Is it really necessary to quit therapy?

I see a lot of posts about when to terminate therapy, etc. And this might be a silly question, but is it really necessary to quit if you find it helpful? I mean, I've been going for about a year now, and it's enormously helpful in my life. I see it as something that could be helpful for years to come as I get into different relationships etc. I'm not thinking about quitting at all; actually, I'm thinking about just doing it for ages and ages. Is there anything wrong with that? I really don't even mind the idea of having a therapist for the rest of my life. I think it would greatly improve the quality of my life. Am I just being weak?!

(Hm, I bet therapists love ME as a client -- good money machine there, haha.) :-)

Back to being more serious: And, on a site note, how long have some of you been in therapy?

Thanks, Sidony

Hi
I personally don't think that you need to quit therapy if you find it has been helpful.
I have a friend who has been seeing a therapist for about 4 years now. At first, she needed to go to help her deal with issues she had but since then, she has been seeing her therapist every month. These sessions of hers are more like an update and dealing with small frustrations that occur. This has been very helpful for her so, having seen how she responds to her therapy sessions, I would recommend that others continue to work with a therapist they have built up a good relationship with...... even if it is long after their issues have been dealt with.

I have often wondered that very same question. My son has worked with the same pychologist for over six years. She is almost a part of our family in that the every three weeks visits are just part of our lives. My son is still benefiting as far as I can tell and I would guess that if he didn't need it anymore, the Dr. would let us know. ?? But I was just wondering myself if a person could become addicted to therapy and thus hang on for as long as the money holds out ??

So I don't have an answer to your question because I have the same question myself. Managed care aside .. because some insurance plans expect "cures" within a set amount of visits regardless .. But if you had the ability to pay .. and you found the work helpful .. why not ?? Does a person always have to be in a crisis in order to work with a professional who can help a person understand themselves better. ??

Good question - maybe others have more info . I know I wonder the same thing.

I:m in long term therapy. T and I both know my issues will not be resolved over night. T says it all depends from what level of "mental illness" you start from. But she did say I wont have the same need for her eventually. I always think of it as I am learning to ride a bycicle and she is holding me and running behind me but one day I will peddle faster and unaided then she will let go and I will be off.

I was in therapy for 9 years and moved to another state and got married so terminated :-) and then 9 years later I started again with the same therapist (her situation had changed too) for another nine years 1996-2005 and just terminated a couple summers ago when we both retired. I told her I was going to start therapy again in 2014 to keep the 9 year "plan" going :-) I will be 64 in 2014. If therapy helps, then it helps! But there is a big difference in how you feel now and how you and your therapist might feel in a few years and, theoretically, therapy is to help with "real" life and one should be getting more involved there and better functioning, etc. I guess the necessity in quitting therapy is a little like the necessity of not being a "professional student" :-) and never getting a "real" job but just going on for more and more schooling.

I've been going to therapy for.... oh wow - 14 years now. Is that a lot? It doesn't seem like it ... it's just part of my normal routine. I started going with my ex-husband when we first started dating, just to make sure we understood each other, and I just never stopped going.

There are times in my life when I really need it (during my divorce, when my husband has been going through difficult times) but most of the time, I keep going because it keeps me grounded.

Ew, if I think about how much money I must have spent on it, no wonder I'll never be able to switch insurance companies...

I have no intention of quitting therapy. For me, it's the same as going to the gym, except for your peace of mind.

Oo I love the gym analogy since I'm into exercise. :-) Just got back from my morning aerobics class. :-)

I'm glad to hear people do it for a long time since I'm planning on it. And maybe it IS like the professional student sort of thing, but I'm okay with that. I bet there's always something left to learn. And if therapy's an addiction, it's definitely the healthiest one I know. :-)

It's true that I could change how I feel eventually (though I can't picture that), but right now I'm keeping it and not thinking about ending it. I'm happy that's not too unusual! :-) Every day I find that it's helping me -- I notice just in the things I say to people (simple answers to questions) that I'm learning to communicate better (my goal in therapy is to learn to be closer to people -- I have a very difficult time really connecting with someone in a relationship).

Anyway, thanks for all the responses!
Sidony

Hi Lmo,

Love your gym analogy, too. I'm too embarrassed to say how long I've been attending therapy. After all this time, I still go through bouts of feeling shame about having to need therapy. It's that whole mental illness stigma thingy that causes it.

Personally, I believe as long as a person continues to gain a better understanding of themselves via therapy, then keep going for it. It's helped me deal with some very difficult life situations. Without it I don't think I would be here today.

Calm (still needs to work on that shame thing)

Hi,

There is no shame at all in going to therapy. If others don't understand, it is their problem.

