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Elder
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: USA
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#1
I was wondering what people think and like in their Therapist's age in relation to their age. Do you like someone who is older or younger than you and by how much. My previous Individual and Group Therapists were 11 and 13 years older than me respectively and I think that I was able to mend with them both very well (even though the group therapy only lasted for a few months due to my differences with the other person in the group). My most recent Therapist before my current one was 4 years younger than me and I think that was a little too young for me so we broke off after only seeing each other for a few months. My current Therapist is 4 years older than me (which is actually the same difference in age from my last Therapist only she is 4 years older rather than 4 years younger) and while it is too early to say for sure I do think that we do have some good chemistry.
In contrast (and I mention this because I have a disability hearing scheduled in August) my Disability Lawyer actually graduated college before any Therapist who I have seen as an adult was even born (just to put her age in perspective, but of course with any type of lawyer you can be that choosy and really just have to go with whoever is willing to take your case), and I can tell you while I have a lot of respect for her for taking my case for so long (almost 4 years by the time I have my hearing in August) and I really hope that she can make a case for me at my next hearing I really don't feel the same type of connection as I have with any Therapist who I have seen as an adult, but at the same time with a lawyer I would (and I think that most other people would) want someone who has a number of years (or even decades) of experience under their belts. __________________ COVID-19 Survivor- 4/26/2022 Last edited by RTerroni; Apr 18, 2014 at 07:51 PM.. |
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#2
I prefer them older but the best one I've had is only 6 years older than me.
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Elder
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: USA
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#3
__________________ COVID-19 Survivor- 4/26/2022 |
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Grand Member
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Antarctic
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#4
My T is...30+ years older than me. I like that T is much older than me. It's comforting in some way, but not in a romantic or parent-y way. I don't know in what way really. We're just a good fit, I think.
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RTerroni
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2011
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#5
Mine is 5.5 years older. It is just right for me.
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Free to live
Member Since Jul 2011
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#6
my current T is only a few years older which is a change from previous T's who were mostly 25-40 years older ... not sure I'd want to have someone younger than me though as a T
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: USA
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#7
My T is somewhere around twice my age, give or take a few years. She has children that are about my age.
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Member
Member Since Oct 2011
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#8
My male T is 42 years older than me and I love it.
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#9
I once had an interim t who was younger than me. I couldnt listen to her i knew more, i had more life experience, and i just couldnt deal with that. I kept thinking, shes a KID. I didnt stay with her very long at all.
My t that i just love is 8 years older. Sorta like a big sister. |
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RTerroni
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Elder
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: USA
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#10
__________________ COVID-19 Survivor- 4/26/2022 |
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harvest moon
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2013
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#11
My therapist is ten or twelve years older than me. I feel like that's closer than I'd like but it works okay. I don't think I could have a T who was younger than me.
Maybe your different relationship with your lawyer has to do more with the fact that she's your lawyer than the fact that she's so much older than you. As I see it, one's relationship with a T and one's relationship with a lawyer are two very different things! |
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Elder
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: USA
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#12
Quote:
__________________ COVID-19 Survivor- 4/26/2022 |
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Grand Member
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Texas
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#13
My T is exactly 15 years older than me. We share a birthday.
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RTerroni
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: US
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#14
Mine is a bit younger than me. I haven't really had a problem with it and prefer it to the idea of someone who is my parents' age. I feel like he "gets" me - just with some things that I feel like an older person might not be able to understand as well. It is weird to notice any kind of parental transference, though /:
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Washington
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#15
My therapist is about 30 years older than I am. I like it. Helps the good enough mother/mentor dynamic as I feel she has enough life experience to have gained some wisdom, having done a long course of therapy and work on herself.
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Grand Member
Member Since Dec 2011
Location: Seattle, WA USA
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#16
I wouldn't want a T that is younger or close to me in age because then I would feel in competition mode the whole time. I would be trying to prove my intelligence during therapy.
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Comfy Sedation
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#17
my t is 10 yrs older than me. he is great. i am only 27 so i wouldnt want one younger than me
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2010
Location: USA
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#18
My T is 17 years older than me and that feels just about right. She is old enough that I feel a maternal connection with her, without being so much older that it's uncomfortable to talk about sex/relationships.
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Aloneandafraid
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#19
I think he's around 12 years older than me. Same generation anyway.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
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#20
T is about 21 years older than me. Recently I had to switch to a PCP that is younger than I am but about 17 years where as my previous one was about 12 years older. I find I have a harder time relating to the new one. We are in totally different stages of life and have had different life experiences. She doesn't have children yet so for her to tell me about parenting I know comes from the "book" where as previous PCP had the actual experience. So I often said if you child was going through this what would you do?? That meant a lot more to me than knowing what the books said. I feel the same way about T. While she hasn't experiences the thing I have she still can relate to the different stages of life...
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