My therapist has offered me a job

What do I need to consider?...

She offered it because functionally it makes a lot of sense - I'm desperately in need of more work, and she really needs a PA. I'm extremely grateful, and after thinking it over have said I'd like to try it out if we both agree after talking over the finer details.

What questions should I ask? What should I keep in mind?

The only bit that I can think of that I need to ask her to clarify is really about the boundaries on it. She commented that we will keep the job and therapy entirely separate (good) but then also mentioned that she thinks it will be good for helping me learn boundaries. I'm not sure what that really means. And also it almost lends an extra dimension of workshopping to the job itself, but maybe I'm interpreting it wrongly?

Boundaries?

I think your therapist has crossed a big one here.

I'd carefully think about NOT accepting this job offer.

But, what do I know, I'm just a silly Pfrog!

I wouldn't want to do it. I think it would be hard to keep those boundaries... what if one of you had a bad day professionally how would that effect your relationship? I ADORED my previous np (she had to leave her job not by choice) I have heard from a couple of people that worked as her assistant that she is very demanding and hard to work with....

I really like my T my kids have dog sat for T while she is out of state a couple of times but she is never home...they feed the dog and takes him for a walk. The only part I play in it is that she makes sure with me scheduling wise and I drive them there and back...

I would ask her if she has crossed any ethical boundaries for her profession. I know that psychologists, social workers, and physicians all have ethical standards. I know that in the profession that I am licensed in, I would lose my license for this sort of lapse of judgment. But I am more concerned about YOU.

I think the best way to learn boundaries would be to ask her to refer you to a new therapist. But that is just my humble opinion. Best to you, no matter what you decide to do.

Wouldnt do it. Her fault for offering. What if you heard her griping about other clients? Learn more about her personal life and it impacts your ability to open up in session? I would feel on edge while working the whole time!!

I think this is bad news and you should stop seeing her. Just the fact that she would ask shows total lapse of judgement.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

If PA means what I think it means, you two could have disagreements about patient care. If that is the case, you could be proactive from the start in deciding how you both want to handle those disagreements.

This is iffy. I interpret what she said about helping you learn boundaries as working to apply them outside therapy. This is all and good. I just think you both have to have the ability to compartmentalize the therapy and work. Can you both do that?

She seems to intertwine things, rather than leave that therapisty space that I am familiar with. I don't know. It could work; just be cautious.

Of course, in my fantasies with my T, this would work 100%.

I don't think it would be a good idea. Client OR employee, but not both. I don't see how that could work without you getting hurt.

Girl, I don't know what the standards for practice are in the UK. I think this would clearly be seen as a dual relationship in the US, and discouraged very strongly. It puts both of you at risk. Her intentions may be good, but I think she is taking a very, very unwise step here. What happens if she isn't pleased with your work performance? Can you really imagine that this won't carry over into therapy? It certainly puts added pressure upon you. She may believe consciously that it wouldn't, but I think that would be naive.

Also, you've mentioned that she sees you at no cost. Again, it may be unconscious on her part, but I think it's reasonable to suspect a "pay back" motivation as an influence. Or the opposite: that it feeds into playing out some sort of rescue/benefactor fantasy on her part. Either way, not a good situation for you.

Is she subject to supervision? If she's in private practice, does she voluntarily seek out peer supervision? If so, at the very least, I would suggest a joint meeting where all of these issues are discussed. The worst case scenario is that you lose both a job and a T relationship in all this.

I would think about that one, you have been through alot with this t lately about boundaries remember? Now out of the blue a job offer, kinda mixed messages there in my opinion, what about when you have your off days with her, through no fault of your own, just stuff you are working on, what then? I think she didnt think about your best interest here, just my oppinion, just because I care.

Think about any boss you have had. Then imagine that they knew virtually every single thing about you. Every little thing. And then every time something comes up that you want to talk to your therapist about, you're talking to your boss.

I don't see any way it could work out well.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Just wondering-did she ever have a PA before? That would make a difference. If not, she might not know what she is getting into...

What if she needed to fire you or let you go for financial reasons on her part? What if you had access to other client's records? What if you had to take off work for some reason? I see WAY too many problems with this, and any T who would suggest it is sketchy at best, and very harmful at worst.

I think the question here is how does this tie in with the fact that you have not paid her for four months.

It seems even more complex than usual because of that fact.

Do you feel obligated to take it so that you can be more self-sufficient and maybe pay for some of your therapy?

Do you feel obligated to take it so she won't blame you for not making enough progress again or to keep her from resenting you if you turn it down and still can't pay her?

Is she doing it because she needs a PA and you're qualified, or to work with you as a favor or because she's fond of you?

Considering she's so important to you, how would it be to have her importance in your life increase even more as she would be your employer?

Just raises so many questions for me.

What are you thinking about it?

I don't believe it's necessarily a 100% "no" - but.... definitely complicated.

Yikes. That strikes me as one of the biggest reddest flags I've ever seen. Working for her would help YOU learn boundaries?? That's a bit rich, no?

I think if you really, really need or want this job it might be time to get another therapist. But as One World pointed out, you would still have a boss who knows way, way too much about you.

The more I think of this, the more it sounds like a bad idea. I tried to be open minded. Sorry.

I do not see this as a wise move. T is way out of line and question if she is not just testing you to see what you will say or do since you mentioned that you have been talking about boundaries.

I don't really think that it crosses boundaries at all, if a Therapist has a client who really wants to work and they have a job available for them, than I see no harm in asking them if they want the job.

no. Just no. From reading your post about your last session this is a really odd situation to have happen. There is an ulterior motive behind this.

In the US this is a boundary violation of a huge kind and wouldn't happen. Even if it is ok where u are, what would happen if things just didn't mesh with the two of you in a professional capacity? That would be the end of any therapeutic relationship.

No.


.

Here is something from the legal code in my state:

There's a reason that laws and ethical codes frown on this kind of thing. It probably won't turn out very well. If I were you, I'd say no, and then probably start looking for a new T. I'm sorry...

Reading your post about your last session, and then this post leaves me with a queasy, uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. I don't know what to say to be of much help, but I think my first instinct would be to run like hell. I can't see a way in which your therapist's motives are at all clean, and she crossed a pretty major boundary by even offering you a job, at least by the therapeutic code of ethics in my area.

To the point! But how did you manage to get a 3 character response to post???

Spaces count as characters I think