[clinpsycstudent]

Thought I might post this on here, as I feel like I 'know' everyone much better on this particular forum - and thank you all for your help and support so far...
I feel that I have a few problems that may sound bizarre - and I wonder if anyone can relate? For example, I find myself totally freaking if something sponaneous happens (for example, road works or accident) and that I wouldn't be able to find my way home. Other things I found interesting was that I completely started to panic while receiving a certificate on stage a while back, just because I was afraid I would not be able to find my seat in the crowd... Sound ridiculous? I am so embarrassed by these! (I feel this could be my generalized anxiety playing it's tricks on me again?)
Also I have a major fear of actually driving. I have driven before and I CAN actually drive - but the thoughts of accidently going into the wrong lane, crashing... etc are just paralyzing. I hadn't told my former T this... thinking about how I should bring this up with current T?
Ahhh... can anyone relate to these issues?

[unaluna]

I got stuck in a construction slowdown on the freeway one night, and i was afraid i was not going to be able to hold it together. I had done tons of driving before this, for many years, so it was odd. But i guess i was just done with it.

[clinpsycstudent]

Thanks for your reply, Hankster!

[AllyIsHopeful]

It does sound like GAD. I don't experience these same fears, but I can relate to fearing things for strange reasons that most people would not understand, or see as a big deal.

It would be a good idea to bring it up with your current T exactly as you did here. What you said does not sound crazy and it is normal to have "fears of impending doom" or irrational thoughts and worries when suffering from an anxiety disorder. I would bring it up in session to work on these fears and *why* you are afraid of not finding the chair...What will happen if you don't? T can help you with things like that and to redirect those thoughts and develop coping mechanisms for each unique situation.

Your problems sound fascinating to me, so I am sure your T will find them interesting too.

[HazelGirl]

Yes! I totally relate about the driving thing. It took me two years to learn how to drive because I was so afraid I would do something wrong and hurt someone. It took someone with a Master's in counseling (although she never got her hours completed so she wasn't licensed) to be able to calm me down enough while driving to learn how to actually drive. It was terrifying, but I am so much happier now that I know. But I do relate so much to that fear.

[Perna]

I understand completely, use to have fears like that. I still vividly remember the first few weeks on a job where there was a workroom that had 5-6 doors, entrances/exits and how when I was going from one place to another I would have to keep my eye on the door I wanted to exit and walk straight across the room instead of looking around at the interesting projects going on all around at the workbenches :-) I was afraid I'd get lost in the room.

I think it has something to do with self-esteem. I know I started a job and it was raining that first day and I forgot to turn off my headlights when I got there and my battery ran down and the car would not start when it came time to leave. I knew no one and the woman I worked with had already gone home, I was in a part of town I did not know, etc. It was an engineering firm so I had plenty of guys glad to help/jumpstart the car, etc. and it turned out fine but I would catch myself reluctant to use my headlights and/or turning them off before I got places, being hypervigilant about them. I have an excellent memory but had "forgotten" that after this one mistake and one morning I got tired of feeling so anxious about headlights (better things to do with my energy :-) so had a conversation with myself, reminding myself I had a really good memory, was very trustworthy :-) and that even if I made that mistake again, the world would not come to an end, people would help and I was quite able to take care of myself in the interim/get the problem fixed.

[clinpsycstudent]

Thank you all for your responses - they have made me feel much better, and less alone with my worries! I was thinking about it last night - and I feel that it is somewhat due to being around very hypercritical people when growing up - even to this day, my parents are still extremely critical (I got the wrong change out for the carpark the other day, and apparently that was considered 'useless' as I was keeping everyone waiting) so hence I feel that I was always the issue, and gave in to their criticalness as as truth. I nearly cried over the carparking incident - and it is such a minor issue!
I remember when I was very young, I made a mistake in a school play - and my classmates said, "I ruined the whole play, it was my fault" ... etc. I remember that like it was yesterday - hence I feel that pattern has always been triggered in me - hence my anxiety as a defensive response to help protect me from this sort of hurt.

[coolibrarian]

I didn't get my license until I was 33, because of fear.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by clinpsycstudent

and I feel that it is somewhat due to being around very hypercritical people when growing up

That is true for me also. I'm trying to undo the parental criticism that I've internalized. CBT T is very helpful with that. I apologize constantly and CBT T is trying to help me stop those automatic thoughts too.

I relate to all these issues you mention! I'm working on a driving phobia also. I drive to work, the drs, shopping, but I avoid highways. I am taking driving lessons again AND with CBT T, every other session we go driving on a route I haven't done before. Every driving decision that I have to make is a moment of anxiety. He checks in with me often and I talk him through how I'm doing while driving.

And re: moments of high anxiety that strike---that happened to me today at work. I got into a heated discussion with a coworker. Not quite an argument, but a minor clash. When we finished talking, I went into a stall in the ladies room and let the anxiety attack wash right over me. In 5 minutes I was ok again--but it struck fast and hard.

Wishing you an easier time of things!!!

[clinpsycstudent]

Thanks so much for the replies! I am very much like this too - I would always apologize or if someone offers me something, I would say, "Are you sure?" - I find it difficult to allow people to actually help me or offer me anything. Perhaps I feel undeserving, and forget my needs. I am learning along the way of becoming a psychologist to allow my needs to be met - otherwise it is a recipe of burnout!

[Depletion]

I have a fear of driving. I used to have really bad nightmares about car accidents when I was a kid. Learning to drive was really hard because I have spatial disability. I still have a really hard time parallel parking (I get really spatially confused), and I can't back into a parking spot ever. I also only recently taught myself to drive on the freeway, which I can do now when its not busy, but I'm scared of rush hour

I also know what you mean about the whole criticism thing. My dad can be really critical about really little things like not washing your hands before dinner, or leaving a small mess. And I have a learning disability, so I was always getting criticized in school for not doing things right, or not being able to type properly. Certain kinds of criticism for me result in toxic levels of shame. Sometimes the shame is so bad that I feel like I can speak, or I keep swallowing all the words I want to say in order to defend myself.