[JaneC]

I was thinking about all the stuff I wrote in the thread about talking to T about sex, and started to panic about whether I would ever be able to tell him.

So I got the great idea to copy my posts and email them to him!!! Oh gaaaawwd! I revealed too much!!!!! What is he going to think????

I asked if he could try to help me by talking about how we will talk about it all. Oh dear, now I'm going to stress until I see him on Friday. It's Tuesday eve here.

What on earth was I thinking??

Just asking for some support to calm my crazy nerves now please. Please?

[Raging Quiet]

I'm sure you feel crazy nerves, but it may be a really useful tool to help in the next session. I know you feel nervous, but therapy is all about vulnerability and facing the issues that make you anxious. I hope he is supportive and empathic when you next see him on Friday. Remember to breathe.

[someone321]

Usually my best sessions are after sending an e-mail which I regret afterwards, so I hope it will be also the case for you
I'm sure that you can recall a situation when you felt really anxious about something before the session but at the end it was not as bad as you expected? Why wouldn't it happen on Friday? You were honest and took the courage and I am sure your T will appreciate it... Of course talking about it won't be extremely pleasurable but for sure it will be important and if there is a chance that it will help you, it's certainly worth to try...

[melania]

Someday you will need to talk about it. As sooner as better.
When you will told everything you will feel better after this

[Aloneandafraid]

Hi Jane. I feel for you. I relate too as I texted my T last night and disclosed some stuff that happened to me. I haven't told her or anyone. I was hoping she would acknowledge my text immediately but she didn't - it took her 18 hours to acknowledge my text and then she just said "see you tomorrow". I am now freaking out.

Why did I tell her (I feel horrible)
She obviously thinks it isn't serious otherwise she would have responded sooner
She probably thinks I am making it all up
She didn't enquire whether I was okay/safe (it was about abuse)

I feel .... I don't know - just why did i let myself become so vulnerable?
I have let myself be vulnerable with one other woman (mother figure) before and she abandoned me and told me to see this T.

She thinks I am a victim choosing to stay in this situation. She says we all have choices. But I feel I dont.

I am sorry to hijack your thread. It just resonated with me very much.

Sorry. x

[NowhereUSA]

I tend to brain-dump in e-mails to my therapist. When I first started, I freaked out but now I've gotten more comfortable and it's been helpful for him. He hardly ever responds unless it's a) a scheduling/administrative thing I can't get handled through the normal means or b) it's something that directly pertains to something he said/did in therapy and even then it always ends with "We can talk about this in session, see you X".

I know he just prefers to see me in person and every time I'm freaking out he's always very disarming and has this great way of just taking it all in stride. I know it's not easy but i think it's good to remember that a skilled therapist isn't going to judge you but help you process things.

i love therapy for this reason. I can go there and say all the things and his boat doesn't get rocked. It helps too for me to know that my therapist has consults and a supervisor and even goes to therapy himself so i know that he's being taken care of so he can handle my ****.

I'll bet if you felt that comfortable sending that info to your t, your t is the same way.

[Bill3]

(((((JaneC)))))

[CameraObscura]

I'm betting it will be just fine, and your therapist will appreciate your openness, and it will help your therapy move forward.

I completely understand the crazy nerves after hitting send, though. Do things that make you happy, and remember to breathe. All will be well.

[JaneC]

Originally Posted by Aloneandafraid

Hi Jane. I feel for you. I relate too as I texted my T last night and disclosed some stuff that happened to me. I haven't told her or anyone. I was hoping she would acknowledge my text immediately but she didn't - it took her 18 hours to acknowledge my text and then she just said "see you tomorrow". I am now freaking out.

Why did I tell her (I feel horrible)
She obviously thinks it isn't serious otherwise she would have responded sooner
She probably thinks I am making it all up
She didn't enquire whether I was okay/safe (it was about abuse)

I feel .... I don't know - just why did i let myself become so vulnerable?
I have let myself be vulnerable with one other woman (mother figure) before and she abandoned me and told me to see this T.

