the last 2 places I have been at it does help that there is not much else in the room for me to get fixated at looking at.

[nottrustin]

I think it is pretty normal for them so they are just use to it. As far as the person before you goes just because they talk on the way out does not mean they have eye contact during the appointment. I make eye contact in the beginning the appointment and then at the end. During the "meat" of the session I rarely make eye contact

My T has the chairs at an angle, so i have to turn to look at her.

Also the couch is probably used partly for this purpose.

[Rzay4]

I'm sure there used to it. I used to not make eye contact but with my new T it's better.

I hardly ever make eye contact either so when I do my T tries to maintain it, to the extent that the other day he was drinking from his water botttle and in order to keep eye contact he had to twist his head at a funny angle. It looked so strange i almost burst out laughing. I wanted to tell him it was ok to just drink.

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by granite1

the title of this made me smile when i needed it .i bet my T must get tired of seeing the top of most clients head .as it seems a lot of us look at the floor

Oh! I just now realized that the time he commented on the fact that I colored my hair, it's because he'd spent the past many weeks staring at the top of my graying little head.

[Espresso]

I generally stare at the wall or out the window. I make an effort to look at them, but I don't make too much of an effort because I figure they are equipped to deal with my awkwardness better than most in the world. Two times I do specifically look at them (and I think they've picked up on this) is when I am finished speaking to indicate that I'm done or when I'm saying something bluntly, something that I'm definitely sure about.

[suzzie]

ive never looked at any of my ts.

[lightcatcher]

I wonder if T does; I spend a lot of time looking at other things.
I feel that if I look at T she can see right through me to the deepest part, scares me. So I avoid looking unless I feel brave.

[someone321]

I'll ask once my T what she thinks about the eye contact... I do not have any problem with it and my T neither; however, my exT never looked in my eyes when I was talking and only sometimes (often but for a short time) when he was talking... It was a bit annoying as I was not sure if he listened at all or why he was so ashamed that he didn't look at me... But I think that for Ts it is not a problem when clients do not look at their eyes - I guess they know the reason for it...

[tasche13]

I think it's normal not to hold eye contact while talking since looking at a blank space/object can help you visualize what you want to say while it is normal to give eye contact when listening. In fact its a visual cue that its your turn to start talking when you get eye contact.

It's more important to have when listening.

[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by tasche13

I think it's normal not to hold eye contact while talking since looking at a blank space/object can help you visualize what you want to say while it is normal to give eye contact when listening. In fact its a visual cue that its your turn to start talking when you get eye contact.

It's more important to have when listening.

True but some people (myself included) have trouble maintaining eye contact for various reasons.

[SeekerOfLife]

This is an area I struggle with. I have a lifelong bad habit of not making eye contact. Also, I recently came to realize I associate eye contact with anger. I make a lot of effort in life to make and keep eye contact, but it is an area I need to keep working on.