[precaryous]

Except for matters of employment, is googling T out of bounds?

[Mactastic]

Depends. Mostly I've just come to realize it only harms the client. I know things I don't need to know and I have regrets.

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[HealingTimes]

I don't really understand why people make such a big thing of googling their T. I have googled my T a few times, and she has also directed me to a few websites when there is a photo and a bit of blurb about her that she has written about herself.

It depends on what you call googling I think. It seems normal and prudent to check for educational background, professional websites, etc. Where it tends to become a problem is when people start looking for personal information and do things like get on the T's FB page or worse, get on their family members' FB pages to scour for information that really was never meant for their eyes. We even have had people here who pretended to be someone else to gain access to family members' pages, etc. That's pretty stalkerish behavior and goes well beyond just googling. But if you can limit it to mostly professional information, if you can keep yourself on actually acting on the information like going by their house, etc., then it is probably not a particularly unhealthy behavior. You have to know yourself on this.

[venusss]

it depends why you do it. If you want information about them as a professional, than that is fine and it's a way to know you are getting your money's worth (I mean... I google other service providers as well).

If you google to "feel closer" or because you are obsessing about them as a person... it can be derimental to your well-being. Not sure about boundary crossing, internet is public.

[anilam]

Family's out of bounds. Ts personal info - I think a T should think about it and make any of his profile friends only.

[stopdog]

This topic can get people divided. I personally say google away if it suits your fancy. I checked her out to make sure there were no disciplinary complaints etc. I don't really care about her personal life - but if it is open and out there I see no problem if you really care.

[NowhereUSA]

i google just about everyone including myself from time to time (to see what's out there). so why wouldn't i google my t? :: shrugs :: plus i like to practice my google-fu. sharpens the finger tips and whatnot.

[HazelGirl]

Yes, all the time. I don't have any guilt about it, and I don't think anyone else should either.

[healed84]

There are huge distinctions in the amount and fair and deep you go. I googled my T when I found out he would be my T, and put his name into google and it comes up with more than just his basic practice information.. stuff about where he lives is on there to. There wasn't deliberate seeking out of info. However, with any doctor, I good their name and look them up and website with patient reviews to see what I am getting into.

[precaryous]

I googled my previous PDoc just to see how he was doing. Up popped an article and picture of him being led in handcuffs to a police cruiser...

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by healed84

There are huge distinctions in the amount and fair and deep you go. I googled my T when I found out he would be my T, and put his name into google and it comes up with more than just his basic practice information.. stuff about where he lives is on there to. There wasn't deliberate seeking out of info. However, with any doctor, I good their name and look them up and website with patient reviews to see what I am getting into.

You're right, even googling for employment purposes, more information can appear than you might expect.

[venusss]

Originally Posted by precaryous

I googled my previous PDoc just to see how he was doing. Up popped an article and picture of him being led in handcuffs to a police cruiser...

OMG! Was he a bad pdoc when he was treating you?

[maykins]

I found my T through google, so it was inevitable...

I actually chose her because of the results - she manages a Psychotherapy "first aid" forum and also has a website with interesting articles and information.

[Perna]

I try to be honest with myself at all costs and accept responsibility for my actions. I work to accept and support whatever it is I do, assuming I consciously or unconsciously want/need to do whatever and that it helps me.

[CameraObscura]

I googled before my first appointment with him, and I will once in a while. I will not do a deep search for personal information.

A basic search did tell me his address and some other things about him, but nothing I would feel bad or wrong about telling him I knew. A little uncomfortable, maybe.

I did... and do...
But you know, it becomes hard when you find out something 'special'. Like when my T started talking about something she posted on Facebook a few days earlier. I had read it and couldn't do anything else but admitting that I had read it. I'm a terrible liar and I didn't want to act as if I hadn't read it either.
So if you think it's okay to google them, I guess you have to live with the consequences too.

Anyway, I don't care if people Google me. I don't put anything online if I don't want it to be out there, so I think T's are smart enough to do the same.

[NowhereUSA]

i learned a long time ago to fake confidence. if my t was like 'oh blah blah blah' and it had been something i'd found on fb, i'd be like, 'yeah, i totally googled-stalked you.' i might be trembling inside, but i'd just own it. but then i go back to - don't post on the interwebz what you don't want people to find.

my dad cracks me up. he won't even *like* a post on fb. he totally reads everything i post but he never comments, never likes, he'll just mention it in a conversation later. he does fb in stealth mode lol.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

OMG! Was he a bad pdoc when he was treating you?

