[Bells129]

Today I found my T's facebook, as well as a group she's a member of, and I feel awful about it to be honest. Talking about it with her is out of the question, I can't risk our relationship being damaged by something like this when I'm just starting to respond to therapy and make progress. Do you think it's reasonable to feel guilty about this? It is in the public, all I had to do was search her name and the town she works in and then there we are, after all.

I'm sure I've done a thread about this before, sorry, but I hadn't actually found any info about her at that point. So does anyone else do this, and how do you feel about it?

[stopdog]

I don't use on Facebook for any reason, but no, I would not feel guilty. Looking stuff up that one has not hacked into is not cause for guilt in my opinion.

[HazelGirl]

No, I do not. She has everything hidden, but it doesn't matter. I don't really feel guilty.

[Leah123]

I look her up online for information and comfort. I've told her all about it. It had zero negative impact on our relationship.

This topic has been discussed a great deal on this forum, here are some examples:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...light=facebook

http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...therapist.html

http://forums.psychcentral.com/roman...-creeping.html

http://forums.psychcentral.com/roman...erapist+online

http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...light=facebook

http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...light=facebook

No, but I wouldn't tell him in case it made him feel uncomfortable. It is nice to see a picture of him looking natural and happy instead of his posed website pic.

[Bells129]

Originally Posted by Leah123

I look her up online for information and comfort. I've told her all about it. It had zero negative impact on our relationship.

This topic has been discussed a great deal on this forum, here are some examples:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...light=facebook

http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...therapist.html

http://forums.psychcentral.com/roman...-creeping.html

http://forums.psychcentral.com/roman...erapist+online

http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...light=facebook

http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...light=facebook

Thanks for your answers, I feel a bit better about it. Thanks for the links Leah.

[Lauliza]

If the information is available to view without doing anything illicit, then no I would not feel guilty. I don't think it's unreasonable that you do feel this way, you are just being mindful of your T's privacy. But in general the rule of thumb is that if it's online then it's public, so no need to feel guilty or like you need to tell your T. I'm sure other clients have looked at her page as well- it's just normal curiosity

[tealBumblebee]

I don't feel any guilt because I found her facebook before my first appointment and I really wanted to see what she looked like. Most of her stuff is private though, so *shrug* but I saw some nice stuff. It still didn't help me though because she looks a bit different then her photos. Now that I know her, and we have a pleasant and open relationship, I really have no need to look on her facebook and stuff, so I don't. I've googled her and realized that i'm not comfortable with that either, but she's addressed the things i've googled and wondered (without knowing I knew the information already) so we have a pretty transparent relationship unnecessary of further digging.

[rainbow8]

Yes I used to look at my T's FB page a lot but I'm not sure guilt was my first feeling. It was PAIN! It hurt me more than it hurt her. Seeing her with her kids and reading comment to her made me cry because she has a life I'm not part of. I told her I looked her up.

What I feel guilty about is looking up her H and their adult children. I told her that too. I feel awful about it and it didn't help me feel less guilty. I think I look because I want to be close to T but I've found that she and I can be close without the snooping.

I never told her that I saw some YouTube's of her kids. I feel very guilty about that. She herself doesn't have much on FB and doesn't care if I look. We both know it just makes me feel bad.

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by Bells129

Today I found my T's facebook, as well as a group she's a member of, and I feel awful about it to be honest. Talking about it with her is out of the question, I can't risk our relationship being damaged by something like this when I'm just starting to respond to therapy and make progress. Do you think it's reasonable to feel guilty about this? It is in the public, all I had to do was search her name and the town she works in and then there we are, after all.

I'm sure I've done a thread about this before, sorry, but I hadn't actually found any info about her at that point. So does anyone else do this, and how do you feel about it?

i dont feel guilty at all.

[Puglife]

Originally Posted by Echos Myron

No, but I wouldn't tell him in case it made him feel uncomfortable. It is nice to see a picture of him looking natural and happy instead of his posed website pic.

