I've tried looking it up but I can't seem to understand the way its worded. Its in relation to my decision to re-try EMDR (I have had to cancel) for CSA and my T said my recent sexual activity was acting out. I don't know when I'll see him again and my memory sucks so I'll prob forget anyway.
Cheers

[HazelGirl]

Acting out can be a number of things. Three that come immediately to mind are:

1. A way to distract from your problems (working a lot, getting into intense romantic relationships, etc...)
2. A way to cope with your problems (drinking, cutting, etc...)
3. A way to avoid dealing with problems in therapy (lying, refusing to talk about some things, making therapy about other people rather than yourself, etc...)

I'm sure there's more ways to use that phrase, though.

[Tongalee]

When I think of this phrase being used by my therapist, it is always during a time when I've chosen to do something that I know may not be good for me. She says that I sometimes act out to either prove that I can do that which people/ society has told me not to, or to try to get some needed attention.

One example that I have is riding my bike too fast and standing up on it while it is still in fast motion. My t asked me why I was telling her that this was something that I did, and my response was because I thought you might like to know. She told me that I seemed to be doing dangerous things (she listed off a few others) and letting her know about them as a plea to get her to respond. She said that I was actively seeking out someone to care about my life and what happened to/in it. She then told me that if I needed her attention, "acting out" was not the best way to do so, though she could understand how that seemed the best option at the time.

I don't know if this will help, but that's what I think of.

[growlycat]

I've always seen acting out as any behavior that substitutes for talking about what is really bothering me. Agreed, it is usually an impulsive not-so-good-for-me kind of action.

[Tongalee]

What was it about your activity that he saw to be acting out if you don't mind me asking?

[Favorite Jeans]

It sounds like a really patronizing term to me. Like something you'd say about a child. If a T I otherwise liked suggested that I was acting out I think I'd need to tell them that they were overstepping. If a new T said it I'd be out the door.

If your T thinks that your sexual choice was a poor one, she could ask what was going on when you made that choice, how it made you feel, whether you feel it's at all in response to your work on CSA etc. Pronouncing a client's behaviour "acting out" has a ring of judgment and condescension to it that I wouldn't be able to tolerate.

[growlycat]

FJ you make a good point-- I don't think a T has said I was "acting out" since my late teens. None have said anything close since then.

[growlithing]

Last year, I got upset when school T was leaving so I progressively did odd things and I'm not really sure why. I hid under her desk, rearranged the furniture, moved paintings around, sat on the floor, knock over empty trash cans. Stupid crap. She seemed to like that I was doing that because she felt like I was communicating my feelings. LCM disagreed a lot and thought school T should have encouraged me to speak about my feelings as opposed to "acting out".

I would imagine your T thought you made a poor choice sexually. Idk though.

Originally Posted by Tongalee

What was it about your activity that he saw to be acting out if you don't mind me asking?

I don't know exactly but I was telling him that every time we close to discussing it my menstrual cycle changes and I feel like having sex with everybody. He asked if I acted on these feelings this time and I said once or twice. He then wrote something in my notes and the said something about acting out. That was the end of the sex related part of the conversation.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

I don't know exactly but I was telling him that every time we close to discussing it my menstrual cycle changes and I feel like having sex with everybody. He asked if I acted on these feelings this time and I said once or twice. He then wrote something in my notes and the said something about acting out. That was the end of the sex related part of the conversation.

Maybe he thought it was bipolar related? (Since your name is "Bipolarartist" I am going to guess you have bipolar disorder.) So maybe he thought it was an indication that you were manic or hypomanic?

[IndestructibleGirl]

I disliked the term acting out when I first came across it, but then I actually came round to thinking it's quite a good descriptor for what it can represent. So when you feel horrendous and do stuff like drink too much or have risky sex or drive too fast - acting the pain or rage out, outside of the self, outside of sitting paralyzed in a stew of pain and rage and despair. Usually because you feel you will be torn apart if you don't take SOME kind of action.

[sweepy62]

I act out by not doing assignments, skipping a session , or being purposely avoidant in session .

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[BadWolf]

Behavior that is used to communicate something to the therapist, because you can't put it into words.

[archipelago]

I can see how "acting out" is both pejorative and also useful as a term. I can't exactly see why a therapist would use the term with a client though. It seems to just judge something or label it in a negative way rather than perform a helpful function. And in this case having sex once or twice even though having stronger feelings than that makes it even less clear why that term would be used.

It is like just saying that you are using a defense mechanism (which acting out is usually considered to be) but not being specific, concrete, exploratory about whatever is going on. The fact that you are posting about it shows that it was not a good intervention to me. Maybe exploring it on your own or being asked to reflect on your situation might result in something good. If that was its intention, it seems to be a round about way to do something useful.

[Perna]

Article I found really helpful to my understanding: Acting Out | Psychology Today