[A18793715]

I know I've been posting a lot. I'm just excited that I actually found these forums. I've been looking for an active mental health forum for years now but I guess I was looking too specific of my condition. Y'all are super active and that makes me so happy. I came here and read threads for hours. Reading other people's posts is what ultimately gave me the courage to find a therapist. I use the psychology today site because I like the idea of being able to read about a therapist instead of going to a absolutely stranger that I know absolutely nothing other than the name. But the thing is, I found only one on that site that is perfect. He takes my primary as well as Medicaid for my secondary. His office is in my city which is important because I'm in the process of applying for a bus service for the elderly and disabled since I hate driving and I need a constant, reliable source and I currently don't have one. And under his topics, he has psychosis listed. Like no other therapist that takes Medicaid in my city, on that site, doesn't have that listed and I want a therapist who is capable and knows how to deal with psychosis and delusions and paranoia. On Monday, I called and the first time, it went to the voicemail after two rings and the voicemail said to press 5 to leave a callback number. Well I went to do that but my cheek hung up my phone. (Touchscreen). And so I called back a few minutes later and he answered and asked if he could call me back because he was in a session. I gave him my name and number. A lady called me a hour later and got down my insurance information and she said he would call me back in just a bit. I waited by my phone until 6. I had already began to worry that I upset him for interrupting his session. Maybe he answered because he thought I was one of his current patients calling from a unknown number with an emergency or something. I called him back on wed and got voicemail. I left a message telling him I called on Monday and asked him if he could call me back when he has a chance. It's now 23 minutes into Friday. My anxiety is killing me. If he doesn't call me today, I think I might end up chickening out if he called me some time next week. Or possibly never. My brain is just going on and on with endless possibilities and my anxiety has been making it hard to breathe all week, even with my meds that I take 4 times a day. What if he got annoyed that I called twice in a row and doesn't want a annoying patient? I seriously am on the verge of a panic attack by this sentence.

[growlycat]

Welcome!!!

I think it is great that you called this therapist back. Maybe try one more time before giving up? I wouldn't take it personally; you don't know if he took time off or was really busy and frazzled.

Hope you give it another try!!

[kraken1851]

Yes, do give it another try! But also be prepared to give another t a chance, even if at first sight they don't look perfect.

With mine, I wasn't sure initially. I mean, after the first few sessions I knew I didn't "hate" him and that I would be able to work with him - but I thought it was a 70% match at best. But over time, this really developed into a great therapeutic relationship. I trust him and he's helping me a lot, even if it's a slow and painful process.

So I'm not saying just go ahead and pick anyone, but these relationships need time to develop. So even if someone doesn't appear perfect, they may turn out to be a real gem.

On the other hand, don't stick with someone who seems like they should be a perfect match, but who you absolutely don't feel comfortable with.

I know you probably want to get started as soon as possible. But be prepared that it may take a little more time before you have found a t. The thing is, don't think of the time you spend looking for someone as "wasted". This may sound a bit lame, but the fact that you're doing this is already an important step - you're taking action to get help. You are actively taking responsibility for your well-being. For me that was already a significant change and it also involved figuring out what I wanted from a therapist and for myself (and these were tiny things at first like: realizing that if I email someone and they don't respond within a week or so, they're not the right match, however well they looked on paper; realizing that my reluctance to work with a female t is something I should respect and not try to ignore, etc.).

[A18793715]

I swore I would never see a male therapist but he's the only one that I know can deal and help with psychosis. That's my main problem. I hear voices 24/7. I have visuals from time to time. My paranoia is horrible. No meds work. I don't want to go to someone who hasn't had experience with schizophrenia patients

[sailorboy]

There are a LOT of therapists who aren't listed on websites at all. Who do you see for your meds? I'd look into other methods of selecting a therapist if this one doesn't pan out.

[precaryous]

Hi, welcome!

I agree with others who say to give that therapist another try before moving on to someone else. I also imagine that some of those other therapists on psychology today do treat psychosis even though it's not listed on the website. You may want to interview a few before you decide.

I also am disabled and have Medicaid as a secondary insurance. It isn't easy finding good private therapists who take our insurance, is it? I usually start there...considering therapists who take my insurances. Then further considerations are gender, locality and therapy style.

Let us know how it goes!

[A18793715]

It's 7:35pm and Friday. I'll call again on Monday but this is horribly disheartening.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by A18793715

It's 7:35pm and Friday. I'll call again on Monday but this is horribly disheartening.

I agree, it's not a good start. I'm sorry he hasn't gotten back to you yet.

[A18793715]

I'm worried by the time Monday at 6 rolls around and I get no call that I'll lose all courage and will.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by A18793715

I'm worried by the time Monday at 6 rolls around and I get no call that I'll lose all courage and will.

I know we've encouraged you to give him one more try...but you don't have to wait for him..

How do you feel about lining up a few more potential therapists this weekend and start calling for an appointment or two on Monday?

[A18793715]

I guess.

I'm so sorry to hear that he hasn't called back, how horrible to be waiting. I'm hoping on your behalf that he calls.

[kraken1851]

What precaryous said! It's a good idea to come up with a plan b and establish some other potential options.

[A18793715]

I've felt so horribly depressed and hurt since last night. I haven't slept yet. I guess I'll start looking again after I'm able to sleep.