[musinglizzy]

Ok...firstly, I hate to cry. Yet I find myself losing it sometimes anyway.... and it ended up that I was bursting into tears at my doctor's office (GP) and she finally got me to go to therapy. Session after session, I can tell my T is really trying to encourage me to cry. I shake, I huddle up, I look anywhere but at her.... and, a stray tear or two has fallen down my face, but I can't cry...whereas at my doctor's office, heck, I couldn't make it stop! This is the one person who WANTS me to, and I can't. Yeah, I know I fight it, but I fight it everywhere else too. Perhaps just something about her being a T..... I don't know. Also could be the fact that I wouldn't want to cry my session away and then have to leave distraught. I have no problem with any other emotion known to man in therapy.....except that. And she's been trying for weeks.

I am comfortable with my T and trust her. I think we have a good working relationship. So that's not the issue..... I don't know what is....

Anyone else just can't let themselves cry during a therapy session? (like me). Or want to let loose but can't seem to do it? Yeah yeah, I know crying is good, ya gotta get it out and all... I just don't like to if I can help it!

[SvanThorXx]

I think one of the main reasons you can't cry is because you can't relax around other people and you feel subconsciously that they're going to judge you for it.

[growlithing]

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

Ok...firstly, I hate to cry. Yet I find myself losing it sometimes anyway.... and it ended up that I was bursting into tears at my doctor's office (GP) and she finally got me to go to therapy. Session after session, I can tell my T is really trying to encourage me to cry. I shake, I huddle up, I look anywhere but at her.... and, a stray tear or two has fallen down my face, but I can't cry...whereas at my doctor's office, heck, I couldn't make it stop! This is the one person who WANTS me to, and I can't. Yeah, I know I fight it, but I fight it everywhere else too. Perhaps just something about her being a T..... I don't know. Also could be the fact that I wouldn't want to cry my session away and then have to leave distraught. I have no problem with any other emotion known to man in therapy.....except that. And she's been trying for weeks.


I am comfortable with my T and trust her. I think we have a good working relationship. So that's not the issue..... I don't know what is....


Anyone else just can't let themselves cry during a therapy session? (like me). Or want to let loose but can't seem to do it? Yeah yeah, I know crying is good, ya gotta get it out and all... I just don't like to if I can help it!

I don't cry a lot and if I need to, I can't always do it, especially not in front of people except in extraordinary circumstances.

I kinda think of crying like holding your bladder. Have you ever tried to wet your pants? That sounds weird... but it's extremely difficult to do it voluntarily because you have been conditioned to use a toilet for years and years and years. However, if you hold it for wayyy too long, you will soil your clothes. And sometimes, maybe you'll wet the bed and feel embarrassed that you're a grown adult that just pissed in bed like a child. That's kind of how I feel when I accidentally cry in front of someone. Like I woke up in my own urine and feeling deeply embarrassed.

So I can't cry because I have been conditioned to believe that it is weak and something that only small children do. I know it's dumb to think that because it isn't true, but that's why I have a hard time with it. And it is really upsetting to nt be able to cry.

[RedSun]

I can't cry, mostly because my meds (citalopram, though I think it has a different brand in the US) seem to stop me.
But also, I really really avoid it in therapy, because I think if I started i would never stop. Being in a safe space with someone who, like your t, would actually like me to cry, just seems to much of an invitation to open the flood gates and I don't think I would have any control if I did.

[stopdog]

I don't cry much and not near the therapist at all.

[Parley]

I don't cry in therapy either. I don't fear not being able to pull myself back together~ I just don't believe I would want to. If it is what I need for a release than I see no point in repeating my mistake. If I break, I may as well wallow in the pain for a few and take some time with it.

[Aloneandafraid]

I am exactly the same & actually had the exact experience with my GP about a year ago when I just couldn't hold it together in front of her but when I got to my T (who she suggested I see) I just can't cry - why? Like you, I trust her, she is a good T. But something is just different about being in her presence ??? Thank you for starting this thread. I really want to let it out! Thank you.

[always_wondering]

I rarely cry and It bothers me because I don't feel human.

I must say, though, when the tears do come, I take notice and really think about what triggered the outburst. Its usually very deep and painful.

I have never cried or felt like crying in session, but I do remember one weird outburst. It was over a holiday break. I had not seen T for about a month and I was missing him so much. He called me for some mundane reason. I do not even remember why, but I was so overjoyed he even thought of me, I balled for a good hour. It was part joy and mostly relief.

[Aloneandafraid]

Originally Posted by always_wondering

I rarely cry and It bothers me because I don't feel human.

I must say, though, when the tears do come, I take notice and really think about what triggered the outburst. Its usually very deep and painful.

I have never cried or felt like crying in session, but I do remember one weird outburst. It was over a holiday break. I had not seen T for about a month snd I was missing him so much. He called me for some mundane reason. I do not even remrember why, but I was so overjoyed he even thought of me, I balled for a good hour. It was part joy and mostly relief.

