[ImNotHere]

So in my therapy there is a topic I am not quite ready to deal with yet. It is something I have struggled with for years. There are some times where I am ok with talking about it (and I will let her know) but there are other times when I am not and she doesn't really get it. I understand that she wants to push me and challenge me and try to help me get through this topic that troubles me and causes me repetitive, obsessive, bad thoughts but sometimes I just cannot talk about this.

There are just times I do not want to talk about this. This is something I may want to talk about lets say 1 out of every 8 sessions, because while she may feel satisfied having pushed me or in her mind challenging and helping me, truth is I then go home and go into a weekend long drinking coma and so it is just a vicious cycle and seems to do me more harm than good. How can I get her to understand? I have tried talking to her about this but she keeps pushing me and I can't seem to make any of this better. On one hand if I don't deal with these issues me repetitive obsessive thoughts will never stop, but on the other hand dealing with them, well I obviously don't do that well.

[HazelGirl]

Can you tell her everything you've written here? Maybe even print out the post and give it to her?

[stopdog]

I would tell them to stop and if they did not I would simply repeat it each time and change the subject.

[Victoria'smom]

I wrote a list of off limit topics. She's been very good at staying as close to off limits but steering the conversation in a way that I bring up the topic.

[sweepy62]

I m dealing with some hard topics at a very monitored gentle yet challenging pace, but there are off limit words for now, and she respects them. I cant stall on the hard topics forever, maybe if you just tell her to give you coping skills, or just flat out tell her, stop im not ready.

[ImNotHere]

Well therapy was better than expected today. I started by me telling her I didn't want to talk long about this topic, she said "i don't know about that" and then we ended up taking the entire time talking about this and had a major, major breakthrough, a major answer was revealed, something I have been searching for, for a very long time. First time I have ever cried in therapy. So I guess I spoke too soon. Now it will not be the same next week because I can't handle this emotional of a session each week but this week was not what I expected.

[HazelGirl]

I am glad to hear that. I know it's scary and painful, but it sounds like you're doing good work.

[RTerroni]

Hope all goes well for you, I had a similar situation a few weeks back when my Therapist wouldn't give me a hug at very hard session, but we were able to reconcile our differences and have really enjoyed and gotten a lot out of the last few sessions.

Good work, and well done, ImNotHere. I'm very glad to hear you had that session and that it went so well.

[Anouk]

Kudos to you for making that breakthrough. If it is an emotional session -- ask her to help ground you before you leave.