[SometimesSad]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure whether I should've introduced myself properly somewhere else before posting, so I hope it's okay I'm writing this anyway. My apologies in advance for any mistakes in my use of language; English is not my mothertongue.

I have suffered from recurring Major Depressive Disorder for five years now, with the last episode lasting from september 2013 until now (though I'm feeling much better!). The treatment I have received during this most recent episode has been absolutely perfect; it is as if I can finally 'start over' again after struggling with this for the past few years.
The therapist I have been seeing for the past nine months (I didn't seek help immediately after noticing my mood spiralling downwards) is still in training, and he will be finishing his training very soon. Because of this reason, he will not be working at the mental health centre anymore as of next week - it was a kind of long internship.
He actually stopped working there already a month ago, but he wanted to finish my treatment (16 sessions) anyway, so I really appreciated that.

The thing is, I'm sure (and afraid) I will miss him a lot. I'm not sure if I'm experiencing transference - I've been reading through posts on this forum a lot the past couple of weeks -, but I am really dreading our next and last appointment. I wish we could have met under different circumstances, not sure if that's terribly weird...

I don't actually know what I'm trying to say here... Maybe I'm asking for advice; has anyone experienced something similar? Any tips for dealing with the sadness after the last session? I don't want to tell him about it to be honest, it would only make things unnecessarily complicated.

Thanks in advance for any replies.

I think it's okay to tell him you are sad the sessions are over and that you will miss him... You don't have to go into the whole transference thing.

[Restin]

If there's really no way to continue with him, I would say you should not try to deny how sad you feel. Usually people feel loyal and like no- one else will do ever. With that in mind, find a therapist to help you with this disappointment and grief. I do think there may be some transference in it, but still, you can't stop his leaving. I've been through similar and it's hard to get through it, I know. But continuing in therapy helped me, too.

It seems to me that yours is a perfectly normal response to saying goodbye to someone who helped you and who showed regard for your well being. People interpret transference differently, but (without knowing more) this doesn't sound like that at all. If you were trying to re-enact rejection or abandonment, then that would be more along the lines of transference. Be glad you were able to connect with someone who, from your description, is a kind and competent professional.

You sound like you're doing great, other than this ending. Try to build on that, and if you have friends, connect with them to fill the void. I don't think there's any way to not feel sadness over this.

[Bentay]

I'm sorry ur finding the ending difficult. I ended with my T in April (after 2 years) & what helped me was not stopping suddenly (like going from 1 session per week to 0). I requested my T to consider staggering the ending after we had terminated (which he did). So we had 2/3 further sessions 4/6 weeks apart & that really helped me come to terms with the end of a very important relationship which profoundly changed my life.

I don't think there's anything wrong with letting ur T know ur sad & to help u process the ending. Good luck

[SometimesSad]

Thank you all so much for your replies. A new morning has come in the meantime, and I'm enjoying the fresh air instead of lingering around the uncertainties about next Thursday. Hopefully I'll stay relatively positive

licketysplit - your brief explanation makes me think there's not really any transference going on. I sometimes have trouble identifying feelings (and feeling them), and I think the sadness is not unusual indeed.

Restin - I'm not 100% sure that there's not a way I can continue seeing him, but the chances are great that I won't see him again. I just have to come to terms with it, and indeed learn that it's okay to talk with my friends about stuff that's bothering me.

Bentay - I'm very glad to hear your T was such a positive influence in your life! The solution you came up with (staggering the ending) sounds like a good one in your situation. Unfortunately due to a couple of factors (T finishing his training, 'bound' to a maximum of 16 IPT & CBT sessions) this won't be possible in my case, but it's a good thing to keep in mind for future situations.

Readytostop & others - I'm not sure whether I dare to let my T know about my sadness, but maybe it will help to get this out of my system a bit quicker. I'll definitely let him know about my appreciation for his help though!

Thanks again
Hug

[SometimesSad]

I want you to know I'm really thankful for your replies!

Maybe I'll tell T about my sadness, it's probably a normal emotion but I'm not that familiar with identifying normal/unusual emotions yet (it's a long process). I'll definitely let him know about my appreciation for his help, though.
I'll reply somewhat more comprehensively later this day, but for now, thanks!