[emptyspace]

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Do you ever worry that you or "your issues" are too much for T?

That the more you tell, the more likely T is to realize they are not capable of handling it?
.
It's like I should have spilled everything up front, day one, and said "can you deal with this?"... instead of waiting to be too much.

How do you get past this feeling?

[HazelGirl]

Yes. But my T has always risen to the occasion.

[AmysJourney]

Originally Posted by emptyspace

.
Do you ever worry that you or "your issues" are too much for T?

That the more you tell, the more likely T is to realize they are not capable of handling it?
.
It's like I should have spilled everything up front, day one, and said "can you deal with this?"... instead of waiting to be too much.

How do you get past this feeling?

I actually did this... On day one I spilled everything out, the worst things imaginable and I said: "If you can't handle this tell me now, then I will find another therapist!"
It has helped me and her.

I still sometimes think my health situation is "too much" but I have to learn to accept that it isn't. And if it was, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it so she either can deal with it or she can't - I have to accept either. And that helps taking the pressure of off me.

[stopdog]

No. I figure I am fairly run of the mill.

[AnnaBegins]

All the time - and I still can't believe he hasn't bolted on me yet.

[Ambra]

Happens all the time: I keep asking for reassurance, I think time also helps when you see your therapist sticking. I also considered spilling everything at the first session but I'm not capable of it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I worried all the time. He said I wasn't but he did eventually decide he couldn't help me anymore. Life goes on.

Originally Posted by emptyspace

.
Do you ever worry that you or "your issues" are too much for T?

It's like I should have spilled everything up front, day one, and said "can you deal with this?"... instead of waiting to be too much.

That's pretty much what I did. I also chose a therapist who worked with complex populations and published work about it and who had a lot of training and experience. I am so glad I did because I don't worry at all about him terminating the treatment.

However, it doesn't stop the fears of being too much for him, too needy, too clingy, liking him too much, wanting to be too close, etc.

That the more you tell, the more likely T is to realize they are not capable of handling it?

I think psychodynamic therapists have a pretty good sense of what your issues are up front. It sounds like this fear is really holding you back. Have you or can you talk to your T about this?

I talk to my therapist about these fears all of the time. It helps. Former T provided a lot of reassurance that I wouldn't be too much.

With current T, I straight out ask him things because I feel really safe and secure with him. I realize the fears are mostly transference.

[Victoria'smom]

I know I'm a lot but that's part of my charm.

[Lamplighter]

Yes all the time, and especially right now. I'm convinced that T is going to get fed up with my anger very soon, it's always easy to say at the beginning of therapy when I'm very very careful to explain that I have an issue with anger and that the one thing I really need is for a T to accept and validate it, oh yeah fine no problem. But in reality, when T is faced with an endless litany of criticisms and complaints and lists of my unmet needs and wants, it becomes pretty obvious that he doesn't want to have to deal with it.

So yeah, I'm anticipating any session soon being told that I'm too much (of course T's aren't honest enough to say the truth, what he'll say is 'I can't help you'...)

Ugh and double ugh.

[angelicgoldfish05]

No I was too much for my ex-t. He dumped me.
And I continue to bleed my feelings out about it on this forum. Thanks for the great question. Sorry for the crappy response. A simple yes would have worked just fine.

Honestly, I think my ex-t didn't even want to entertain the idea that I still needed his help so desperately. After all, there's no good reason on earth that I would need therapy. So really, I kind of felt guilty about it. About even needing him or any therapy at all. I truly had a good life. Why do I deserve to be depressed when really there is just no good reason for it.

It's too much to handle when a normal person thinks they are depressed and want to die. It's too much to handle when they need you way too much when they have perfectly great supports outside of you and aside from you.

It's too much to handle when a person is so very selfish, and needy, greedy, and probably deep down, down right evil if you get at it. Probably even the scary kind. RUN the other way and don't look back. Or just never say goodbye and leave the person to always wonder. Like a lesson in learning the effects suicide would have on a person - how a person is just gone and there are no answers why and never will be. No closure cause how could there ever be closure for " connection formed in love can't be closed."

Idk I'm in a rotten mood about it all though. Add me to the burn pile. One more breadcrumb on the path to trace back. It's all for attention, and I'd appreciate not getting any of yours thanks.

