[purplemystery]

My last session with my T before I graduate is a week from today. My T has given me a few gifts throughout the 3 years that I have been seeing her: simple, but very meaningful things. I would really love to reciprocate and show her how grateful I am for everything that she has done. Not going to lie: it also would comfort me to know that she will hold onto something from me.

I know a proper gift should come from the heart and be relevant to the relationship, but I'm having a hard time thinking of things. Does anyone have ideas? Have you ever given a termination gift? Or any gift, for that matter?

Here are my thoughts so far:
-a poem (but I'm not very good at writing poetry, and I know she does write poetry, so I'd be intimidated)
-a letter (I will definitely do this, but I'd like to give her another gift)
-a video that I could make

[RTerroni]

When I had my last session with a Therapist who I saw for four years I gave her a goodbye card with a very touching note inside.

[purplemystery]

Originally Posted by RTerroni

When I had my last session with a Therapist who I saw for four years I gave her a goodbye card with a very touching note inside.

That's a good idea. A card makes it a little more special than a letter, and it's something she could keep for a long time. Thanks for the suggestion, RTerroni.

Before my T moved out of state, I crocheted a doily that I then made into a bowl that I gave her, she loved it, and she still mentions it from time to time when we're having a phone session ie: "I'm sitting here at my desk looking at the bowl you made for me..." it always makes my heart feel warm when she says that.

[Parley]

I'm new to therapy so I'm not real sure what is and is not appropriate but I think some forget me not flowers would be nice. but i:m a selfish woman and would want her to plant them for a reason (if I were giving her a gift)

[purplemystery]

Originally Posted by artemis-within

Before my T moved out of state, I crocheted a doily that I then made into a bowl that I gave her, she loved it, and she still mentions it from time to time when we're having a phone session ie: "I'm sitting here at my desk looking at the bowl you made for me..." it always makes my heart feel warm when she says that.

Wow, that's really nifty and a great gift. It sounds like a thoughtful idea that your T really appreciated.

[tametc]

I gave my T a card, which was in his favorite colors. The inside read, "What can I say to someone who has done so much for me, who means so much to me, and who holds such a special place in my heart? All I can think of is, thank you, thank you, and thank you again." Since it was the last time I saw him (he had to quit his practice due to sudden and severe illness), I signed it, "Much love and many prayers."

I had given him small Christmas gifts over the years, such as crocheted, beaded snowflakes that he hung in a window in his office. Sometimes I gave him chocolate, because I knew he really liked it.

He always said something along the lines of it was very much appreciated, but completely unnecessary. I told him I knew that, and that if it were necessary for me to give him gifts, he'd never get any from me.

[AllyIsHopeful]

What are some things that remind you of your Therapist, or your time together? If there is anything that you have heard or seen that made her pop into your mind, or something that made you think of the relationship and time with her that made you feel warm and fuzzy, those would all be great things to consider.

[Mactastic]

When I ultimately terminate I plan to try and find a silver or brass acorn with a card. The acorn represents the seed he's given me as I learn to love myself.

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[withoutthelove_]

I knitted my T a coffee-cup cozy last Christmas, she loved it. I did ask in advance if she would like one, as I was experimenting with patterns.
It's on her favourite mug at her home, she tells me.

I always value handmade gifts over store-bought ones. The card/letter is a good idea, it allows an outlet for you to write all your truest thoughts before your final goodbye.

[Patagonia]

Do u have an art co op in your area? Something that is hand made that picked out is always nice.

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[purplemystery]

Originally Posted by Parley

I'm new to therapy so I'm not real sure what is and is not appropriate but I think some forget me not flowers would be nice. but i:m a selfish woman and would want her to plant them for a reason (if I were giving her a gift)

That is really interesting. I had never considered flowers before... hmm... I think she is the kind of person to like flowers and she probably has a garden, but I would feel a little worried about giving her something so permanent as to plant. But maybe even if I got her one single flower, that would be nice.

[purplemystery]

Originally Posted by tametc

He always said something along the lines of it was very much appreciated, but completely unnecessary. I told him I knew that, and that if it were necessary for me to give him gifts, he'd never get any from me.

Exactly! It's just something I really want to do to show her how much she has meant to me. I think the fact that it's unnecessary will make it that much more meaningful and surprising in a good way.

And I do like your idea of a card with a nice message. I'll have to browse Hallmark.

[purplemystery]

Originally Posted by AllyIsHopeful

What are some things that remind you of your Therapist, or your time together? If there is anything that you have heard or seen that made her pop into your mind, or something that made you think of the relationship and time with her that made you feel warm and fuzzy, those would all be great things to consider.

That is a good question... she always uses a lot of metaphors, so if I were to give something symbolic I think that would be a good idea. I also know that she likes tea and the color green. Hmm, I will have to see if I can come up with anything. Thanks AllyIsHopeful!

[venusss]

Are you somewhat artsy? what about making some trinket/talisman out of polymer clay? YOu can make some cool things out of it and it would be a small but personable gift.

Polymer clay - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[purplemystery]

Originally Posted by Mactastic

When I ultimately terminate I plan to try and find a silver or brass acorn with a card. The acorn represents the seed he's given me as I learn to love myself.

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Hi Mactastic, what a wonderful idea. I'm sure your T will love that. That inspired me to think of something with a seed and a tree because she has mentioned this metaphor to me before.

[Mike_J]

Not for termination but once for Christmas I gave my therapist a slinky, yea the thing that walks down stairs.

When I gave it to her she told me she couldn't accept gifts but asked if it was OK with me if she opened it to just see what it was. When she saw what it was and that it was so inexpensive she decided to keep it.

The reason I gave it to her, and the reason I think everyone should have one, is that they are GREAT for stress. Much better than a stress ball, holding it in your hands and just rocking it back and forth is very soothing.

And it does give me a good feeling thinking of her using it when she is stressed.

[rainbow8]

When I quit my first T, I gave her a card that I painted, with a personal poem inside. I like to express myself through art and writing, and am pretty good at it. I've written poems for all of my Ts, in fact.

If you're not artistic or crafty, what about a collage? You can make it personal with meaningful pictures from magazines about your therapy, or how you feel about yourself and life. It's fun to do, too! Then you could write a note to go with it!

I think Ts appreciate something homemade. I think most people would, actually. But if it's something especially fitting for the person, store-bought is okay too. I would add the note, too. My DBT teacher had tears in her eyes when she brought in some good-bye notes and cards that former clients had given her!

I'm sure that your T will love whatever it is you give her since it's coming from your heart!

[brillskep]

You could give her a card and write your thanks inside. Some cards are truly beautiful and meaningful and ad a nice touch to your handwritten message. Or you could give her a handmade card if you can make one yourself, or one custom-made for you (I'd suggest still handwriting your note, it's a nice personal touch).

I also want to say, as a poet myself, if a client gave me a poem as a thank-you gift I would appreciate it a lot even if it weren't my favorite style or very well-written. It's a truly beautiful gesture - especially from someone who doesn't normally do it but made an effort for me.

Those are really great gift ideas you already have. Good luck!

[junkDNA]

i give my T gifts. ive given him some stuffed animals for his office. he lets me name all of them. i gave him a mini bonsai tree once. i made some oragami for him. the things i give him are all in his office.

[clairelisbeth]

After Hurricane Sandy, NYC was in such a grey, dismal state. I brought my T and pdoc each a box of tea

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