[lilypup]

My old T of 13 years died in a boating accident about 4 years ago. I went without a T for 3 years. I decided to find a new T, and I went to his old group and found a new one. We've been getting along great.
So last session she says to me "How did you handle Dr. Smith's death?" I told her I was shocked but the funeral service was lovely and I missed him but that we had done a lot of good work together, etc.
Well, she proceeds to totally DUMP on me all of her feelings about his death. How close they were and her desperate panic at him being gone and blah, blah. It made me feel incredibly awkward. I had no idea what to say.
I miss him too but it has been 4 years.
I don't want to leave her over this, but she seemed kind of unstable.
What do you think?

[Leah123]

I don't know if she was trying to help you feel comfortable expressing deeper grief and more of your reaction, or if she just happens to be an emotional person, or if she happens to need to work through it more, hopefully not.

Maybe you could ask what prompted that sharing and tell her how you felt.

[WePow]

wow... she was not using your time for you....

[NowhereUSA]

yikes.

i've been with my current t for over five years. if he were to suddenly open up this much, i'd be okay because i feel comfortable with him, but that's five years of history with my t. if this had been within the first couple years i might have been like 'uh... so... can i get a referral?'

[clairelisbeth]

Eek….sounds pretty unprofessional…..

[HazelGirl]

Eek! It's possible she thought you would be comfortable engaging on that level, but I think it's definitely something to bring up and talk about. Wow.

[Crescent Moon]

That really is awkward. If she's a good, healthy therapist (and this could be the litmus test), but you should be able to bring up how awkward it was for you to have her bring her grief and angst into your therapy session. She could then step back, take a look at what she did, acknowledge that it was unprofessional of her, and apologize. She ought to be able to 'take' anything you need to say about it.

If you don't talk to her about it, it could cause you trouble in the relationship. If you do talk and it goes well, it could really enhance the relationship. If she reacts badly, then that's probably your cue to go on a new therapist-hunt.