[Tongalee]

Just cried in therapy?

For some reason I'm feeling emotionally drained right now and am feeling like I could use a good cry. I don't let myself do this often, but I feel that that is because I've never had a safe space to do it in other than my car on the back roads. My t once offered me a fort making session that could be my safe place within a safe place. I didn't take her up on the idea at the time, but have been thinking about it now and wonder if it might be okay to ask to do that and crawl in and bawl all hour.

I feel weird asking for something like this, not necessarily the forty masking, but more the crying. I'm not sure if I want her to see me cry, or if that is even an appropriate way to spend a session. I'm not a child and though I know these are not child strict feelings, I feel like what I want is childish.

Has anyone asked to just cry all session? Or, have there been other things you thought would be inappropriate but t said it was fine?

[coolibrarian]

You don't need to ask if you can cry all session. It's your time. Just cry. Hugs.

[silver tree]

I do cry in therapy but I do my best to hold it in or stop myself. It is strange to cry in front of people, I think.

I do think that letting go and crying is a good thing though so if you are feeling you want to then I think that you should. If you feel having somewhere to go and do that is best for you, then do that. I am sure lots of people have lost it in front of their T's and she has supported people through all sorts so...

x

[Tongalee]

The major concern that I have is that we have a plan already set for tomorrow and I don't want her to think that I am resisting having this conversation with her.

[Bipolarchic14]

Funny you should ask that...I hate crying in front of others too. Last week in therapy without warning I started crying for the first time. I spent most of the hour staring at the clock not really able to speak, trying to fight back tears. It felt really weird having a stranger sit across from me, just staring...I wanted to be like stop looking at me. So you don't really need to plan for if you need to cry do so. The worse part for me, is going back this week..I am embarrassed and afraid it will happen again. Good luck.

[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by Tongalee

The major concern that I have is that we have a plan already set for tomorrow and I don't want her to think that I am resisting having this conversation with her.

Are you resisting?

[silver tree]

Originally Posted by Tongalee

The major concern that I have is that we have a plan already set for tomorrow and I don't want her to think that I am resisting having this conversation with her.

I think crying is more of a spontaneous thing really? I am not sure I could 'plan' to cry.

[Leah123]

I've spent a lot of time crying in therapy, sobbing, wailing, tearing up, you name it. My therapist considers it very healing and and encourages it.

I don't think crying is always spontaneous. Sometimes I walk around wanting to cry but it's not a good time: I have to work, take care of my kiddo, make dinner, you know how it is, and don't give in to the impulse. So, when therapy rolls around, sometimes I kinda am ready for a good cry. My T always says the loveliest things, like she'll hold my tears for me, doesn't want me to have to cry alone, etc.

She even sent me a link to an old sitcom where the main character needed a good cry so she banished her husband for a while, turned on some sad music and let that prompt her to get it all out.

So, I think crying is an excellent use of a therapy session, I've found it very relieving. Crying is a good stress reliever too, here's a little article on it: http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/crying1.htm As for the other topic you'd planned, there's nothing to stop you talking about it next week: not like you're going to cry and quit, is it.

[Tongalee]

I feel like I need to plan it out, if I didn't I would have no control over it. My t says this is something I need to let go of, learn to be in control without limiting myself to what I think is normal.

I don't think that I'm resisting, but I think knowing the possible emotional outcome of this conversation had died up a lot of anxiety. T knows this and we are working on grounding and calming practices. However, I'm just drained at this point. I need a long nap or perhaps a good night's sleep, but I'll receive neither before seeing t. This has left me teary and overly emotional.

[Tongalee]

Originally Posted by Leah123

As for the other topic you'd planned, there's nothing to stop you talking about it next week: not like you're going to cry and quit, is it.

Haha, well that would depend on the extent of the tears

[silver tree]

You sound like you have an awful lot of pent up emotion honey?

I would say that your T will probably bring it up anyway so maybe when they do, do your best to talk about that? It sounds like it is maybe unavoidable in the long run and that atm you are doing your best to hold it all in. So with that in mind, maybe the sooner the better?

I hope you manage to at least start to talk about it x

[Tongalee]

Maybe I am resisting because now I'm beginning to panic! What if my t gets mad? What if I start and can't stop before our time is done?

[silver tree]

I wouls say that the last thing that your T would feel, in the presence of theri severely distressed patient, is anger. Please don't let things like that worry you

I am guessing that if you are in crisis that they help and will know what to do. But that is all the things that you will discuss with them in the planning stage? x

[HazelGirl]

What if you start and can't stop? Then what? What's the worst that could happen?

And what if she's angry? Have you ever honestly looked at someone who was genuinely crying and been angry or upset at them for it? I would hope not, unless it triggered something in you. Your T won't respond in anger because it's her job to deal with people's emotions.

[Tongalee]

No I have not looked upon someone who was upset at felt angry, but if your are only given a certain amount of time with someone and they can't pull themselves together that could push back her whole day. She doesn't let me leave if I'm upset because I dissociate and don't remember things.

[silver tree]

I have worked in the medical profession for years and I have had plenty of times when things don't go to 'plan' or someone is distressed and this has made us run late. Tbh though, this is very secondary to making sure that the patient is alright and happy and I believe this to be the case for most people in whatever job they do. I really wouldn't worry about it too much. I am sure she will tell you herself, that is what she is there for x

[stopdog]

I have never ever known a person in the so called health care/medical profession to care if a client is happy or not. And they always seem to impose their concept of what is all right on the client rather than figuring out what it would be to the client to be that way.

I think the fear of not being able to stop or not being able to get back to where one started to be a very valid concern. I also think therapists love it when clients cry. I have never cried around a therapist. It is your time you are paying for. I don't think one needs to ask permission of a therapist for anything, but certainly not how to spend the time at the appointment. OP - good luck with it.

[Tongalee]

I'm not sure if she necessarily cares whether it not I'm happy, but she does have concern about my safety and the safety of others. It is always in her best interest to at least attempt to bring me back to a present state of mind.

As for her being there, I'm sure that she would be understanding though I feel/would feel like such a burden in this situation. The emotions are mine and a waste of her time and get other clients time as well.

[emptyspace]

my philosophy on therapy is that it is for all feelings.
sometimes i cry constantly. sometimes i just cry when we are discussing a topic that is hard/sad/distressing.

i dont plan to cry, i just do.

i think it is very healing if you have been hurt alot.
also, if no-one cared when you were a kid, having a therapist be with you in that crying moment is really powerful

[HazelGirl]

But that's your perception, and it's most likely not hers. Your perception is that you are a burden and a waste of time. She doesn't see you like that, I guarantee it.

[Tongalee]

Have you ever asked your t straight it if she thought you were a burden?

[silver tree]

She chose that career and it pays her wages! It is not a case of 'burden' imo

I think you are transferring the things you are actually upset about onto this tbh honey x

[Tongalee]

Tbh? What does this mean?

[Leah123]

tbh = to be honest

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by Tongalee

Have you ever asked your t straight it if she thought you were a burden?

Yes, many times. And the answer has always been no.