[GenCat]

So I took the first step and talking to my T about me possibly being a lesbian. And the WHOLE I got vibes that T was very uncomfortable. It was hard for me because T is a Christian and I wasn't sure how she would take it. That being said, what is your opinion on Ts that dislike counseling the LGBT community? Should they have a right to their own opinion or should they terminate the client?

[HazelGirl]

That would depend on the T. Just don't "mind read" and assume that she is uncomfortable or anything. It's possible that's what you were anticipating and so that's what you picked up on, whether it's reality or not. Not all Christians are against the LGBT community, and many many more might be against it morally, yet also see members as fellow human beings and treat them with respect and dignity regardless.

[yang0868]

Wow!! That shocks me. I would think that a therapist would be more emphatic and open minded. On top of that, keep their religious convictions out of the room. Your therapy is about you, not what your therapist believes in. Perhaps her/his clinical interest, focus, or training was not in sexual orientation and/or gender identity matters but still it's no excuse for the "uncomfortable" reaction. In any case, I'm sorry that your T came across as being uncomfortable.

Yes they have a right to their own opinion but not in therapy. A therapeutic one at least. If your T were to push his/her believes on to you, I say run as fast as you can.

IMO, if a therapist were to terminate a client over being uncomfortable with the LGBT community then why the heck are they a therapist in the first place?

You deserve better. Can you talk to your T about him/her coming across as being uncomfortable with your sexual orientation disclosure? I encourage you to talk to your T about this asap. Sometimes I've missed read my T and when I check in with her, it was just my mind playing games with me.

[Parley]

I believe a therapist has a right to terminate anyone for any reason. I do not believe a Christian therapist would terminate based on a persons sexuality. I know it happens but hateful christians are hypocrites. As a Christian she can have an opinion about sexuality as well as accept others for their life choices.
I wonder if she is worried about your confusion with "possible be a lesbian" and your transference? Hopefully yall can work it out.

[growlycat]

Is this T specifically a Christian therapist or a therapist that happens to be Christian?

IMHO if a T can't keep judgement out of the therapy room then they have no right to practice.

[tametc]

If a T has an issue with this, the ethical thing to do would be to give the client a referral.

[grimtopaz]

Congratulations on taking a big step.

Coming out to my T as bi was very stressful and emotional to me. Prior to coming out, I had mistaken her "indifference" to same-sex relationships as her being uncomfortable, but when I confronted her about it, she told me that it was such a non-issue to her, she didn't make much of it.

A lot of things she said/did which I interpreted as being "uncomfortable" was actually a projection of my own discomfort.

If I may ask, how did you come out to her? And what did she say/do that made you think she was uncomfortable?

While Christians are likelier than secular folks to have "issues" with LGBT folks, there are lots of open-minded Christians and closed-minded secular individuals. The best thing you can do is be direct and ask her if she feels uncomfortable or was surprised by your disclosure.

Therapists can essentially terminate with any client at any point in time for whatever reason. They are required to facilitate a transfer/referral and provide adequate closure/termination counseling.

Originally Posted by GenCat

So I took the first step and talking to my T about me possibly being a lesbian. And the WHOLE I got vibes that T was very uncomfortable. It was hard for me because T is a Christian and I wasn't sure how she would take it. That being said, what is your opinion on Ts that dislike counseling the LGBT community? Should they have a right to their own opinion or should they terminate the client?

[Rive.]

To my mind, a T should be open-minded and leave judgments at the door. If they're not tolerant, then I wouldn't consider that person a (good) therapist... merely a run of the mill prejudiced human being.

That being said, I would still broach the topic with her and ascertain her position on the whole gay/lesbian issue. You say you had a 'vibe' which is merely a subjective impression. Better get the facts (i.e. objectivity) from the horse's mouth so to speak!

[tinyrabbit]

Are you sure your T disapproved? You say you got vibes but in therapy we often misread things.

For the record I'm a Christian, I want to train as a T one day and I would have no issue with a client being of any sexuality whatsoever.

[Favorite Jeans]

This is so tricky because many of us who have known a lot of disapproval and non-acceptance read that into people's reactions even when it's not there. On the other hand, homophobia is not some rare phenomenon that we come up against every once in a great while. There are lots and lots of homophobic T's out there and many more who are not educated about sexuality in general and seemingly not very curious to learn more. I'm with everyone who has suggested that you check with her and ask her to tell you plainly what her ideas and thoughts about this are.

[AllyIsHopeful]

No matter what T's reaction was, it is good you were able to bring it up. It takes courage... Especially during a time where you are still trying to figure this all out. It is highly possibly you felt uncomfortable (going by other threads you posted on the matter) and you projected that discomfort during the session. That may be why you perceived her reaction as "feeling uncomfortable".
It is also possible she was mirroring your body language, facial expressions, tone, and energy. My Therapist is big on mirroring and at times does it intentionally, but other times is not aware of it.

Whatever the case may be, I hope she wasn't showing genuine discomfort and that she ends up being completely accepting of you, no matter what. I agree it is important to address this concern next time you see her.

[brillskep]

Well, it's a sensitive issue. The ideal T would work well with anything, but there is no ideal T. I hope for your sake that what you thought you noticed was just an impression or misunderstanding, but you may as well be right. I don't think it's a religious thing necessarily, as I know many Christian therapists who understand the LGBT community and relate to them and work with them just like they would with someone straight. But some have other beliefs, attitudes, and they may feel uncomfortable with the LGBT community, it's true. It's not ideal, but everyone has their limits, even therapists. I think a good therapist will either work on their issues around this or refer you. Whatever you do, don't let anyone try to "treat"you of your sexual orientation. I know some therapists still do that and it is unethical, unscientific, and, as far as I know, even harmful. So take care of yourself and, if you feel like your T is uncomfortable, you might want to tell her a bit about your concerns.

[IndestructibleGirl]

I think what could also play a part is that if the Christian people you have mixed with in the past have held an attitude of discomfort or hostility towards anything other than heteronormativity.

I still always feel a slightly surprised delightedness when I come across people who identify as Christians, but have no issue with LGBTQ relationships. That's because my background included a very traditional form of Catholicism.

So perhaps bear this in mind when you are talking with your T? That really it might mean nothing bad or problematic to her at all?

While they of course are entitled to their own opinions generally speaking, any forms of bigotry do not belong in the therapy room, and if she is ill-at-ease because of your sexuality then imo that is not acceptable, and offensive.

However. If I remember right - are you the poster who a while back, went dancing with you therapist? And - again if I remember right - there was an odd moment where you danced together or she hugged you or something, and you were questioning if that was appropriate? Are you attracted to her/ do you believe she is attracted to you?

[stopdog]

I have been out for 30 some odd years. I usually tell a prospective therapist that I am lesbian during the first phone interview. I ask if it is a problem. I screen out those who identify with a religion on their web page and often find the ones left indicate they are lgbt friendly too.
I am not struggling with my identity or anything like that, so my being a lesbian itself rarely comes up as an issue - it is simply part of me.
If you like this particular therapist, then I would talk to them more about it.

[Depletion]

I personally I have a zero tolerance policy for T's who are not safe for LGBTQ people, or kink people. I had a very bad experience with trying to discuss kink once in therapy and the therapist not accepting it. It was very traumatic. I think that T's are obligated to be open minded about sex, and sexual orientation. It is all too likely that a client will have issues related to their sexuality. If the can't handle it they should refer.

That being said. I would see if you can't get a better read on your T. See if you can find out how she really feels. Maybe she didn't react much because she didn't want you to be uncomfortable. I think that its worth finding out. If coming out is something you need to discuss with your T, and she's not open, I say you find a new one.