[freefallin]

I seem to run into two main scenarios when I go to therapists. Either I feel like I'm paying someone to listen to me blab about how my day has been, or the therapist says things to me that literally make no sense to me. I can't communicate with someone if they're speaking a language I don't understand.

I went to a therapist a few months ago because of concentration/information processing problems I've been having. Personally, I think there's something going on neurologically, but since neurologists aren't any help, I tried therapy out of desperation.

The therapist asked how I responded when I was in class and noticed I was having trouble understanding a concept that everyone around me seemed to grasp straight away. I said that I get frustrated, shut down, and want to run screaming from the room. He responded, "I would say that that's a part of you that's making you have that response. Now I want you to talk to that part of you."

I just sat there silently trying not to laugh because what he was saying sounded so, well, stupid to me. A part of me is causing me to be frustrated when I can't process information being taught to me fast enough to keep up with the rest of my class? Well, duh. It's called my brain. And I'm supposed to make it stop doing that by talking to it? What am I supposed to say to it?

I dunno, am I just crazy or stupid? I literally can't understand what therapists are saying when they delve into spiritual or, like, subconscious-y speak like this.

I'm with you here. I hate that "talk to that part of you" stuff (stuff is a nicer word than I really wanted to type ). I'm like you. I'd just laugh at how ridiculous the idea is. My brain just doesn't respond to that kind of thing. I think I'm way too left brained.

[stopdog]

I do not understand the woman when she speaks. I spent a great deal of time telling her to speak english. It is one of the reasons it is better for me when she does not speak.

[freefallin]

Originally Posted by 1914sierra

I'm with you here. I hate that "talk to that part of you" stuff (stuff is a nicer word than I really wanted to type ). I'm like you. I'd just laugh at how ridiculous the idea is. My brain just doesn't respond to that kind of thing. I think I'm way too left brained.

Me too! I wish I had more creative abilities, but I'm such a literal-minded, left-brain kind of thinker.

[JustShakey]

Using the term 'part of you' is just a more user friendly way of talking about a conflict. A lot of people (me included) will use it in regular speech. Like: part of me wants ice cream and part of me wants cake instead of I can't decide if I want ice cream or cake.
I'm very familiar with that feeling of wanting to run screaming when I have to really focus to learn something/do something difficult (I hate it, it's maddening). For me, it's a conflict between wanting to learn the new information and not wanting to make the effort. In others words, part of me is eager to learn and part of me is furious at myself for putting all that extra effort on myself. I think this is what your T is getting at.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by stopdog

It is one of the reasons it is better for me when she does not speak.

stopdog, you are awesome, lol.

Originally Posted by freefallin

I just sat there silently trying not to laugh because what he was saying sounded so, well, stupid to me. A part of me is causing me to be frustrated when I can't process information being taught to me fast enough to keep up with the rest of my class? Well, duh. It's called my brain. And I'm supposed to make it stop doing that by talking to it? What am I supposed to say to it>.

can you interview T's beforehand and tell them up front you're not interested in their psychobabble and they need to be able to speak regular english when interacting with you to ensure a good fit?

I usually like the psychobabble bc it is so open to interpretation and I like to dissect the hell out of everything and plain english just doesn't offer enough fodder for me to obsess over.

[freefallin]

Originally Posted by JustShakey

Using the term 'part of you' is just a more user friendly way of talking about a conflict. A lot of people (me included) will use it in regular speech. Like: part of me wants ice cream and part of me wants cake instead of I can't decide if I want ice cream or cake.
I'm very familiar with that feeling of wanting to run screaming when I have to really focus to learn something/do something difficult (I hate it, it's maddening). For me, it's a conflict between wanting to learn the new information and not wanting to make the effort. In others words, part of me is eager to learn and part of me is furious at myself for putting all that extra effort on myself. I think this is what your T is getting at.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Okay, this makes some sense. I guess what's frustrating for me is that I want to understand things and to be able to do things but seem to lack the capacity to do so. I still don't get what talking to it would do, though.

