[Yearning0723]

I feel sort of like this is what current T is to me right now...there is nothing she can really say to ease the pain of my present situation and being at home when I really wish I was back in the States and all my anxiety and sadness and fear, etc. But she can listen to all my painful thoughts and feelings and hold them. I feel like that's all I can really ask for at this point. I am still in so much pain and I don't think there's much she can do to ease it. Even knowing that she's here for me if/when/as much as I need her isn't really doing much for me.

It's hard.

[stopdog]

Perhaps it is that her presence in your life is already doing what it can. She can witness the pain. I do not believe any therapist can take it away from you or prevent pain from being felt. But perhaps it is a bit more bearable because you know she is there.

[Yearning0723]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Perhaps it is that her presence in your life is already doing what it can. She can witness the pain. I do not believe any therapist can take it away from you or prevent pain from being felt. But perhaps it is a bit more bearable because you know she is there.

Thanks for this, stopdog. I think her presence does help, marginally...at any rate, I know she's someone I can talk to about this who won't tell me to just go back to living my own life and just try to put the whole situation out of my mind...and that's something, at least.

Yearning, your T is doing all she really can for you at this point. She's there and she's listening. About 4 years ago, my sister had to go through bone marrow transplant following chemotherapy for breast cancer. That last year of her life was utterly painful, and all my T could really do on that front was listen. It was beyond his power to really ease the pain. No skills can do that. No technique can make it hurt less. It is something I just had to live through, painful day by painful day. But my T's willingness to just hear me and sit with me and be witness to my grief was a great blessing as it sounds like you've realized yourself. Your pain and grief are "normal" under the circumstances; what you are feeling isn't pathological. That was something my T kept reminding me of during the whole ordeal. Normal grief is treacherous to wade through. Do be sure you take care of yourself. That will be your greatest strength and help later on.

[Yearning0723]

Originally Posted by 1914sierra

Yearning, your T is doing all she really can for you at this point. She's there and she's listening. About 4 years ago, my sister had to go through bone marrow transplant following chemotherapy for breast cancer. That last year of her life was utterly painful, and all my T could really do on that front was listen. It was beyond his power to really ease the pain. No skills can do that. No technique can make it hurt less. It is something I just had to live through, painful day by painful day. But my T's willingness to just hear me and sit with me and be witness to my grief was a great blessing as it sounds like you've realized yourself. Your pain and grief are "normal" under the circumstances; what you are feeling isn't pathological. That was something my T kept reminding me of during the whole ordeal. Normal grief is treacherous to wade through. Do be sure you take care of yourself. That will be your greatest strength and help later on.

Thanks for this. And yes, her even just being there and listening is really great and I'm not taking it for granted...she was willing to do four phone sessions while I was away, which was very kind of her, and I appreciated that a lot.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by stopdog

She can witness the pain.

And perhaps validate it.

[brillskep]

I don't think it is about erasing the pain. Not only can she not do that, I don't think that would be a good thing. Pain has its function too. Just like we need physical pain to let us know that something is wrong, emotional pain does that too. Sometimes it can be overwhelming though. I think it is important to just have someone there to hold your pain with you and be there with you in this pain. That does sound like all that can really be done right now. Help you stay with what you're feeling for now. At the same time, perhaps one day she or another therapist might help you to understand the deeper meaning of your anxiety. But for now, I think that having your therapist just be there is still a good thing, considering the situation, even though she can't help ease the pain you're feeling and she can't make it go away.