[ahdm]

17th March.

One month.

17th February. My last and final appointment with my therapist.

I had only just started to get over everything about therapy. I'd only just started to accept the ending - the how and why, anyway. All of it was made harder by my viewing my therapist as a mother figure, and then having to deal with the feeling of abandonment again, only without her help. I had only just started to accept that I will never see her again. Ever.

I had only just been able to start sleeping peacefully and not cry every night.

Bu that was before I received an email from her office.

I was a pretty happy girl this morning - I'd just finished my Biology Practical Exam, which went well, and was told my placement at hospital had been confirmed. But then I get an email. And everything came crashing down. It was from the Contracts Manager with a 'Closure Letter' attached...

One month after it ended!!! Why?!?!

I am distraught. I'm a blubbering mess. I cannot stop crying now, and I know it will take even longer just for me to even think about getting over it. Why have they done this now?? Why did they feel the need to send it after one month!

I can't stop going over everything in my head - every session, every hello, every goodbye every worksheet, every feeling, every emotion, every word. I really don't even know what to do with myself now. I feel like I need to talk to my teacher more than ever now.

At the end of the closure letter, the woman said if I ever "required further counselling support in the future" then I should contact them. WHY?!

I'd only just convinced myself that I couldn't ever go back there again, and I could never see her again or hear her voice again. And now I'm told I can go back! This is really really not good for me or my emotional state.

Damn that stupid email and letter!

[SoupDragon]

I am sorry you are feelings so sad right now. Unfortunately the "admin" side of the services and the therapy are often so distant from each other, with the admin staff not always having any idea of how their actions impact on clients.

This sounds like a standard letter that has got sent out, thoughtless, badly written.

Take care - Soup

[Outcast_of_RGaol]

I'm so saddened to hear that you have to go through this and hope that you can find a way rally from the distraught-ness and the blubbering; all perfectly understandable given the situation.
I'm kinda' new here and seeing that people seem to be going through this more than I'd thought that it might be happening and it's devastating to the patients. It's hard for me to watch because I just don't understand it.

But I'm not sure that I fully understand what exactly happened and was wondering if you could tell us why did you quit seeing your T? It seems as though you're saying that you stopped seeing her and that things were going okay until you received that Email? Is that right or have I totally misunderstood?

Regardless, I hope for happiness and peace. Don't give up, ever!!

[Cherubbs]

That was a thoughtless ending to the letter, as though you went on your merry way without a care in the world. It doesn't acknowledge the reality you are experiencing at all. I hope you feel better very soon.

[Mactastic]

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. What was the point of a closure letter anyway? What did it say?

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[Bill3]

(((((ahdm)))))

so sorry you have to deal with this ♥

[unaluna]

I thought you were setting up another appointment thru CHAMP or something anyway?

[ahdm]

Originally Posted by Outcast_of_RGaol

I'm so saddened to hear that you have to go through this and hope that you can find a way rally from the distraught-ness and the blubbering; all perfectly understandable given the situation.
I'm kinda' new here and seeing that people seem to be going through this more than I'd thought that it might be happening and it's devastating to the patients. It's hard for me to watch because I just don't understand it.

But I'm not sure that I fully understand what exactly happened and was wondering if you could tell us why did you quit seeing your T? It seems as though you're saying that you stopped seeing her and that things were going okay until you received that Email? Is that right or have I totally misunderstood?

Regardless, I hope for happiness and peace. Don't give up, ever!!

I didn't quit therapy voluntarily; I'd had 6 sessions with her last summer, then another 8 from December to February. That was pretty much over the maximum I was allowed, and they are only a standard 'charity'. If I had the choice, I wouldn't have stopped at all. But after the inevitable happened, I spiralled back into depression. It's got a bit easier, and I'd finally started to move on when - BAM. It's all brought back up again, with fresh memories, fresh emotions, and fresh tears.

Thank you for your kind words

[ahdm]

Originally Posted by Mactastic

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. What was the point of a closure letter anyway? What did it say?

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It was basically a scan of a letter that would have normally been sent by post, but I think she emailed it either because she knows I didn't use to want anything sent to my home address, or because that's just the way they do things.

I really don't know what the point of it was. This is what the bulk of it was:

Dear _______

You have received 8 counselling sesisons which ended on 17th February 2014.

If you should require further counselling support in the future please phone _______________ on ______________. There will be someone here to offer information and advice on the best way to be referred.

Yours Sincerely
_____________

[ahdm]

Originally Posted by hankster

I thought you were setting up another appointment thru CHAMP or something anyway?

I was referred by my former therapist to CAMHS, and they've contacted me, but I haven't decide whether or not to make an appointment. It is all so very complicated, so it might bore you.

But having CAMHS contact me doesn't really feel relevant...not to sound rude...but whether I was with CAMHS or not, I still would feel exactly the same about this closure letter.

[Daisymay]

((((ahdm))))
It sounds like one of those silly standard letters they 'have' to send out when clients finish. It's a shame they don't give a bit of thought to whether they are always appropriate. I know things can trigger things and set you back. But you'd been doing well. You should be really proud of yourself.

If you think you can then I think you should make the appointment with CAHMS because it does sound as though you still need support and a bit longer term - until you feel ready to stop yourself? You deserve to have that.

Take care.