Originally Posted by InRealLife45

can you interview T's beforehand and tell them up front you're not interested in their psychobabble and they need to be able to speak regular english when interacting with you to ensure a good fit?

Probably, but I don't really find the therapists who don't use psychobabble helpful either, so I'm just staying away from therapy for the time being. I mostly just posted this thread because I'm curious if this kind of stuff makes sense to others.

[blur]

your T is talking about parts work. it is just like how freud came up with the id, ego & superego except in parts work there can be more than 3 parts. i have a part of me that likes to sabotage my efforts to be productive. that sabotaging part of me spurs me on to stay up way too late, eat too much sugar, drink too much caffeine, etc so the next day when i had planned to get things done i am too tired to do so. the part of me that wants to be productive and the sabotaging part of me are in conflict. your T wanted you to talk to the part of you that is causing you problems or holding pain or whatever to help it out. that part's concerns need to be heard and then it may be a lot more cooperative. in my example talking to my sabotaging part can help me figure out why she is sabotaging me and what she needs. once i can meet that need she won't feel the need to sabotage me.

if you don't understand something your T is saying you can always ask them to explain it to you. i'm sure they'd be happy to do so.

[freefallin]

Originally Posted by blur

your T is talking about parts work. it is just like how freud came up with the id, ego & superego except in parts work there can be more than 3 parts. i have a part of me that likes to sabotage my efforts to be productive. that sabotaging part of me spurs me on to stay up way too late, eat too much sugar, drink too much caffeine, etc so the next day when i had planned to get things done i am too tired to do so. the part of me that wants to be productive and the sabotaging part of me are in conflict. your T wanted you to talk to the part of you that is causing you problems or holding pain or whatever to help it out. that part's concerns need to be heard and then it may be a lot more cooperative. in my example talking to my sabotaging part can help me figure out why she is sabotaging me and what she needs. once i can meet that need she won't feel the need to sabotage me.

if you don't understand something your T is saying you can always ask them to explain it to you. i'm sure they'd be happy to do so.

I see. Thanks for explaining. Freudian stuff never jived with me when we encountered it in any of my psych courses, so I guess that's why this approach just seems like a crappy fit for me.

The way of looking at it as "parts of me" being in conflict does make some sense, though. I don't really see it as separate parts of me but as just different things that I want, I guess. Like, on one hand, I want to be successful and prove to people that I can accomplish my career goals. On the other hand, I'm tired of all of the ******** hoops I have to jump through to get there and just want to quit everything. It makes sense if that's the kind of thing people mean by "parts of you."

[blur]

Originally Posted by freefallin

It makes sense if that's the kind of thing people mean by "parts of you."

i think so. it's kind of like how a person can have an artistic side and a serious side and a childlike side and a business side. all these sides or parts to our personality and in parts work some of the sides are not so positive. it's when they conflict we have to figure out what is going on and how we can integrate them or at least get them working together. it's definitely a strange concept at first. if you really prefer a therapy that is more straightforward and logical you might find CBT appealing.

[freefallin]

Originally Posted by blur

i think so. it's kind of like how a person can have an artistic side and a serious side and a childlike side and a business side. all these sides or parts to our personality and in parts work some of the sides are not so positive. it's when they conflict we have to figure out what is going on and how we can integrate them or at least get them working together. it's definitely a strange concept at first. if you really prefer a therapy that is more straightforward and logical you might find CBT appealing.

Maybe. I went to a therapist who was supposedly a CBT therapist once, and she just pissed me off. Her response to everything I said was, "aww" or "Well, then just don't feel that way." Didn't strike me as worth my money.

