[Jeans and a T-Shirt]

I'm in trauma therapy right now, and it's the first time I've worked with these experiences in particular. Sometimes, when I feel like my T is nudging me to a discovery etc... it makes me angry. I can tell when she is doing it. Same body language, intonation, word choice and so on. Is it healthy for me to ask that I prefer she just share what she is thinking? Sometimes, it's a lot more triggering when I can sense that she's trying to guide me somewhere, but won't share. She has several degrees, so I find it unlikely that she truly is 'just thinking.' Obviously, it angers me, and it's something I'm not sure how to approach. I'm trying really, really hard, and I'm just asking that my T offer her thoughts. Any feedback, suggestions, thoughts, experiences? Anything is appreciated, truly.
JTS

[Leah123]

I've done a lot of trauma work too, hard stuff, hope you're taking good care of yourself.

My suggestion, based on experience and reading a lot of these posts is to give your therapist what you typed above and talk it through with her. Being direct and honest is the key to success.

[Jeans and a T-Shirt]

Thanks, Leah. Your feedback is really good support.

[Favorite Jeans]

Just tell her what you said here. Sometimes T's have ways of speaking or dealing with issues that are frankly irritating. It is triggering to get the sense that T has a hidden agenda especially if you were raised not to question authority or were not allowed to name your feelings or have questions about anyone else's. She might think that her subtlety is helpful in allowing you to move at your own pace. You can tell her that, on the contrary, it makes you anxious and uneasy.

[unaluna]

I have told my t outright that he is very bad at lying. He doesnt give me the satisfaction of admitting he was lying, but he does stop whatever stupid thing he is doing.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by hankster

I have told my t outright that he is very bad at lying. He doesnt give me the satisfaction of admitting he was lying, but he does stop whatever stupid thing he is doing.

Stopdog would approve!

[Freewilled]

I think I have this problem with my T, too. But he refuses to tell me wtf is going on. I haven't asked directly enough though, I guess (?) Like I told him I felt angry because he seems to know stuff that i am not getting debriefed on basically and he keeps saying it's ok that I feel angry

Idk.....frustrating! It can't hurt to try to ask directly for what you want.

[coolibrarian]

Tell your T what you've just told us. T could be totally unaware of what signals her body is sending. OR, you may be misinterpreting her non-verbal behavior. In any case, you can't read her mind, so ask her about it. Tell her what you think she is "saying" to you, and tell her that you are hurt.

[Wysteria]

Dear Jeans....

I know this may sound a little weird...but at one point my T was going to do some Trauma work, I think it was called ITT or something or another. Anyway, when he got to a certain point, he was taking notes and he was reading so called "neutral" questions...questions that had been professionally developed not to interfere with the memories or my feelings and recollections. The problem was that I know how my T speaks...and it was not his words....and it felt like lying to me. I got terribly angry and upset and frustrated. I don't understand, as I know it is just T, but it wasn't. I finally told him how angry and false it felt and how I felt like he was lying.

We found another therapy methodology that helped in other ways....

T's have to flexible or sometimes send us to other T's to do certain types of trauma work or whatever. If your T really cares and is not doing it for their own ego...they will adjust or change.

Gentle hugs and good luck. It is indeed hard work...

WB

[Perna]

Sounds like your T's shift is distracting for you. When my T did that I would just redouble my efforts to think about what I was doing/saying, etc. I protested over a method, like Wysteria, but our discussion didn't get resolved and I realized my T thought her method would work and, since I didn't have any better suggestion/understanding of how it could work, I decided to do it "her" way, even though it was rote/felt ugly. Over time, it did help as I was wholly lacking that skill at all so kind of had to learn it by rote at first? I still fall back on it now when I am not doing well in that area. Maybe ignore/jump over the appears-to-be-guiding part and take your time to see what you can see on your own without T's help. Start talking out loud what you are feeling/thinking as you work forward and maybe she will say something helpful or directive so you don't feel so alone and like there's something you don't know about yourself that she does?

[Wysteria]

Originally Posted by Perna

Sounds like your T's shift is distracting for you. When my T did that I would just redouble my efforts to think about what I was doing/saying, etc. I protested over a method, like Wysteria, but our discussion didn't get resolved and I realized my T thought her method would work and, since I didn't have any better suggestion/understanding of how it could work, I decided to do it "her" way, even though it was rote/felt ugly. Over time, it did help as I was wholly lacking that skill at all so kind of had to learn it by rote at first? I still fall back on it now when I am not doing well in that area. Maybe ignore/jump over the appears-to-be-guiding part and take your time to see what you can see on your own without T's help. Start talking out loud what you are feeling/thinking as you work forward and maybe she will say something helpful or directive so you don't feel so alone and like there's something you don't know about yourself that she does?

I'll bet Perna is really correct here. Perhaps I should have pushed harder to learn the method or ignore the words to learn the thinking pattern better....
Good luck..

WB