[Wysteria]

transference

in psychotherapy, the unconscious tendency to assign to others in one's present environment feelings and attitudes associated with significance in one's early life, especially the patient's transfer to the therapist of feelings and attitudes associated with a parent

In psychoanalysis, the process by which emotions associated with one person, such as a parent, unconsciously shift to another, especially to the analyst.

http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Transference+(psychology)

Transference is a phenomenon characterized by unconscious redirection of feelings from one person to another. One definition of transference is "the inappropriate repetition in the present of a relationship that was important in a person's childhood."[1] Another definition is "the redirection of feelings and desires and especially of those unconsciously retained from childhood toward a new object."[2] Still another definition is "a reproduction of emotions relating to repressed experiences, especially of childhood, and the substitution of another person ... for the original object of the repressed impulses."[3] Transference was first described by Sigmund Freud, who acknowledged its importance for psychoanalysis for better understanding of the patient's feelings

http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/Transference+(psychology) from Wikipedia


I see this term bantered around a lot in this forum...kind of casually. I wondered if it weren't time to really look at what it is and what it is not.

Every time we feel some connection or warmth or healing...does not mean it is transference does it??
It is just part of the therapeutic relationship. If we trust our T and he is Trustworthy and keeps the proper boundaries, our relationships with them can be great safe place to learn how to relate to people in our real lives.

I see NO similarities between my T and anyone else I have ever met. EVER! It is confusing and frustrating, but nothing he does matches my experiences of hurt, abandonment, neglect, or abuse. But that's just my opinion and experiences.....

I wondered how others see and think and feel about transference and what it entails.
Would love to hear all your thoughts...

Respectfully,
- Wysteria Blue

[HazelGirl]

I agree. I think transference and attachment are really mixed up.

My attachment feelings for my T are: caring, reliability, warmth, compassion, etc...

My transference feelings are: fear, anxiety, rejection, abandonment, feeling like she will hurt me, ect...

Two completely different sets of feelings.

[stopdog]

Frankly I think therapists bandy it around in order to distance themselves from clients. I have not found therapists to use the term consistently.

I would like to hope my feelings are more than just simply transference. I feel like they're both, but I also do have attachment problems.

“I’m good at loving books. I’m good at loving soft bed sheets. I’m good at loving coffees and teas. I am good at loving things that can’t love me back, that don’t have the power to leave. And maybe, that’s why I love them.”

[JustShakey]

Transference is your way of relating to the world. It's the patterns you learn to follow as you 'play the game'. Your rulebook, so to speak. It's everywhere, not just in therapy. It's just a lot easier to see in therapy b/c the therapist is trained to keep their transference out of the equation as much as possible. If anyone is familiar with the concept of chromatography, it's similar to that kind of 'separating out'. To me anyway...

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[kororain]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

I agree. I think transference and attachment are really mixed up.

My attachment feelings for my T are: caring, reliability, warmth, compassion, etc...

My transference feelings are: fear, anxiety, rejection, abandonment, feeling like she will hurt me, ect...

Two completely different sets of feelings.

But why are the "good" emotions attachment, while the "bad" emotions are transference? Would both good and bad emotions be transference if they were associated with a parent?

I mean, like, my parents weren't pure evil or anything. They had good qualities too. So an example would be maybe my mom could be warm, but also create anxiety and feelings of rejection. Wouldn't both be transference if related to a parent... purely by definition?

I don't think it's as cut and dried as positive/negative.

[musinglizzy]

THanks for posting this. being new here, and seeing the word for the first time, I was curious. I still don't quite "get it," even after looking it up. My understanding is, perhaps...say you had a rotten childhood and an abusive mother, and you have spent your life trying to "find" what you missed out on. I thought perhaps Transference was where, in a situation like that, you see your therapist as that mother figure....in a way, crossing over that t/patient boundary. Am I even close?

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by kororain

But why are the "good" emotions attachment, while the "bad" emotions are transference? Would both good and bad emotions be transference if they were associated with a parent?

I mean, like, my parents weren't pure evil or anything. They had good qualities too. So an example would be maybe my mom could be warm, but also create anxiety and feelings of rejection. Wouldn't both be transference if related to a parent... purely by definition?

