[lucky2001]

I have a strong urge to cancel my T appt and never go back. The T is ok I guess but I have a few concerns. I just feel like I'm too angry at my T and it can't be repaired. Is it such a bad idea if I call her receptionist and cancel all my appointments? The thing is I don't want to talk about my concerns with T.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[NowhereUSA]

do you feel comfortable sharing your concerns? maybe we can help...?

[Leah123]

I would say it depends on the issues causing this rupture and the issues you're working on in therapy. Without knowing either, I'd suggest that the real work of therapy is indeed going in when you feel too upset and talking it through to reach a resolution, that cutting and running may not be healthy.

However, that's a complete generalization. If your T made a pass at you, yelled at you, wasn't at all helpful after a period, didn't listen to you, etc., I might say to run and find someone better.

Want to share more context?

[lucky2001]

Well she always ends sessions early. It's supposed to be 50 min sessions but she always ends sessions 10-15 mins early. And last week I was really upset and she did the same. I just feel like she doesn't think of my issues as important. Plus I was upset last week and she chose to speak about someone else and how she feels sorry for that person. After I got out of that session, I just started crying. Also I want her to push me into talking and she never does. So I don't talk about my issues really. It's been 2 years so I should feel more comfortable talking about my issues, right?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[lucky2001]

Do you think those are good reasons to quit therapy?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Leah123]

Oh I am sorry, that sounds very painful.

Have you ever asked her why your sessions are not 50 minutes? That would *seriously* bother me!

And have you ever told her how talking about others and not trying to draw you out in conversation makes therapy much harder for you?

All your concerns are 110% valid and a good therapist will address them with respect and concern in order to help you.

[NowhereUSA]

both of those are red flags for me. personally, i'm not sure if it would be worth continuing with her. honestly, if it were me, i'd cancel and start interviewing new ts. it doesn't sound like she has a strong listening skill and i'd be doubtful about trying to discuss it as it would probably just make me want to start twitching.

[lucky2001]

I'm really scared of confrontation. I don't even know how to talk to her about all this. I just really want to call her receptionist and cancel all my appointments.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Leah123]

Originally Posted by lucky2001

I'm really scared of confrontation. I don't even know how to talk to her about all this. I just really want to call her receptionist and cancel all my appointments.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

If you have been in therapy with her for two years and don't feel comfortable asking these questions about your treatment (why sessions are shorter, etc.) that's definitely something to address, with another therapist or her.

I think you have two years of history we know nothing about, and we only have a tiny bit of problematic information, so it's important for you to try and be objective AND go with your gut, deciding what's best for your mental health.

No matter who you see, her or someone new, it's critical to be able to discuss it when you don't like how you're being treated in a relationship, aside from an egregious case like assault where there's no need to discuss, you just need to go.

I hope this works out smoothly and for the best, it sounds so upsetting.

[stopdog]

There is no reason why you can't just call and cancel. The therapist will probably not pursue it.
What is stopping you?

[lucky2001]

Originally Posted by stopdog

There is no reason why you can't just call and cancel. The therapist will probably not pursue it.

What is stopping you?

I'm going tgrough a rough time right now. My pdoc just upped my meds and she will be away for a couple of weeks. So I'm scared I might regret canceling appointments with T. Just trying to decide if I should keep the current T I have just until my pdoc returns.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[stopdog]

Could you make an appointment with a couple of other ones to interview?

[maykins]

I agree with stopdog. This sounds like an issue to work with a new T.

[lucky2001]

Thank you for your suggestions. I think you're right. It's time for a new T. I will make a couple of appointments to find one. Thanks again

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[maykins]

Good for you& good luck!

I’m an advocate of interviewing another T if something doesn’t feel right. Always trust your instincts. There’s a difference between running away, and getting out of an unhealthy situation. Only you can make that call.

I switched T’s a few months ago. It took me a long time to decide, but ultimately it was a good decision. There are certain things that follow us as clients no matter who we see – for me it is attachment issues and insecurity. Though I’ve realized that some T’s trigger it more than others, and I prefer a moderate level so I can focus on what I came for.

Good luck J

[healingme4me]

You know what's best for you. Hopefully, the next T or even this one, if you choose staying, can meet your needs. You are paying for 50minutes and are provided 50minutes. You want to feel like you matter, and not hear about other patients and you have a fear of asserting needs, aka being confrontational.

Whatever you choose, hopefully those issues are covered.

Stinks to have built up resentment in therapy.