Ditto. He would probably be shocked by some of the info I have been able to find out but I don't plan to tell him.

[msxyz]

No, I don't feel guilty, why should I? Public information is fair game.

When I told my therapist I found his Facebook he asked me when I looked at it because he just changed his profile picture.

[RTerroni]

I still look at the Facebook page of a former Therapist of mine from time to time and never feel any guilt in looking at it.

[Willowleaf]

I had never thought to google mine until she said something presuming I had! She said all clients ought to check out their therapists and their credentials etc. I said how would I do that and she said to just google her name. I did then but very little came up. I certainly didn't feel guilty. If you have a Facebook page it is the owners job to either ensure it is very private or be prepared to have everyone and anyone look at it

[healed84]

Nope! For two reasons: 1- he has told me he has fixed his privacy settings with his clients looking for him on purpose, so what he has on there he doesn't mind if his client sees. 2- he has admitted to looking at my fb page as well..

[Mikeyboy]

Her facebook didn't come up in a search on FB, but I googled her before our first appointment and found her facebook through a google search result. I always look anyone I'm going to be meeting up online, I want to know what they look like before we meet. I look up HR reps and recruiters and managers I'm going to be meeting for job interviews, Doctors I'm going to for a medical appointment, et cetera. I don't feel guilty about it, I don't feel as though I've done anything wrong if I simply find a search result in google.

[roimata]

I deactivated my facebook early this year and haven't had one since, but when I did, I would look up her page and her husband's page quite regularly. Hers is locked down but sometimes her husband would post things publicly, and you can see what they have commented on/what pictures they're tagged in via the search feature.

I used to feel guilty about it until I realized that I have no real reason to feel that way. I have/had no intentions to do ill with the information I was provided, I have never overstepped any boundaries of any kind etc. I'm just a snoopy person and I was curious about this person with whom I share a lot of personal details, but am not allowed to know very much about. So I did my own "finding out" to strengthen that connection.

You shouldn't feel guilty.

[lunatic soul]

No, never.

[sweepy62]

No I would not, they know social media is public and clients are curious ( not all ) anyway, there are measures to use privacy settings. If they don't, it's on them.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

No. T invited me on her facebook page so i could see pictures there and see when she is online so i would feel more secure.

[tinyrabbit]

Originally Posted by Starry_Night

No. T invited me on her facebook page so i could see pictures there and see when she is online so i would feel more secure.

That seems unusual for a T...

[ombrétwilight]

I don't feel guilty but I do feel like a stalker LOL. My T doesn't have FB (or is completely privatised) and I can't find her AT ALL online. Like a Google search reveals absolutely nothing. It's like she has no web presence other than on my school's webpage. I must admit to stalking her very active colleagues' pages though to sieve for information and sometimes I get lucky. I think this is something a lot of therapy patients do, though we feel super self-conscious about it.

Nothing wrong with searching as long as it's not hacking!

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

That seems unusual for a T...

My brother in law and his T were friends on Facebook and they also occasionally met socially. Therapy had a huge positive impact on him so I guess she knew what she was doing. She is a one off though.
(Just to explain my brother in law died last year and we met her at his funeral. We've been in touch since)

[Bipolarchic14]

I don't feel guilty. If I am going to share my issues with someone, for pay or not, I want to know more about them! If they don't like that, move me on to someone new and get out of the profession!

[thickntired]

I was referred to my T by a friend from AA. This friend kept calling me drunk. One night I asked her about my T because they used to work together. Totally inappropriate of me I know! I felt sneaky but not evil because it wasn't like I asked for gossip i can use against her, and she knows all my embarrassing stuff. Actually, it's a little easier to open up because I know a couple on the surface items about her. It is really awkward to straight out ask a T about their life, and if they talk about it that's unprofessional. Sometimes the lack of "Oh yeah me too" makes me feel like a freak. It just made her more of a real person, but now I have to be really careful and not slip and say something I know.