[ScrewedUpMe]

I have thought this many times over the years I have seen T...I used to ask if her if she was going to give up on me etc. and she always assured me that she wouldn't. And she didn't. She has always been there.

I am planning on returning to T now after a break and working on some past trauma...I have BPD and can be pretty bad at my worst. I have never let T see this side of me and have controlled it well while in session. But now I want to go back and do it differently, being completely myself and open. I am going to ask T if she can handle me at my worst.

[Outcast_of_RGaol]

Originally Posted by emptyspace

.
Do you ever worry that you or "your issues" are too much for T?

That the more you tell, the more likely T is to realize they are not capable of handling it?
.
It's like I should have spilled everything up front, day one, and said "can you deal with this?"... instead of waiting to be too much.

How do you get past this feeling?

No... I feel like I'm too broken to fix, but I think that my psyche is well-balanced enough to deal with it. Furthermore, I think that he understands me/my issues and has the acuity to address them... it's just that I won't budge.

Still, I agree that we all should have started out as you say but then again I also think that when we're at that place when we think that we shoulda done this or that, it's evidence that we're growing. We've gained wisdom about holding back out of fear or some other obstacle.
It seems to me that you're doing good because now you can go to your T and ask just that question. I mean what's the worst that can happen? What if your T says, "Nope, I can't deal with those issues."?
Maybe you could ask, "Well, do you know somebody that can?"

I think that I am too much for my T, Maybe this is why she wants to terminate me.

[Lamplighter]

Originally Posted by angelicgoldfish05

No I was too much for my ex-t. He dumped me.
And I continue to bleed my feelings out about it on this forum. Thanks for the great question. Sorry for the crappy response. A simple yes would have worked just fine.

Honestly, I think my ex-t didn't even want to entertain the idea that I still needed his help so desperately. After all, there's no good reason on earth that I would need therapy. So really, I kind of felt guilty about it. About even needing him or any therapy at all. I truly had a good life. Why do I deserve to be depressed when really there is just no good reason for it.

It's too much to handle when a normal person thinks they are depressed and want to die. It's too much to handle when they need you way too much when they have perfectly great supports outside of you and aside from you.

It's too much to handle when a person is so very selfish, and needy, greedy, and probably deep down, down right evil if you get at it. Probably even the scary kind. RUN the other way and don't look back. Or just never say goodbye and leave the person to always wonder. Like a lesson in learning the effects suicide would have on a person - how a person is just gone and there are no answers why and never will be. No closure cause how could there ever be closure for " connection formed in love can't be closed."

Idk I'm in a rotten mood about it all though. Add me to the burn pile. One more breadcrumb on the path to trace back. It's all for attention, and I'd appreciate not getting any of yours thanks.

Ouch .

I know you specified no thanks, but I had to post a hug. I'm so sorry you're feeling so badly - and heaping coals on your own head about it . It's ok to talk about this on this forum, I hope you don't feel like you're being judged for what you're going through. Please feel welcome to PM me if you want to tell more of your story.

[Freewilled]

Much of the time, yes. Sometimes I get all like, "I'm doing the best I can so my T can just fing deal with it!" Lol That way feels much better to me. I swing between thinking I have no real reason to be going to see T and he probably is so bored and tired of me and T isn't going to be able to deal with my crap because I'm too ****ed up.

My ex-T terminated me and it left me feeling like my stuff wasn't important or I was beyond help. I didn't get a referral either. Yeah - it sucked and I'm still trying to work past it with current T a year in /: I will say that I believe I've made progress though.

[AllyIsHopeful]

Yes, all the time. And I've noticed the feelings have intensified after reading so many termination stories...

I think I worried about that more when I was much younger and much newer to therapy. At this point I don't worry about it at all. I'm a complicated case and at times I am certain I'm a great deal of work, but I don't for a minute think I'm more than my therapist or pdoc can handle. God knows, they've handled more than their share with me over the years, but they have always managed my care expertly no matter how complicated things have gotten.

I have the opposite worry, that my issues are not severe enough and that I am stealing T's time from people with actual problems. I worry that T secretly thinks that I'm whining too much about my pathetic stuff, and not working hard enough to change - I have been losing quite a bit of sleep over that recently.