[ThisWayOut]

Tonight will be my second appointment with new t. Threes so much I want to explain from last week, and other stuff I want to tell her, but I'm afraid the angry, defensive teenager side of me still kick in again and things will fall apart again. I have stuff written down to give her (or at least let her read), but I'm afraid I will get swept up in the anxiety again. I briefly thought of calling and asking her to remind me to give her the stuff I bring in, but calling her didn't go so well last time. The thought of talking to her brings about so much anxiety, everything goes downhill afterwards. Any ideas on how to make it easier?

[sweepy62]

I am the same way, I am better at that now, I write it down, but she makes me read it. Or I draw what its about. She is an art therapist as well, so that helps. Maybe you can walk in and place it on her desk. You can do it.

[someone321]

I hope it will go okay today and you'll be able to say everything what you'd like to.... I often have a similar problem, but usually I e-mail my T between sessions with some feedback and comments so when I come very defensive to the session she starts with the e-mail and I have "no choice" and have to discuss what I actually wanted... If my defensive teenager is active (is it always a teenager?), I just say e.g. "sorry but I'm very defensive today and I totally do not listen to you and just want to leave" and then usually my T knows how to solve it...

[ThisWayOut]

I wrote stuff out. But I still don't know if I'm going to be able to tell her any of it. Maybe I'll just give her the paper. I'm scared to go in. I still have 30 minutes to wait, but I got here early because I never know about traffic (and if I didn't leave my house at the time I did, I would not have left at all). Trying to keep breathing. The flashbacks aren't going away despite trying to ground. I'm not sure how well this will all go.
Pocket riders?

[coolibrarian]

Try to relax your body when you bring up the hard stuff. Don't hold your breath or tense up. If you start to feel anxious, be sure you are breathing, slowly and steadily. Also, you don't have to say everything at once. You can talk about the hard stuff in pieces, as small as you feel the most comfortable with. Good luck.

[ThisWayOut]

It went ok. I couldn't read the stuff I wrote out for her, but I did give it to her and she skimmed it. We wee able to talk about some of it. I was also able to tell her a bit about the body memories and where they stem from. Overall a better session than the first. I don't see her again for a week and a half tho. We never did cover the body memories in depth enough to figuring out how to make them stop. They are not letting up for me... :/
maybe next week we can cover that if they are still going like this.