I don't think it's as cut and dried as positive/negative.

That's not the case for everyone, just me. Sorry if I was unclear.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

THanks for posting this. being new here, and seeing the word for the first time, I was curious. I still don't quite "get it," even after looking it up. My understanding is, perhaps...say you had a rotten childhood and an abusive mother, and you have spent your life trying to "find" what you missed out on. I thought perhaps Transference was where, in a situation like that, you see your therapist as that mother figure....in a way, crossing over that t/patient boundary. Am I even close?

You're exactly right. It can either mean you fear the therapist will be like your abusive mother, or you idealize the therapist to "make up" for your abusive childhood.

[OneWorld]

My understanding is that it is when you make assumptions about someone based on your past interactions with other people.

I don't think it's every time you think your T is hot. lol


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Lauliza]

I do think transference is often used as a blanket term for attachment or any feelings we have for our T, especially when it's erotic transference. It's more complicated, especially when taken out of the context of psychoanalysis where the T was a "blank slate", and they could become whoever the client wanted them to be.

When it is parental in nature I think it might be more likely to be true transference. When the attachment is not so clearly linked to someone in the family then I think it must be hard to differentiate from just pure feelings of affection. I also agree that some Ts resort to using the term as a way to distance themselves from any attachment a client might have. By labeling it transference it keeps it clinical and less personal.

[musinglizzy]

Ok, that makes sense. I am VERY thankful that, although I don't know my father, I never went around "looking" for one. In fact, I really wasn't all that comfortable with men at all through most of my growing up and early adulthood.

[musinglizzy]

You know....it really could be dangerous being a T if you think about it. So many people get attached... and if some of those people are really off the wall to the point of being dangerous..... just sayin'.... I don't think I could handle that job. But I have found it so interesting to see how may T's became such and have such interesting stories themselves of trauma, just plain weirdness.... I wonder how many T's actually have T's of their own.

A friend of mine recently told me a story...she had a couple of suicide attempts when she was much younger. She'd been forced into therapy after the first one. She and this T had a close relationship....and worked together a long time. Then my friend (this was all before I knew her) had another attempt, and her t took it so hard she ended up in therapy herself. Like she felt guilt for not being able to stop it. (off topic, sorry!)

[Petra5ed]

The different kinds of talk therapy (Freudian, Jungian, Gestalt, etc) have somewhat different definitions of transference, which is probably what makes it so confusing. But, for each of them transference is the foundation of psychotherapy. How they define transference you could say also defines their approach to psychotherapy.

I would think of transference as the idea that how you processed your past shapes how you react in the present, it happens with everyone all the time, therapy or not, and the feelings are 100% real. As an example, assume I've been teased my whole life for being overweight to the point it becomes traumatic, I enter therapy depressed and anxious and I fear the therapist thinks I'm fat, this recurring fear theme will come up time and again in the therapy. Another example that is slightly different, let's say I had abusive parents and when I become attached to my therapist I ask him to come to my college graduation and he says he cant, I am devastated beyond a normal amount about this. In this case it is underlying needs from my past that are maybe still haunting me. I needed and craved a parent who was proud of me, that need was not fulfilled so now as an adult I am still in search of people who can fulfill this need for me.

Anyways, transference feelings are real feelings, i.e. if you fall in love with your T then you fall in love with your T, it's not fake in any way. When I see transference I read that as short hand for meaning "feelings about your therapist." A therapist just happens to be in a prime spot to be the subject of all these feelings, because their empathy and caring can mimic a person you are family with or in a relationship with, and they are hopefully not talking about themselves all the time (reminding you they are not your parent LOL). So, your unconscious wants to fit your T in somewhere, it's a human thing we all do, and starts ascribing feelings, assumptions, etc. Without transference there could be no therapy, you need the feelings conjured up in the present to heal the past, or so they say.

[Wysteria]

I love Petra's answer...thank you....

I don't see them as good or bad feelings nor do I see transference as "bad"...it is a pattern of emotional responses...

For me it has showed up as waiting for T to yell at me...or waiting for him to fire me or send me somewhere else.. Responses I'm used to. Or if I raise my voice that he would yell at me or hit me.