I just don't think therapy is what I need. I need money, haha, and can't seem to figure out how to get enough of it to pay for the things I need to make my life less miserable...like a qualified doctor to diagnose my health problem, braces to correct my crooked tooth that wreaks havoc on my self-esteem, and my own apartment so I don't have to live with my abusive sister. A therapist can't solve that problem for me, and paying a therapist makes it worse if anything.

[Tangerine87]

That does sound weird. Maybe (sorry to say it) you have a LD. I have add and a ld and I have problems like u describe. What I would do is find another psychologist (you can't get it done from the one who you're seeing because they're biased) and get psychological testing for add and ld.

Originally Posted by freefallin

I seem to run into two main scenarios when I go to therapists. Either I feel like I'm paying someone to listen to me blab about how my day has been, or the therapist says things to me that literally make no sense to me. I can't communicate with someone if they're speaking a language I don't understand.

I went to a therapist a few months ago because of concentration/information processing problems I've been having. Personally, I think there's something going on neurologically, but since neurologists aren't any help, I tried therapy out of desperation.

The therapist asked how I responded when I was in class and noticed I was having trouble understanding a concept that everyone around me seemed to grasp straight away. I said that I get frustrated, shut down, and want to run screaming from the room. He responded, "I would say that that's a part of you that's making you have that response. Now I want you to talk to that part of you."

I just sat there silently trying not to laugh because what he was saying sounded so, well, stupid to me. A part of me is causing me to be frustrated when I can't process information being taught to me fast enough to keep up with the rest of my class? Well, duh. It's called my brain. And I'm supposed to make it stop doing that by talking to it? What am I supposed to say to it?

I dunno, am I just crazy or stupid? I literally can't understand what therapists are saying when they delve into spiritual or, like, subconscious-y speak like this.

[Lauliza]

I am with you - that wording sounds so ridiculous to me. I thank God that the T I see couldn't say those words with a straight face. I don't get why some Ts use it. Isn't "let's talk about why you ran from the room" getting the point across in a more direct way. To me the other language is a bit condescending. I know that's not the intention but it hits a nerve in me that way.

[freefallin]

Originally Posted by Tangerine87

That does sound weird. Maybe (sorry to say it) you have a LD. I have add and a ld and I have problems like u describe. What I would do is find another psychologist (you can't get it done from the one who you're seeing because they're biased) and get psychological testing for add and ld.

Well, these problems started a few years ago when I was 20, so it's not something I have dealt with my whole life like I think is usually the case with LDs. Furthermore, it is next to impossible to get any doctors to entertain the possibility of me having cognitive problems at all because of my high grades. I'm just really good at finding ways around the issues, but they become most apparent in situations unlike school where I don't get to take my time on assignments. Basically, I manage to get good grades without really learning anything because I'm good at test-taking, and I fail at literally every other aspect of life, but for whatever reason, doctors are hell-bent on using my GPA as their ONLY indicator of whether or not I have a problem.

I'm going to make an appointment with a doctor once I lose some weight to discuss ADD medication, though, because I don't know what else to do. The last two times I was on ADD meds, they didn't help, but idk.

[freefallin]

Originally Posted by Lauliza

I am with you - that wording sounds so ridiculous to me. I thank God that the T I see couldn't say those words with a straight face. I don't get why some Ts use it. Isn't "let's talk about why you ran from the room" getting the point across in a more direct way. To me the other language is a bit condescending. I know that's not the intention but it hits a nerve in me that way.

I know what you mean. It took me by surprise because this guy struck me as pretty non-"woo woo" compared to other therapists I've seen, and then he came out with that stuff. He was an older guy, so I guess his use of more Freudian kind of stuff may have been a product of his age.

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by freefallin

I know what you mean. It took me by surprise because this guy struck me as pretty non-"woo woo" compared to other therapists I've seen, and then he came out with that stuff. He was an older guy, so I guess his use of more Freudian kind of stuff may have been a product of his age.

