[growlithing]

Recently, I've been very shut down. I can't talk about anything because everything hurts and the things that don't hurt aren't worth talking about. I don't want to talk about school T leaving, I don't want to talk about how my self care has gotten worse again, I don't want to talk about my living arrangements for next year, I don't want to talk about past trauma, I don't want to talk about feelings because I'm starting to really struggle to identify them. But I don't want to not go or talk because I feel completely disconnected from the whole world and crave a deep and meaningful conversation. I have to be so light with everyone became people wouldn't be able to handle the intensity of my life and feelings/lack of feelings and I feel like they wouldn't like me if I was depressive and didn't make them laugh. But anyway, I don't know what to say to LCM and school T. My defenses are too high to talk about anything. I chew out school T whenever she says anything and I'm almost as bad with LCM.

I really miss LCM. I haven't talked to her since Monday or heard from her since Tuesday... lol I'm still not exactly doing well with separation.

[growlycat]

Sorry if you are sick of hearing what I'm about to ask-- Have you been assigned a new trauma T yet?

Losing school T and trauma T is a huge upheaval, and with dbt group being the way it is , you need more support.

Can LCM help you with the trauma T situation?

[sweepy62]

hi growly, i am sorry your t is leaving, you know i been there and done that, I really didnt know you were going to miss your school t this much, I didnt think you were really open with her, but I guess it was a secure feeling for you that she was there I know that shutting down feeling, I have been through it twice, but trust me you can do it, I promise, open up to your lc about this, you are most comfortable with her.

[growlithing]

Originally Posted by growlycat

Sorry if you are sick of hearing what I'm about to ask-- Have you been assigned a new trauma T yet?

Losing school T and trauma T is a huge upheaval, and with dbt group being the way it is , you need more support.

Can LCM help you with the trauma T situation?

No I haven't. I don't understand what is taking so long. But I'm not really super excited to try and find a new one because I'm scared of opening up to someone who will suddenly leave again.

[growlithing]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

hi growly, i am sorry your t is leaving, you know i been there and done that, I really didnt know you were going to miss your school t this much, I didnt think you were really open with her, but I guess it was a secure feeling for you that she was there I know that shutting down feeling, I have been through it twice, but trust me you can do it, I promise, open up to your lc about this, you are most comfortable with her.

I don't even feel like I am going to miss her because I have pulled way back but at the same time, I pulled back from being able to identify my own feelings.

In other news, I finally chewed out my mother for barely give me enough money to eat two meals a day. Hopefully she decides to be reasonable.

[growlycat]

I understand why the thought of a new TT isn't inspiring.

But maybe you could let LCM help you with this?