In my late teens, one of the therapists I saw was a woman who specialized in treating the "reptilian brain".

Rather than the purely talk therapy, or giving supplements/medications, what she would do is have me talk about the sources of my issues, and then have me describe what physical effects remembering or speaking of those memories made me feel. So tightened chest, shallow breathing, tight muscles, legs shaking, etc. Once identified she would have me concentrate on those physical effects to try to reduce or eliminate the negative ways in which my body reacted to those memories.

Now a big trigger for me has always been close physical proximity to others. I'm uncomfortable sitting on a couch with someone even if there is an empty cushion between us. Merely being in the same room as someone makes my muscles tense up. That (and bullying) had resulted in me being home schooled for most of my high school, since I couldn't handle being in that setting surrounded by people. This was the main thing I was working on with the therapist, with the goal of returning to public school.

However, after a couple months she began using her own body to trigger those physical effects. She would move her chair closer and have me describe how I was feeling, then would have me address those negative effects. I never really made progress, but as the weeks went by she kept pushing ahead this way. Eventually it was no longer just her seated close, but now initiating physical contact. A knee touching my leg, an arm sharing my arm rest, a hand on my knee or shoulder. I would literally be shaking during these sessions and could barely breath, and I couldn't wait for them to be over so I could race out of there. She seemed to think this was normal though, saying that the reaction would decrease over time, and that I needed to reach the core of the response in order to be able to address it.

In the final session I had with her she had moved her chair as close as she could in front of mine, sat on the edge of the seat, then put my legs between her thighs. She remained like that for 15-20 minutes while having me describe how I was feeling. Not only was I extremely uncomfortable because of my own issues, I felt it was completely inappropriate contact between a therapist and patient.

When I described what had happened to my parents they both flipped out and got in an argument with the therapist over the phone, and that was it for my sessions with her.

The memory is still uncomfortable over a decade later, but I still don't know if that reaction is the right one or not. Is that kind of thing what is usually done in therapy dealing with the "reptilian brain", or was I correct in thinking it was totally inappropriate?

[stopdog]

The second therapist I saw talked about the brain like that. I quit going to her after a few months because I found her completely useless.

[Asiablue]

It sounds like she was doing somatic experiencing, what she did wasn't really inappropriate in terms of ethics and exposure therapy which i think that might have been. However, maybe she should have gone a lot slower with you, maybe the trust wasn't there for you or you just weren't ready for that level of intensity. I think she moved too fast for you.

[pegasus]

In the final session I had with her she had moved her chair as close as she could in front of mine, sat on the edge of the seat, then put my legs between her thighs. She remained like that for 15-20 minutes while having me describe how I was feeling. Not only was I extremely uncomfortable because of my own issues, I felt it was completely inappropriate contact between a therapist and patient.

Kind of sounded ok to start with but heck it certainly ends up totally inappropriate! And you were in your teens! Not good, not good at all. I do hope you can seek therapy now with an ethical therapist and talk thorugh what happened. Safe hugs!

[growlycat]

Most of this sounds like exposure therapy, but I have never heard of a T putting someone's legs between their thighs , yikes. Agreed she went too fast overall with a strange ending!

[ahdm]

I'm so sorry you have such difficulties with physical contact with others. It must be really hard, and I can tell already that you are a very strong person.

This is just my own opinion, but I do think that your previous therapist's actions were inappropriate. Others might disagree with me, but from my point of view, looking at your situation from the outside, I think she went too far.

I don't know much about therapy specifically dealing with the "reptilian brain", but I have a theory. For others who are (relatively) comfortable with physical contact, they might not take much notice of her actions (i.e. when she moved her chair closer, or when she put your legs between hers). Of course, they might either flinch a little if they found it awkward, or they might be happy that they can have that contact with their therapist. However, for somebody who suffers with triggers from touch like you do, there is a point, imho, where it goes too far and it becomes inappropriate.

I agree with your previous therapist on the fact that gradual exposure to touch and contact with others could help decrease the number of triggers and help you feel more comfortable. Saying that, I do literally mean "gradual", as in very slowly, over a long period of time. I do not agree with her actions in your last session at all. I think she went too far, too quickly. I would definitely be freaked out if my therapist did that to me after only a few months, and I wouldn't be in the situation you are.

I could be totally wrong, this is just my opinion, but I think your reaction is pretty spot on - if you weren't comfortable with it at all, and you felt it was going too far, then that needed to be addressed. I think it was a good move that you ended therapy with her then, otherwise it might have become worse.

If you ever feel uncomfortable about something, or you really don't like what someone is doing, please tell them. It is better to let others know what you need, so that they can understand better, and so are better equipped to help you.

I'd like to ask - are you in therapy now? If you are, what sort of therapy are you in, and how do you find your therapist compared to your therapist 10 years ago? If not, have you considered going back to therapy?

Sending all my love and support

[brillskep]

She sounds intrusive. It's one think to work with the body (when and if you, the client, are ready and willing) and an entirely other story to force it on you and to get to such an intimate level of touch when you're feeling so unsafe and uncomfortable. I'm sorry you've been through this and glad you are no longer working with her. I don't know if you can still report her after so much time, but back then I'm sure you could have. I hope you have or will find an ethical therapist to help you with your issues and with processing what's left from the bad experiences with that therapist.

Originally Posted by ahdm

I'd like to ask - are you in therapy now? If you are, what sort of therapy are you in, and how do you find your therapist compared to your therapist 10 years ago? If not, have you considered going back to therapy

Not currently. I haven't been in therapy for over a decade now. Occasionally I get a long appointment and speak with my GP, but he's not trained for that so it's much more casual discussion than therapy.

I didn't find that any of the therapists I went to helped a whole lot, unfortunately. While the one I described in my post made me feel uncomfortable, I had a far worse experience with a different one I went to. The results of that one cost me an art scholarship and derailed my career plans - something I'm still trying to piece back together. I briefly tried going to two others after that, but neither clicked with me at all. I have trust issues which leads to a bad habit of creating a persona, rather than showing up as myself. Not that I know who "myself" would really be.

[Favorite Jeans]

I think it's totally inappropriate. I mean having your legs between her thighs is totally out-there, completely not okay under any circumstance, but it sounds like it might have been quite inappropriate earlier on. When a therapist exposes you to increasingly stressful situations with the goal of desensitizing you and helping you overcome your anxiety they need to keep checking in about your level of distress.

I think the idea is to push you just past your comfort zone but not into your panic zone. So if 1 is comfortable and 10 is freaking out they should be aiming for 4-6. I also think they should not be moving to the next challenge until you can cope quite well with the preceding one. So once you're truly managing having her chair 3 feet away, maybe she can try 2 feet away. She should never force you into full-on panic because at that point you are generally no longer able to use your skils to centre yourself and keep it together. Usually by 8 or 9 you're bolting from the room, totally dissociated or getting into a panic attack.

Another thing is that it sounds like you didn't feel respected. How are you supposed to trust someone who doesn't respect you, doesn't seem to be on your side and doesn't seem to care that you're incredibly distressed.

[blur]

it does sound like it was getting inappropriate at the end. i mean, where was she going to stop? before that it sounds like she wasn't at all attuned to where you were at with what she was doing. i agree with FJ that freaking the client out is really not helpful.

it does sound like some combination of somatic experiencing and exposure therapy from what others have described on this forum of their experiences with those types of therapy. personally, i think some of SE sounds rather out there and kind of sketchy. jmo.