True, it could be a product of his age, or just his style. We all say things like "part of me wants to...", that's just typical language. But when a T starts getting into the deep analysis of "parts" it just makes me feel like they are trying too hard. Like they want it to be much more complicated than it needs to be. Still my style is direct, so I don't like hearing things dressed up and made convoluted when there's little or no reason to.

[NowhereUSA]

I see a DBT therapist (idk, it feels like he's very practical - it's about skills so how to do things are broken down into easily understandable bits). Because of his training, if I don't understand something, I just keep pushing back on him to explain it and he usually will switch to explaining it in more concrete terms. Not a whole lot of "talking to that part of myself" though. More about how certain behaviors reinforce certain behaviors/responses/etc.

[rainbow8]

My T used IFS --internal family systems, with me, which is all "parts" work. Blur explained it very well! I happened to love doing it because it was freeing to isolate different parts of my personality. The goal is for all the parts to work together and not have one "running the show." IFS is a very effective and powerful therapy if it's done by a T who has completed all of the training. I don't like to see it criticized. "Different strokes for different folks". free fall in, I hope you find out what is wrong. If you don't like T's method, tell him. Good luck!

[stopdog]

I personally found CBT to be completely worthless and extremely patronizing. I thought it treated clients like they were complete simpletons. But it does not strike everyone that way and seems to be useful for some.

The language they all use is bizarre to me. The therapist has said she uses words differently than I do. Of course, that sent me into a study of language and dictionaries because she is using them incorrectly. OF course she has also said she does not process information/think the way I do. I found that odd also.

Originally Posted by Tangerine87

That does sound weird. Maybe (sorry to say it) you have a LD. I have add and a ld and I have problems like u describe. What I would do is find another psychologist (you can't get it done from the one who you're seeing because they're biased) and get psychological testing for add and ld.

LD=language disorder?

I honestly think that having a T who communicates in a way that is natural to the individual client is one of the most important factors in terms of making therapy work. For me, that means having a T who talks a little like a book, because that's how I talk. I would get seriously embarrassed if a T tried to make me "talk to parts of me". It would be such a waste of time and money for me if I had to go through that, and would only serve to make me frustrated.

[freefallin]

To be clear, I haven't been to this guy in months. I just randomly thought of this experience and thought I would ask if anyone had a clue what he meant because I was so baffled.

Embarrassed is a good word. I don't like when therapists ask me to try out exercises in front of them like that. I couldn't have sat there talking to myself (or part of myself) out loud even if I knew what to say. I asked if I could do it silently and then just sat there.

[freefallin]

Originally Posted by Mastodon

LD=language disorder?

I honestly think that having a T who communicates in a way that is natural to the individual client is one of the most important factors in terms of making therapy work. For me, that means having a T who talks a little like a book, because that's how I talk. I would get seriously embarrassed if a T tried to make me "talk to parts of me". It would be such a waste of time and money for me if I had to go through that, and would only serve to make me frustrated.

I think LD means learning disorder. It took me a minute to figure it out too.

Originally Posted by freefallin

I think LD means learning disorder. It took me a minute to figure it out too.

Oh, of course! Thanks!

[tinyrabbit]

I'm interested in the fact that you haven't asked your T to explain.

Who says it's about you and something being wrong with you? Maybe your T needs to explain it differently as that explanation didn't work for you?

The first time my T said something like this, I thought he was on glue. Basically though it's the case that we have different aspects to ourselves, different influences and inner voices. For example part of you may want one thing and another part of you may want something else.

[dumburn]

"what the eff are you talking about?" usually works for me when she rambles on about bringing parts of me together or other stuff that makes no sense to me.
She'll then try to explain again, and then I must occasionally still look confused because she'll try again.
I'll either get it or we both get frustrated and give up, usually because it's not really that important that I fully understand what shes talking about and it seems like a waste of time going round in circles.
But then I've never been big on the theory side of anything

but what i'm trying to say is if it's important to you try to ask, T really shouldn't have a problem trying again.