I have no doubt I'll be going to therapy for years to come. I've been going for eight years and I'm still learning and growing.

Jan

ohhhhh... let's say about 20 some years of therapy and still going...

I have had alot of issues in my life.... A therapist has been my "support" post, I don't really have family... I have friends but sometimes you just "wana have fun".... anyway therapists have been there for guidance thru divorce, raising a child, job changes, carreer changes, house selling, parents deaths...

it just helps me...

sidony, this is such an interesting question. Right now therapy is helping me so much, I feel like I would never want to quit. But I don't know if my T is on board with that thought, lol. I still feel I have so much healing to do and so much to learn, that I want to keep on. I do have fears my T will want to terminate before I am ready.

I was in therapy with a social worker/counselor off and on for about 9 months. I remember asking her a couple of times if she thought I should keep seeing her, because I was not feeling like I was getting a lot of benefit. She replied that I could come as long as I felt it was helpful. That didn't seem to be a strong endorsement for continuation to me, and since I was not making the progress I wanted, I quit seeing her rather abruptly. Then I had a gap of about 6 months, then started with a new therapist who I've been with for 5 months and is soooo helpful. I feel like I've barely scratched the surface, but when I look back, I see I've accomplished a lot too.

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Calm said:
Love your gym analogy, too. I'm too embarrassed to say how long I've been attending therapy. After all this time, I still go through bouts of feeling shame about having to need therapy. It's that whole mental illness stigma thingy that causes it.

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There's no need to feel shame!!! But I can understand it. Would you believe I felt I didn't have a right to seek therapy because I wasn't struggling with major depression or phobias or something like that. I was/am just suffering from interpersonal relationship difficulties. I actually felt jealous of people who I thought were more deserving of help (people with more serious problems than mine). I felt like I was just being weak asking for help. But y'know, I do need help, and I'm going to take it. And I will be a better person for it. And so will you! There's no shame for us!!! :-)

Sidony

The way I see it, therapy is one of the bills that gets paid together with rent, utilities, etc. Just as I tend to my physical needs such as food, shelter, clothing, I tend to my emotional needs. If only it wasn't so costly! Costs me a pretty penny....I wouldn't give it up, uh oh. I can see myself being in therapy for many years to come...what with being a single mum raising them kids, I sure could use some support. Someone who is ALL MINE for the fifty minutes or so.

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withit said:
The way I see it, therapy is one of the bills that gets paid together with rent, utilities, etc.

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I'm looking at it exactly the same way! :-) When I start noticing that I'm spending out-of-control I never even look at the therapy bills. I look at what I'm spending to eat out or whether I'm buying too much stuff I don't really need. I don't even categorize therapy with that type of spending. The therapy cost is the largest amount of money that I'll never regret spending. :-) If I'm going to regret spending, it'll be on something like the expensive skirt I bought and then never wore because I decided it didn't look right and I couldn't take it back. :-) That's regret!

Sidony

Hi sidony,

Thanks for your kind reply. I've strugggled with shame issues on and off for a long time. I was taught growing up to be self-reliant and *STRONG*. I always saw it as a sign of weakness to seek help. It took quite sometime for me to admit to myself that I was losing it and seek help. It was the most difficult decision of my life. I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd be in therapy this long. I started therapy thinking it would last a few weeks and everything would be resolved. Well, in no way was anything resolved in a few weeks. Blew me away! So, I still have a therapist, and we're continuing to work on some severe problems I have that greatly impact my lifestyle and functioning. Time has sure flown by quickly.

Now, I'll continue trying to remember your words, "There's no shame for us."

Warm wishes for you,
Calm

OMG Calm!

I could've written that post myself. Word for word, feeling for feeling.

The only difference is I said three months tops...ten years later here I am.

Me too Guys!!

I agree with Calm and I always put off treatment because I always thought I could conquer anything by myself. I never needed anyone nor did I ever want their help. I felt that the information was always "out there" for the taking and that I was intelligent and able enough to help myself.

Guess it just got really out of my hands by the time I finally went, and I wanted someone on my "side" so that's what ultimately drove me in.

I have come to view therapy as such an essential of MY life in the normal and healthy functioning of my emotions. It's a place for me to help me look at things from the atypical lense I always look through. I was unprepared for the intense relationship that therapy presents but find it rather fun and indulgent so that keeps me going.

I joke with my t that I shall never leave therapy and I'll now always want to go through all of my ups and downs that life will eventually present to me. She said that was completely fine and that I amy need her more at some times and less at others and that she has some clients like this and will allow me whatever I want/need. I also fear though that she'll move or stop her small private practice. She assures me that if she's alive, she'll see me.

So yea, for now I can say I'll always go, just maybe it'll ebb and flow as to how much and how often...