[Jess113]

Went horribly. My dad was in there with me for at least half the session, and all he did was completely p*** me off. At least the rest of the sessions will be more one on one.
My dad just sat there talking about me like I was the worst person in the world and he was acting as though I didn't have any mental health problems; I'm just a rebellious teenager that needs to be put in my place.
Needless to say, I'm very hurt and angry right now. Hoping the next session goes better. Now I'm not even talking to my dad because I'm so angry at him for what he said. We'll start being cool again, but next week, I'm sure I'll be mad all over again.
Does this happen with anyone else, where going to therapy/counseling just totally makes you mad? Makes it hard to want to stick with it, even though I'm being forced to.
Okay, rant done.
-Jess

[someone321]

Does your Dad have to be there with you?? I would never go with any of my parent to the session... I hope that your T is a good one who will realize fast that your Dad should not be with you at sessions and that he apparently does not know you as well as he thinks so...

[pbutton]

I am so sorry. that would piss me off too.

on a side note, I love your avatar!

[Jess113]

Thank you guys...and no he doesn't have to be there with me, that was just an introductory type session i think. but all he did was insult me the whole time.
Am i really like that?...am i just self entitled and just...need to be knocked back into my "place"?...

[someone321]

Originally Posted by Jess113

Thank you guys...and no he doesn't have to be there with me, that was just an introductory type session i think. but all he did was insult me the whole time.
Am i really like that?...am i just self entitled and just...need to be knocked back into my "place"?...

No, i am sure you are not... I'd rather think that your Dad is scared and afraid and he wishes that this was the problem, that it could be so simple - just put you in your place and that's it, problem solved... But I guess that he knows that it is not the true and is afraid of it so he denies... But of course that might be the truth is apart from it his a good Dad - I don't know anything about your relationship, he might be also a very toxic parent...
But it's good that he won't be there with you during other sessions, it means that it really can be better And your T already knows how toxic your dad might be so you'd be able to work on that...

[Jess113]

He used to be toxic...meaning abusive.
Now he just always hurts me with his words.
Thanks for the kind words..

[someone321]

Originally Posted by Jess113

He used to be toxic...meaning abusive.
Now he just always hurts me with his words.
Thanks for the kind words..

I wouldn't say "just hurts with words" - emotional abuse might be very, very hurtful... I am really sorry that you have to go through this. On the other hand, I am glad that you've just started your therapy, I hope that you will work with your T how to set a good boundaries with your dad who apparently still is abusive...

[Jess113]

Idk...I really hope my dad won't be there because I can't talk about things with him there. Like the depression, which he thinks I'm making up, or cutting...which he thinks I'm doing for attention.
So essentially I'm not gonna get any help unless he isn't there. And I'm pretty sure he won't be (whew).

[HazelGirl]

Well, your T should be able to see that he is being so mean. T's are pretty good at picking up on those things, and will be able to help you.

[tinyrabbit]

I'm so sorry your dad has behaved like this and that he isn't taking things seriously. Depression IS real. If you're self-harming it's because you're in emotional pain and you need care and compassion. At least your T will have seen what your dad is like, which will save you having to explain.

I have a suggestion for you. If you wanted, you could tell your T that you don't want your dad to come in with you (either ring them, or wait until you two are alone in the room together) and ask your T to insist he stays out of your sessions and to pretend it's their idea?

You're not "self-entitled" and what you need is to be valued, listened to, and given space and understanding. Your dad sounds a lot like mine and I'm sorry. Your feelings matter, and your dad is wrong.

[Espresso]

I'm sorry it went so badly. I sincerely hope things will get worked out and it will go better in the future.

The good news here is that the therapist got to see your dad in action so to speak (which may very well be why he wanted him in the room). My T has often said that rarely is a person's issues isolated to themselves. So often the dynamics between spouses, family members, etc. are what is truly telling.

I would talk to your therapist about not having your father in session with you from now on, and if the therapist should think it necessary at some point, what can and should be done so that you feel safe. That would be an important conversation to have next time you see him.

I have sat in on some of my son's sessions at our therapist's request for various reasons, but generally our T has me there to listen, not to talk. To hear and learn . . . it isn't a gripe session. He'd never allow that. Fortunately, my son and I have a very good relationship and have no problem asking the other to leave the room if that is what we need.

Your dad clearly doesn't have that kind of a filter or respect at this point. I'm sure your therapist caught on to that and will address those problems soon.