[Petra5ed]

I have a feeling I cant be helped. Woke up this morning, have the same issues as I did years ago... the same issues. Feeling like I'd like to exit this existence. I don't want to intrude on my therapists life. I'm a burden to everyone.

[Leah123]

I'm so sorry. I know that awful "I'm still in the same place, nothing has changed" feeling. For me, it's feeling like I'm still as alone and disconnected as when I was a teenager, and it makes me want to just not exist anymore at moments.

This is the time to throw yourself into therapy. Give your therapist the message you just posted here. Embrace the things you love or that comfort you.

I hope the feeling passes swiftly!!! The feeling you have now is just a feeling, not necessarily a truth. You are, of course, not a burden to everyone, but uniquely valuable.

[HazelGirl]

You won't know if you don't stick it out. *Hugs* I hope you can get past this and keep going because you have the potential for a healed life.

[RTerroni]

Give it time and I think that things will smooth out.

[Perna]

I finally figured out in my 50s that one always has the "same" issues one had before; how could they change? My mother died when I was 3, how can I not have "mother" issues? We don't "get over" anything, we just learn different ways to perceive, to work with, more effective ways to struggle.

It takes a long time to change thoughts and behaviors, just as long as it takes to "grow" up? One does not expect a 5 year old to understand what a 25 year old does about life. But it takes all those 20 more years for that to be true. We forget that and think that just because we have arrived at 25 that we should know what "all" 25 year olds know, even though some piece might not have been part of our lives for that 25 years, might be a new concept we are just learning in therapy now. I was in therapy with the same therapist or working hard with myself for 27 years before I got to a better place regarding my mothering. But I did not start until I was nearly 30 so. . .

[Petra5ed]

Originally Posted by Leah123

For me, it's feeling like I'm still as alone and disconnected as when I was a teenager, and it makes me want to just not exist anymore at moments.

Yes, that is exactly the feeling. Thanks for your post. I think the trouble is I really am alone and disconnected from everyone and everything more than ever. I feel more lonely the older I get.

[Leah123]

There are, I am sure, many ways through that feeling, and one of them is time, it may ease that sense on its own. But another very powerful one is reaching out to others who need you. Are there children or peers or elderly in your community who are lonely, struggling emotionally, financially, or physically? Can you give them some of your time and attention? If you need to feel meaningful..... I have found that nothing makes meaning faster than volunteering.

I am sorry you're feeling so disconnected. It's a scary feeling in my experience and deeply disconcerting and upsetting. I hope you'll keep reaching out, including to your therapist. I hope too you'll indulge in things you love most, inspiring things, whether that's writing, gardening, cooking, etc.

Petra5ed,

Have you thought about making a major change in your life?

Like new job, new social circle, new travel, new residence city, new volunteer group, new hobby...I don't mean to say, yeah, change your behavior and you will feel better...no, not like that. But sometimes when you're in a rut, a major change can act as a catalyst for other change. Take off to Belize??? Just a thought. Hope it gets better for you soon.

[AllyIsHopeful]

You're not a burden. I'm sorry you feel stuck. Sometimes it is hard to realize many things that have changed for the better. I bet if you tell your T you are feeling this way, s/he can give you a long list of positive changes s/he has observed since you started therapy.

Hang in there.