She thinks I am a victim choosing to stay in this situation. She says we all have choices. But I feel I dont.

I am sorry to hijack your thread. It just resonated with me very much.

Sorry. x

Oh hun, no need to feel sorry. I understand how you may be feeling.......sorry it is so tough for you at the moment too.

Kind to you.

[JaneC]

Gah!!!!
It's been hours and he hasn't replied. Yep........ I am freaking out now. He must be thinking horrid things about me. Oh, I know there may be other reasons he hasn't replied......but normally he would have responded by now.

Oh bloody heck....... my heart rate is so high, very stressed now. Sigh.

[tealBumblebee]

You are so brave!!! Good for you for taking control. I know this is scary but sometimes that's what it takes - ripping the bandaid off.

[HazelGirl]

Give it time. You just need to be patient.

[sweepy62]

I have t tomorrow , so I feel I'm going to Sesame Street. Lets see what new CSa word she introduces tomorrow .

I hope you get a reply soon.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[JaneC]

Oh I know, I need patience HG, and I have it in abundance for others......but when it comes to this..... NONE!

It's coming up to the end of his workday and still nothing.

I feel all exposed and scared. This is not easy, but I guess it is the challenges in life that provide the most possibility for growth.

Trying to convince myself there, not working lol

[JaneC]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

I have t tomorrow , so I feel I'm going to Sesame Street. Lets see what new CSa word she introduces tomorrow .

I hope you get a reply soon.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Good luck for that Sweepy.....new words, yikes! Exposure therapy like for spiders huh?

I was asked to research and do a small presentation today at uni about sex for 60's+........... blardy heck!! I kindly declined and choose another topic.......gah!!!

[NowhereUSA]

Sometimes my therapist doesn't want to talk until session about particularly heavy things. Also, he may have to process the information and probably wants to think of the most helpful way to respond. That can be hard if there are lots of sessions in a day. i know my t has a decent client base + some groups he runs. sometimes I've not gotten responses for a day or so because he wants to work it out in his head. we have an e-mail relationship though (on top of our sessions) where i just brain dump and i don't really expect him to respond. It wasn't ever expressly said that he wouldn't respond, but the pattern evolved and now i feel much more comfortable with it. so it could be that too.

[HazelGirl]

I agree with NowhereUSA. If he had a busy day, it would be difficult for him to sit down and think of the best, most helpful way to respond to your email.

[Parley]

Originally Posted by JaneC

I was thinking about all the stuff I wrote in the thread about talking to T about sex, and started to panic about whether I would ever be able to tell him.

So I got the great idea to copy my posts and email them to him!!! Oh gaaaawwd! I revealed too much!!!!! What is he going to think????

I asked if he could try to help me by talking about how we will talk about it all. Oh dear, now I'm going to stress until I see him on Friday. It's Tuesday eve here.

What on earth was I thinking??

Just asking for some support to calm my crazy nerves now please. Please?

I think you were thinking you should just lay it all out on the table. That took some serious courage.

My therapist would never reply to something like this and if she did she'd say, "We can talk about this date, time."

I hope I can find the same courage when facing my fears.

[JaneC]

I understand, and my T would not respond to the content for sure. However normally he would respond with a reassurance that he could help me to discuss it at the next appointment. Would be good knowing that if I didn't actually need him to respond right?

Thanks for saying I have courage....... not sure I agree right now. I'm sureI'll be checking my email all day today. Even thinking to avoid the session tomorrow.

Ok, off to drop son to school and get to my last day of university for the semester. Sigh!

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by JaneC

I understand, and my T would not respond to the content for sure. However normally he would respond with a reassurance that he could help me to discuss it at the next appointment. Would be good knowing that if I didn't actually need him to respond right?

Thanks for saying I have courage....... not sure I agree right now. I'm sureI'll be checking my email all day today. Even thinking to avoid the session tomorrow.

Ok, off to drop son to school and get to my last day of university for the semester. Sigh!

Definitely don't avoid your session, even though it's tempting. Maybe he's waiting because he sees you tomorrow?