[glitterrosez89]

I feel like therapy would be too scatterbrained to even be useful because I have so many things I feel like I need help with.

I catastrophize everything. Like if I get a bad grade at school or have a job interview that goes poorly, I think I might as well disappear from existence because my life is over.

I'm addicted to food to the point that I feel like I will die or pass out if I don't eat the specific food I'm craving sometimes.

I cannot focus at all. I am basically stuck in auto pilot mode all of the time. If I try to force myself to concentrate on something for a long period of time, I feel like I will throw up. If I am forced to stay somewhere for a long period of time, I get all antsy and impatient, and it shows no matter how much I try to hide it.

I don't like anything about myself. I am not good at anything. I am not pretty. I basically don't have anything to offer anyone or society. I feel like this one would be the most uncomfortable to bring up in therapy because it would be like I was begging for the therapist to compliment me...although that's not what it is because I don't believe people when they compliment me anyway. I believe that I am justified in having no self esteem because there isn't anything redeeming about me.

I have no social skills. This wasn't a problem when I was younger, but now it is as an adult. I wish people would have told me sooner that being a huge introvert isn't acceptable in society once you're an adult so I could have addressed it earlier.

I am a "kissless virgin" in my mid-twenties. I can't figure out how to play the dating game. It is so frustrating because no one else seems to have issues getting into relationships.

I think I am really depressed. I start crying for seemingly no reason and can't stop myself until three or four hours has passed quite often.

I am sure I am leaving things out. I also feel like I'm sounding super "first world problems"-like right now since these aren't nearly as severe as problems others deal with.

I dunno, where do you even start explaining what you want to talk about when it's not just one thing?

[Petra5ed]

Great question! And I wish I had asked this when I started.

You start... slowly. Slowly. Don't forget it! You are right you cant solve it all over night. Your T cant even solve it for you. What you want to do is build a relationship of mutual trust. The relationship is what will help, not the therapists advice. You have to trust me on this.

Don't rush. See different therapists until you find one you like that you "click" with. Let the relationship develop naturally. Maybe pick the top priority issues each week and stick to those.

[Leah123]

There are a couple schools of thought on this: one is to start with the most serious issue first, the other is to start with the easiest first. Depends on how damaging/dangerous the issues are and which one suits your personality best.

Looking at your list- I'd say the central one is a lack of self esteem. Once you feel understood and comfortable, it would help the other issues, like wanting to socialize, have an intimate relationship, control your eating, focus better etc.

Of course depends on the severity: if you actually have serious eating disorder symptoms (I can't tell if you're hyperbolizing a bit or not) then you might want to start there if it's harming you.

But probably the best answer is to find a therapist you respect and trust who's worked with many people who have some of your issues and collaborate with them on a treatment plan, they should be personalized for sure. Good luck!

[musinglizzy]

Several issues going on with me, too, and my T just guided me to where she thought was best to go first, when I didn't know myself. I think/hope your T will help you with that.

[feralkittymom]

That's the beauty of therapy: you don't have to decide, you don't have to be organized. All you have to do is just start communicating. What you're focusing on as your many concerns is probably not how your therapist would listen to you. They're usually listening for patterns of thought and feeling, and they could be on the surface or under the surface. It's not that the surface content doesn't matter, just that they're listening beyond the content, too. Therapy isn't linear; it's a more recursive process.

[glitterrosez89]

I don't know if I really have an eating disorder. I don't think I do. I think I just eat too much. Part of the reason, though, is I get lightheaded and feel like I am going to pass out if I go more than a couple of hours without eating. A lot of the time, I feel like it has to be a specific type of food too, like I *need* something sweet, or I *need* something salty. I thought maybe I had a blood sugar problem, but my blood sugar always checks out normally at the doctor's office and with my home blood sugar monitor.

[Favorite Jeans]

You know that expression "how you do anything is how you do everything" ?

I think often in therapy working through any issue impacts how you deal with every issue. So if you focus on learning not to catastrophize, you will learn how to be more self-accepting, how to get some distance from your anxiety, how to refocus your expectations etc. Those skills and insights can impact all your other issues as well.

That doesn't mean that you won't gain anything from addressing each issue individually but that you can experience healing and improvement on several fronts without having to wait years. Also treating depression, makes everything else so much more manageable.

[glitterrosez89]

Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans

You know that expression "how you do anything is how you do everything" ?

I think often in therapy working through any issue impacts how you deal with every issue. So if you focus on learning not to catastrophize, you will learn how to be more self-accepting, how to get some distance from your anxiety, how to refocus your expectations etc. Those skills and insights can impact all your other issues as well.

That doesn't mean that you won't gain anything from addressing each issue individually but that you can experience healing and improvement on several fronts without having to wait years. Also treating depression, makes everything else so much more manageable.

Yes, this makes sense. I wish I could remember what it's like to not be depressed and to respond to things normally rather than completely freaking out. I hate feeling like a crazy person.