That one wasn't a bad PDoc while he was treating me, that I am aware. Years after I knew him he ended up getting arrested for selling prescriptions...and a young lady overdosed on non psychiatric meds he prescribed for her. I think they were pain meds.

I called my T at the time, and thanked her for never getting arrested with her picture in the paper!

[nummy]

To be honest, my first reaction was "ew!" So no, I guess it's out of bounds for me, personally. Might look up professional accreditations if I felt it necessary, but if I found something personal, I think it would affect my therapy. Ts aren't the only ones who need to keep a personal distance. As it is, my current t talks tooo much about herself. Maybe I'm self centered, but in paying through the nose for services, they should be about me. Which is why I never really focus on my ts private life. Meh, just my opinion.

[junkDNA]

i looked up my Ts facebook. but T has said many times that he hates facebook and theres practically nothing there except happy bday messages and a picture of his dog.

[Wysteria]

I guess I'm a technological idiot, but how deep to you have to go to get such things as home addresses etc?
If your aim is some general professional information, that comes up pretty readily...and if that is truly your aim, then I can understand that. But anything deeper seems to be only found in "paid" services and searches.
And to go any further is just rude in my stupid opinion. The exception obviously being gross misconduct and the need for more information especially for a suit or something.

Why would you want to start or continue a relationship and partnership based on such mistrust and lies? I'd feel very hurt to know people did such underhanded things to me. I'd rather just learn to trust on a person to person basis and let someone earn my trust and earn their trust as well. Is this not part of the skills, learning how to trust, how quickly to trust, whom to trust, how to protect myself, and how to listen to my intuition...that I am supposed to be learning in therapy?

I've had friends that didn't trust boyfriends and read their emails, looked at phones, listened in and checked appointment books. This question always reminds me of such friends and how creepy it made me feel. How can we possibly learn how to be trustworthy and trusting and make real connections?

Withholding trust until someone earns it is one thing, holding things over their heads is another. I have certainly been in unsafe situations and had bad T's, but usually people show their colours, and I'd rather be the one learning how "read" people and have trusting relationships.

This question comes up repeatedly. In the end, what purpose does knowing what street they live on become relevant? I certainly wouldn't want them or anyone else invading my privacy and would absolutely reject and probably violently protect against someone "cruising my house" or looking at my children's fb pages...

I guess I just don't understand. Maybe I need to watch more of that old series, Lie To Me.
just a different perspective here....not quite understanding the appeal.

Wysteria

[NowhereUSA]

Originally Posted by Wysteria

I guess I'm a technological idiot, but how deep to you have to go to get such things as home addresses etc?

not deep. most info is on public record. after i saw a googling question here i just googled my t and our state and within about three minutes had his home address. i've already forgotten it lol. i googled him a long time ago and probably found it then as well.

googling is pretty common nowadays. it's just kind one of those things people do. i fully expect people to google me. i googled my hubs in our early dating. he didn't think it was weird. i didn't think it was weird. idk. it's sometimes fun to see what you can find. especially if it's not that person

a college buddy of mine had someone by the same name as her writing erotic poetry. it was the first pop up in google and we gave her such crap for it because she is NOT the erotic poetry type.

[stopdog]

Actually addresses and phone numbers come up rather easily and quickly from a simple google search, along with pictures of the house and its estimated value. Students look me up and drive past my house and as long as they are not stopping and coming up to the door, it is not a big deal to me. I can see where it can give a picture of someone a person is curious about. I am both not curious about the woman and she has told me, unbidden, where she lives and other stuff about herself. My usual response is why are you wasting my time on this, but there are others who seem to want to know it.

[Depletion]

For me googling T is pathological, and it is a big part of a very bad obessive pattern, so I'm trying not to do that with my new T. I only googled her to look at professional information, and I hope that I don't do it again.

But I think that T's should expect to be googled. This doesn't make it ok. But I don't think its ok for a T to get upset about it when they find out. I think that so many people here do if for various reasons that should be discussed in therapy without shame.

I'm sure that before google people looked up their T's in the phone book.

I think that what is most important is that you can tell your T about it before you harm yourself or your T. It's all just part of the therapy relationship.