[purplemystery]

The T that I terminated with when I graduated in May rarely gave me any of her personal opinions. But the one thing that she did make clear was that she did not think it was a good idea for me to go to the same school for my graduate degree as my undergrad. It has been on my mind quite a lot because though it's not a prestigious school, I think it is good for what I want to do, and it's cheap. She said she thinks it would be limiting for me, that there is so much else out there, and that people can get comfortable. I didn't tell her that through Google searching, I knew that she went to the same school as me for both her undergrad and grad degrees. So perhaps she regrets her decision.

Anyway, maybe this has an obvious answer: that I should only consider what's best for me. I thought I was being smart by choosing a school low in cost. But I respect her and her opinions a lot since I saw her as a parental figure... maybe going there would prevent self-growth. I keep thinking that if I went to the same place, she would be disappointed if she knew. I wish I could talk to her more about why she was so against me going there, but of course I can't now. Has anyone else's T gave an opinion that really affected you?

[IndestructibleGirl]

In your case, I wouldn't worry about the therapist being disappointed. But I would probably tend to agree that it helps you spread your wings more to go to different universities. I have been to three so far, head over heels in love with two of them, and got so much out of them all - even the one I didn't like.

[HazelGirl]

I would normally listen to someone who had experience in a certain situation. Your T has experience going to that school twice and recommends you don't. If I were you, I would consider that enough experience to listen to. But do I always take all of my T's advice? Absolutely not. She isn't me and she doesn't always know all of the dynamics I'm dealing with in all of my situations.

I give my T's opinions considerable weight but I know he doesn't know everything about me and he doesn't always know what's best for me. No one can know what's best for someone else. All you can do is make suggestions.

[stopdog]

Not much if any. I don't see her to get her opinion.

[scorpiosis37]

I would agree with your T on this issue. I've sat on search committees and I can tell you that, when we are hiring, it is considered a "negative" if a candidate went to the same University for their undergraduate and graduate education. They don't have the same breadth of knowledge as someone who went to two different Universities because they are not exposed to as many faculty, as many areas of expertise, as many disciplinary debates, etc. It also tends to signal that the candidate is "comfortable" at that U and did not have the drive or courage to really forge out on their own and find the best opportunities possible. This is even true of those who went to the same Ivy league school for both degrees.

When I was applying to graduate school, I got the same advice from my advisor. I wanted to go to the same University for my PhD, and my advisor strongly recommended against it. Now that I've finished my degree and am involved in hiring new faculty, I understand just how right she was!

I don't think this is an issue of "therapist" advice, though. I would take the advice because it is correct-- not because it comes from your therapist. I operate the same way when I am given advice by own therapist. I don't take it because she is my therapist. I evaluate it, just as I would if it came from my friend, my dad, my colleague, etc. If the advice makes sense and i agree with it, then I take it. If not, then I don't.

[Bells129]

I take my T's advice most of the time actually. This might sound bad, but I think because of the transference situation I do what she tells me and trust what she says more than I would most other people, and more than other therapists I've seen in the past.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by scorpiosis37

I would agree with your T on this issue. I've sat on search committees and I can tell you that, when we are hiring, it is considered a "negative" if a candidate went to the same University for their undergraduate and graduate education. They don't have the same breadth of knowledge as someone who went to two different Universities because they are not exposed to as many faculty, as many areas of expertise, as many disciplinary debates, etc. It also tends to signal that the candidate is "comfortable" at that U and did not have the drive or courage to really forge out on their own and find the best opportunities possible. This is even true of those who went to the same Ivy league school for both degrees.

When I was applying to graduate school, I got the same advice from my advisor. I wanted to go to the same University for my PhD, and my advisor strongly recommended against it. Now that I've finished my degree and am involved in hiring new faculty, I understand just how right she was!

I don't think this is an issue of "therapist" advice, though. I would take the advice because it is correct-- not because it comes from your therapist. I operate the same way when I am given advice by own therapist. I don't take it because she is my therapist. I evaluate it, just as I would if it came from my friend, my dad, my colleague, etc. If the advice makes sense and i agree with it, then I take it. If not, then I don't.

When my daughter thought she wanted to be a therapist one of the things she looked for in a college was she wanted a place that she could go from undergrad to grad level. For her it wasn't about comfort level but rather looking for a school with a great solid program. So many schools are starting programs in counseling and are new and still developing their programs. The school she chose has a great program that has been around for many many years and is well respected. Plus they are a research school so they have many wonderful opportunities. She isn't majoring in social work though......

[nottrustin]

When T gives advice I often explore why she is giving that advice and if it is really the best thing for me. She often tells me "I won't tell you what to do but somethings to consider are..." So I don't take her advice blindly..sometimes she is right other times not so much. We both respect that we may not agree.

[Silent Void]

I've been in therapy for 20+ years. We basically just talk now. I don't give his opinions much weight.

I wouldn't see a therapist at all except that if I don't, I don't get to see my psychiatrist to get my meds.

It's a racket.

[HealingTimes]

It depends on what subject we are talking about. If she has knowledge in that area and can explain her reasoning, I will listen.
But if she cant explain fully why she formed that opinion, or if she isn't very knowledgeable in that area, then I don't give her opinion that much weight.

[Partless]

It really depends on how much he or she weighs.

[musial]

I really wish my T would give me advice! I would take it!! But I don't think psychoanalytic T's do that much...

[Leah123]

My therapist has specializations. When it comes to those, I give her opinion a great deal of weight. She's a LMFT: when I have parenting questions, I'm 65% likely to follow her suggestions. 20% of the time I'll have to give them thought or rework them, 10% of the time they're laughable and I tell her so. Not everything works for everyone, but again, between the time I've had to come to trust her, and the time she's spent working with hundreds of other couples and families, I value her input, even when I don't love it.

However, she's useless on topics in which she doesn't specialize. I surely wouldn't give her opinion much weight in college choice or many other topics where she isn't highly experienced.