[sweepy62]

As you may know, my h mom is receiving home hospice care, she can be rude manipulative, and lie at times, also, plays sweet victim lady around people.

Here it goes: my h was supposed to go to texas this sunday, since we have not left this house in 4 yrs. His brother is coming to see his mom from nyc, h was supposed to leave his brother and I, here for 4 days, but his brother, said he was afraid to deal with his moms illness, and I was not emotionally stable.

H, decided to leave to texas this past monday, leaving me here alone with her, im triggered by her ilness, dont sleep, high anxiety, and forgot my anxiety pills in his car. The social worker came yesterday reg visit, she knows my mental health background, she noticed I was anxious, I told her the situation and how all this triggers me. She said she would send extra people to help. Little did I know , when she left she called h, and chewed him out, said it was not in my best interest to leave me alone, with a terminal ill patient with my mental issues.

H has power of attorney, but I resent the social worker. My t thought I am left in a stressful situation, and we talked about how h should not have gone. There was an awkward 20 minutes where we just didnt know what to do, she called me out on avoiding stuff, so since I was reluctant to guided imagery, she took out her phone, and we did one together.

[HazelGirl]

The social worker is acting in your best interest, even if you don't want her to.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

The social worker is acting in your best interest, even if you don't want her to.

She was acting like if she was my t, she said my body language was not congruent with whatever blah blah

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

She was acting like if she was my t, she said my body language was not congruent with whatever blah blah

But she was probably right...

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

But she was probably right...

Yeah I guess, hey tomorrow is your big day.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

Yeah I guess, hey tomorrow is your big day.

Yes, it is. I am looking forward to it.

But don't deflect I do think what she did was in your best interest. No, she's not your T. But she is a T (social workers are trained in therapy), and it sounds like she knows a lot. Can you try to trust her decisions?

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

Yes, it is. I am looking forward to it.

But don't deflect I do think what she did was in your best interest. No, she's not your T. But she is a T (social workers are trained in therapy), and it sounds like she knows a lot. Can you try to trust her decisions?

Omg hazelgirl, you read me loud and clear donyou, lol yes I will try to see it from her point, just that she sounded and acted t, it got me pissed. All her attention was focused on me me me lol.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

Omg hazelgirl, you read me loud and clear donyou, lol yes I will try to see it from her point, just that she sounded and acted t, it got me pissed. All her attention was focused on me me me lol.

Lol, I understand where you're coming from. It's easy for me to get you.

[growlycat]

Are there confidentiality rules around social workers??? I think she acted in your best interests and was well meaning. I think I would be uncomfortable with one talking to my husband (if I had one) without consulting me first?

If it turns out to be helpful though, i'd let it go.

So sorry you are taking on the responsibilities of the whole family!

[sweepy62]

Thank you Growlycat this is my mother in laws social worker from hospice, not mine. I was pissed because she didn't tell me she was calling him to tell him about my current state. High anxiety triggered ect...- she asked me before she left if I would tell him my condition, I said no I would stick it out a couple of days.

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[unaluna]

So your h dumps it on you, and the mothers social worker calls him on it. Im sorry you got stuck in the middle like that. Really unfair to you.

[sweepy62]

Hankster, I know and to top it off the witch has been all bossy , since h has been gone. She is horrible and hard of hearing to top it off, and the cma who comes to give her shower, told her supervisor I yelled at my mother in law, I remember asking her 3 times if she was coming downstairs while the cna was present and she didn't hear, so I raised my voice.

I'm upset , h says I'm stressed for no reason and to let it go, after telling me he would take care of it.

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[anilam]

Well, I guess she thought you're not able to provide the care your MIL needs and in that case it's her job to contact your H, who has the power of an attorney, to inform him about it and, possibly, ask him to remedy this situation? In other words she acted in your MILs best interest.
Sorry you got stuck in the middle...

[sweepy62]

Yeah, she did, she was very kind, and had most of the attention focused on me, the thing thats bothering me here is, she should have told me, that she was going to inform h, not just walk out the door, like everything was ok now that she spoke to me, then I get a call from h, asking wtf is going on. Which of course, he knew better than to go on a jolly vacation to begin with.