[JustMeMyselfAndI]

Hello,

Thank you for all your support and stories - I have not contributed majorly - but I have benefited so much from reading your post's and being able to relate to stories and feelings etc. So Thank You All .

My post is a positive story of my last 4 days with T - I need to tell it and..it might make you smile and.. a question why did my body/myself go into panic crazy mode? I know due to my past 'leaving' is difficult but I knew it termination was imminent and panicking wouldn't change that?

I've been seeing T for a year and a half - PTSD/Anxiety.. After about 2 months of not seeing T - I was feeling positive, my maternal transference issues were dimming and I was looking forward to our termination session to highlight my progress. I realized I needed to finish/have a break with T to put everything into action and loose my mummy transference (but I guess I always knew I was coming back for our last meeting)

Monday: Had my last session with T. It was really lovely, positive, ended how it should have and I gave her a personal letter card which she loved - although I didn't pluck up the courage to ask for a hug However, I returned home to find myself lost, hurt, panicking and ill.

Tuesday: After not eating for about 24hours due to feeling pancky, i downed a bottle of wine to try and calm my nerves and because I just didn't know what to do with myself. My panic attack became worse and i was drunk too. My friend took me back to T - where she and 3 others sat with me for over an hour trying to settle me. She gave me some of her 'energy sweets' and I truly felt cared about But still so lost and hurt when I got home - i totally changed from my positive 'moved on' self and felt i'd gone back 1000 steps and wouldn't recover. What happened?

Wednesday: T wanted me to come back to see her to talk about Tuesday. I was exhausted and although a positive session - I knew I hadn't told her about the wine (she just thought it was a panic attack). Also, I don't know but it didn't seem right to end it there. So i e-mailed T and said I needed to see her for 5min after work..she didn't reply..I thought to myself she's doing it 'for my own good' or 'she's blocked my e-mail'. I felt horrible, clingy and like I couldn't let go.

Thursday: I received an e-mail from T: "If you are around and want to pop in, I'm free until 11.00. If we can't connect in person, could you email what you want to say? It sounds very important and not something you need to hang on to. Let me know what's best for you"

So I saw T for 4 consecutive days and guess what.. we ended with a hug! A shout out to all the T's like mine who went/go above and beyond.

x

Glad it all worked out for you and you are feeling better.

[Aloneandafraid]

Thank you. So pleased you got the hug and the validation you needed. Your T sounds wonderful.

[CantExplain]

Neat! I need an ending like that.