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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2013
Posts: 1,654
10 804 hugs
given |
#1
So I went to my 'closure' session on Tuesday. It was actually quite good in a way, and now I don't know if it I will finish, or keep going a while longer. My head's in a spin. I don't know if I'm right or wrong, old T said several times that if people don't respond to me in the way I exactly want then I get on my high horse and cut them out, and don't want what they're offering. I know there is a grain of truth in that, but I don't know if she's being fair. She also told me how much money she had spent to hire the room for all the free therapy, and I felt uncomfortable at this being used to prove that she cares. And said it was fine for the PA to be copied into emails because she has a psychology background
![]() I had a session with a possible new T this evening. She was nice, and I liked her ![]() I am very happy at the minute (overall) but I also am quite distinctly alone in terms of intimate emotional relationships. If I focus on how alone I am, I rapidly feel miserable and worry about what is wrong with me, and crave stuff I used to have like sleeping entwined with a loved one. But if I just focus on how good my days are, well, then I am genuinely happy and content ![]() I also wonder about vulnerability. I can't be vulnerable, it took old T and I months of intensive block therapy to get to the brink of being vulnerable - when I think some really good work could have happened, but didn't because of our rupture - and I can't see myself being able to get to that point with the new woman, seeing her once a week, no contact in between. I think I would really value seeing her as someone to talk to and be supported, but I don't think I can do life-changing work anymore. Am I running away from doing the work, or does it sound like I am at a good time to take a break and not worry about therapy for a while? __________________ Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I I got a war in my mind ~ Lana Del Rey How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone ~ Coco Chanel One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman ~ Simone de Beauvoir |
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![]() Aloneandafraid, Bill3, CantExplain, RTerroni
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Big Poppa
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 19,616
(SuperPoster!)
12 19.7k hugs
given |
#2
Quote:
It did not end well. ![]() __________________ Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
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![]() Favorite Jeans, IndestructibleGirl
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: In my head
Posts: 1,787
10 1,825 hugs
given |
#3
It sounds like they're all good choices IG. If you take a break, you can go back. If you start with a new T and then realize it's not progressing the way you want it to, you can take a break. Your days are genuinely good and you have good people in your life. That's pretty cool. The fact that you don't currently have in an intimate partner (but wish you did) is likely not a reflection of how anything is wrong with you. It's just how it happens to be at the moment. I'm glad you're in such a good place.
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![]() Aloneandafraid, IndestructibleGirl, unaluna
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2013
Posts: 1,654
10 804 hugs
given |
#4
Thank you
![]() __________________ Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I I got a war in my mind ~ Lana Del Rey How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone ~ Coco Chanel One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman ~ Simone de Beauvoir |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2011
Location: in her own dark fairytale
Posts: 3,086
13 435 hugs
given |
#5
Honestly...your T may have made some good points but telling you how much the "free" therapy actually cost her, doesn't demonstrate how much she cares, it demonstrates that she's really just not getting the concept of boundaries or ethics. Also her CC'ing the P.A in on your emails is total B.S!! I don't care if she has a psychology background, a doctorate or rules the world. You did NOT give your permission for anyone to seen your correspondence and therefore she has breached confidentiality.
I think you need to either have a break from therapy since you're in a good place or find a new therapist who can meet your needs. __________________ INFP Introvert(67%) iNtuitive(50%) iNtuitive Feeling(75%) Perceiving(44)% |
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![]() Bill3
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![]() Bill3, Favorite Jeans, IndestructibleGirl, likelife
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2013
Posts: 1,654
10 804 hugs
given |
#6
Quote:
![]() __________________ Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I I got a war in my mind ~ Lana Del Rey How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone ~ Coco Chanel One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman ~ Simone de Beauvoir |
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![]() Bill3
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![]() Asiablue, Bill3
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Cosmic Creeper
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 2,080
11 1,229 hugs
given |
#7
It took my t 7 years to break through my armor and find my vulnerability and it's probably created the best work that could happen in all that time.
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Elder
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 5,248
10 91 hugs
given |
#8
It's also illegal and breaks confidentiality. She could lose her license for something like that. And how do you know it hasn't happened at another time?
__________________ HazelGirl PTSD, Depression, ADHD, Anxiety Propranolol 10mg as needed for anxiety, Wellbutrin XL 150mg |
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