[HazelGirl]

I gave my T the picture I painted for her, and she seemed to really love it. I was so nervous because I was worried she might reject it or something. But she said she was either going to put it in her living room or in her bedroom. So I guess she really liked it. Whenever she sees any of my paintings, she always comments on how fine the details are, and I finally gave her the trick on how to make them that fine, haha. I'm very happy that she liked it

We also talked about my father and the stress I have been under recently, and my fears relating to that situation. I am still afraid, but my T and I discussed the likelihood of various different things happening, and she said some interesting things.

One thing that stood out was that we were discussing the chances of my brother having a variety of different responses to my father's manipulations, and my T said that sometimes when abused children grow up and live with their aging abusers, the tables become turned. Because the formerly abused child is now stronger and bigger than the abusing parent, sometimes the child becomes the abusing parent and the parent becomes the abused child. The roles are reversed and due to the child's PTSD (and subsequent fight or flight response around their formerly abusing parents), a lot of elder abuse happens. This was absolutely fascinating to me. Although I don't necessarily want anything horrible to happen to my father (no one deserves to be abused), I wouldn't feel sadness or compassion towards him if anything did. He chose to abuse and if he gets abuse in return, that's his own fault.

We also talked about how the likelihood of my father trying to come to my house or work was very slim, based on his recent past (the past several years) of not reaching out or trying to contact me at all. But that he is also very unpredictable, so we can never know for sure.

Overall, I guess it was an okay session. I wish we had a little more time today. I don't feel like I talked about it enough. Which is funny because I started our conversation about all this with "I don't really know what there is to say." And now I feel like I have way too much to say.

[growlycat]

That is very interesting about the reversal-of-fortune in regards to abusive parents and offspring. I haven't heard that before but it completely makes sense.

Your brother and dad living together may create a situation where they are so caught up in other's drama that maybe they will leave you alone?

[sweepy62]

Im so happy you had your session, and she loved your painting, I was thinking of you yesterday, I know how much you were looking foward to this session. I started my session the same way, I said I dont know what to say. LOL.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by growlycat

That is very interesting about the reversal-of-fortune in regards to abusive parents and offspring. I haven't heard that before but it completely makes sense.

Your brother and dad living together may create a situation where they are so caught up in other's drama that maybe they will leave you alone?

I hadn't heard of it before, either. But it is definitely very interesting! I was absolutely fascinated with the idea that the tables could be turned like that, especially because my brother learned from my father how to force people to do what you want by being physically powerful. Now that my brother is more powerful than my father, the same thing may happen there.

Originally Posted by sweepy62

Im so happy you had your session, and she loved your painting, I was thinking of you yesterday, I know how much you were looking foward to this session. I started my session the same way, I said I dont know what to say. LOL.

When my T brought up the stuff about my father, I was so resistant to talking about it. I really didn't know what to say, at first, though. And I am not really sure if talking about any of it helped a lot, but at least I was able to get out a few of my fears and concerns to her.

Very happy she liked your painting, i thought it was beautiful too. And i know what you mean about not feeling you talked enough, sometimes i get that on days when im really depressed and just dont have the energy or motivation to talk.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by 8888an8888

Very happy she liked your painting, i thought it was beautiful too. And i know what you mean about not feeling you talked enough, sometimes i get that on days when im really depressed and just dont have the energy or motivation to talk.

I guess I feel like I talked about the things I didn't really want to talk about and didn't talk about the ones I needed to. But I don't even really know what it was I needed to talk about, but whatever it was, I haven't yet.