I hope this might happen to me when I next see T after our 8 week break. It sounds cathartic?

[HazelGirl]

I have a lot of struggles with this in therapy, too. I can tear up, I have even let a few stray tears down my face, but I always keep talking as if nothing is happening and like I'm fine. I know that at one point, I sort of dissociated and when I "came back", I had tear streaks down my face and I don't remember exactly why I was crying or how much I cried (probably not a lot).

[NowhereUSA]

i struggle with crying too. growing up not crying was seen as 'strong' and i was constantly praised for it. so i learned to keep it back and eventually it became something i just did. i can cry alone and i've finally gotten to a point where if it's bad enough i can cry in front of my husband but in general, i don't cry. and i really, really want to

i wish i could just break down in session. i have managed to cry a handful of times but i have to be *really really* bad and possibly hormonal.

[musinglizzy]

Originally Posted by growlithing

I don't cry a lot and if I need to, I can't always do it, especially not in front of people except in extraordinary circumstances.

I kinda think of crying like holding your bladder. Have you ever tried to wet your pants? That sounds weird... but it's extremely difficult to do it voluntarily because you have been conditioned to use a toilet for years and years and years. However, if you hold it for wayyy too long, you will soil your clothes. And sometimes, maybe you'll wet the bed and feel embarrassed that you're a grown adult that just pissed in bed like a child. That's kind of how I feel when I accidentally cry in front of someone. Like I woke up in my own urine and feeling deeply embarrassed.

So I can't cry because I have been conditioned to believe that it is weak and something that only small children do. I know it's dumb to think that because it isn't true, but that's why I have a hard time with it. And it is really upsetting to nt be able to cry.

I think that is an EXCELLENT analogy!! Makes perfect sense! I really wish I could, actually. Just because it would be in a controlled environment, with someone who's job it is to help with those emotions. Like I said, aside from a few stray tears, where I just wiped them away and kept moving on, I've never really broke down. I had typed something out once to read to T during session....but firstly, I brought in a photo album for her to look at, as I didn't want her looking at me while I read, but I also sat in such a way that I was able to keep the papers covering my face. It was long, and I shed a lot of tears through it, and you could very much tell in my voice, but I got under control and dried up by the time I finished. And just like I asked her to, she just continued to go through that photo album. Thank you for all the replies!

[stopdog]

Perhaps this could help. I don't like the blogger, but a lot of people do.

How to Cry in Therapy | Psychology Today

[musinglizzy]

Leaving in 15 minutes for another dreaded painful session. I was physically sick with the last one. My nerves are about shot.....wish me luck!!

[Polibeth]

I cannot seem to cry ever! Sometimes I feel like a good cry would be healing but I can never get the tears out. Even H says it is weird that I never cry. I am going to be dealing with some painful stuff in therapy soon - we'll see how it goes. Good luck with your appointment.

[monkeybrains21]

POSSIBLE TRIGGER!!!!

I don't cry with T or anyone either. I grew up beig told crying was weak. Also I was abused very often as a child and if I cried it only got worse. So needless to say even in physical pain not much emotion is found in me. I think I just dissociate.

[Favorite Jeans]

I sometimes think the intensity of my T's focus on me makes it hard to cry in front of her. I don't cry that easily in general (except while fighting with my partner--it's the worst! I hate crying when I'm mad!) and also struggle to let go in therapy. Sometimes when I feel particularly vulnerable I blather on about how it's not the biggest deal or I'm probably wrong or talk about all the "on the other hand" aspects of the situation.

I love your analogy Growlithing! It's totally brilliant.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by monkeybrains21

POSSIBLE TRIGGER!!!!

I don't cry with T or anyone either. I grew up beig told crying was weak. Also I was abused very often as a child and if I cried it only got worse. So needless to say even in physical pain not much emotion is found in me. I think I just dissociate.

This is the same for me. If I cried, I was told that I would be given "something to cry about", which meant I would get it worse.

[Nightworld1066]

Originally Posted by SvanThorXx

I think one of the main reasons you can't cry is because you can't relax around other people and you feel subconsciously that they're going to judge you for it.

I think you have nailed it right on the head and I risky empathise with how she's feeling

Nightworld1066

I can't remember that last time that I cried, I want to but the tears just won't happen.

[roimata]

I also grew up in an environment that was unaccommodating to negative emotion. Crying in therapy is something I cannot even visualize at this time. I'm sure one day it will jump me.

[SheHulk07]

I have a very hard time crying, even when I'm alone. Like others, I grew up always hearing "I'll give you something to cry about" when my brothers were abused. I have broke down in from of my doctor a few times in the past few months, and once in a while I cry for about a minute during therapy. I wish I could just curl up and cry in therapy, but it hasn't happened.