On the other hand, he is always there, never has yelled at me, is protective and SAFE. Totally boggles my mind. He is teaching me that men can be safe and trustworthy....

Some women can only get what they want if they use sex or flirt or whatever...this relationship allows them to learn better ways to communicate and bond...

Just still thinking out loud..
Just don't want to think of either transference or emotions or people as "Bad"...

wb

[kororain]

Totally makes sense, Petra. Thanks! I know I have those types of feelings with co-workers all the time. I just don't/haven't allowed T to get that close.

[Aloneandafraid]

This is scary! I think I understand now what I want or need but also what I can't have.

[junkDNA]

transference happens to everyone whether they are in therapy or not. its a natural phenomenon. its not confined to the therapy rooms

[Brightheart]

To me, it's about responding to a person in the present in a way you have responded to another person from your past, and expecting that the person in the present is behaving or responding/feeling as the person from your past did.

I think it happens in every relationship, though may be more intense in psychotherapy.

I don't think it means anything really. I do think therapists use the word sometimes in a manipulative manner to encourage dependence on them most likely to get more money.

I've never had a therapist even use the word with me. It isn't the focus in therapy in all modalities or for all clients. I find transference in my life isn't directed toward my therapist at all, but I see it arise in certain other situations.

I do tend to think it gets used too broadly on PC to describe any and all feelings (I've even seen some pretty much define it as that quite regularly). It is good to see the actual definition being discussed.

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by 1914sierra

I've never had a therapist even use the word with me. It isn't the focus in therapy in all modalities or for all clients. I find transference in my life isn't directed toward my therapist at all, but I see it arise in certain other situations.

I do tend to think it gets used too broadly on PC to describe any and all feelings (I've even seen some pretty much define it as that quite regularly). It is good to see the actual definition being discussed.

I have also never had therapist or pdoc use the term with me either. I've heard it in school a lot when going over different therapeutic approaches but that's it. I do think it's used a lot here on PC when it really just means we like (or dislike) our T. Like others have said, it's present in all relationships in one way or another. It just gets over analyzed when it's related to therapy.

[Wysteria]

thanks for all the replies..please keep adding to the discussion...

Indeed, like Sierra said, I've seen it used in so many situations where I wasn't sure it was the correct word, and since words are so important to me, wanted to find out what it meant to everyone here...

- wb

[grimtopaz]

As defined by Freud, transference is an unconscious process in which the client projects an earlier relationship onto the therapist.
More contemporary approaches also consider it to be a reflection of the present relationship between the therapist and client (a joint product).

The more "modern" view is that transference involves two components, 1) the "real" therapeutic alliance, meaning you are responding to the therapist as a person, the therapist is responding to you, and this creates a relationship (like all other relationships). And 2) "projections" or "schemas" (if they are a CBT therapist), essentially, it is a common pattern you have internalized (usually in childhood) that guides your relationships and expectations. For example, if you felt abandoned by your parents, you might expect your therapist to abandon you, and act accordingly.

A lot of therapists, when you dislike them, or you like them "too much", will blame it on "transference". While sometimes it is true that you are responding to your therapist as if he/she were a figure from your life, I think most of the time you are reacting to their personality or them as a person. That is, there are therapists you will really "click with" and others you will dislike. This can be due to their values, personality traits, therapeutic style, etc.

Most therapists informally use the term "transference" to encompass the entirety of the patient's feelings toward the therapist - for example, say "positive transference" if the patient likes them and there therapeutic-alliance is strong. "Countertransference" is informally use to encompass the entirety of the therapist's feelings toward the patient. E.g. "positive countertransference" is a fancy way of saying the therapist likes the patient.

Countertransference, in particular unusually strong countertransference for the therapist, informs the therapists about how people in the patient's life might react to them.

Originally Posted by puzzle_bug1987

I don't think it means anything really. I do think therapists use the word sometimes in a manipulative manner to encourage dependence on them most likely to get more money.

My ex therapist never used it once, except in response to an email I sent regarding a Posting on PC. And, she never used it again. Maybe that's one of the reasons why my therapy ended in 18 months.