How late in the evening is considered too late to text/email your T?

I texted my therapist on Friday night (10P M) stating that I felt weird about our session that night at 7 PM), and that I didn’t really recognize myself. I told him that I didn’t want to bother him, but that I was really really lonely, and also, admittedly, a little stoned (He knows I smoke).

Anyway, he responded back around 12:30 AM that night telling me that he sensed some changes too, but that in his perception they were good ones and going in a positive direction, and that it “looked good on me.” Then he wanted to know what I saw/or felt instead. I responded back around 1 AM, and he never replied.

Anyway, do you guys think this is weird on his part? (the content of his reply, as well as the time?) Sometimes he responds to my messages, and sometimes he ignores them (and doesn’t bring them up in session). I also thought it really strange that we were corresponding so late in the evening. Truthfully, I didn’t even think I would get a response, especially since he knew I was under the influence.

What is the latest time in the evening any of you have ever communicated with your therapist outside of session? Usually I have a rule about only texting until about 8 PM…after that I consider it invading on their private time, and can be considered rude. Obviously, I wasn’t thinking clearly when I sent that message out at 10 PM. Thoughts?

Latest, around 2 a.m., on the phone or texting.

I never text the therapist for anything. I find texting to be intrusive not matter what. I don't let students or clients text me.
Email is less disruptive and I figure someone can get off their computer or just not check a work account after hours.

I email at any time since T is able to read and respond whenever he likes; with a previous. T she would talk on the phone or email replies at any hour (pain kept her up so time wasn't a problem for her)

His reply seems to be addressing something different to what you were writing about though

I only email/phone my T.

For phone, I wouldn't call during/after supper hours. I would only call Monday through to Friday and not on the weekends at all.

For email, T can choose when to pick it up/check it and when it's a good time for him to respond, so I email whenever. A lot of the time, it's in the wee hours of the morning.

Texting is like phoning because most people have their phones on and will get notified when someone messages them. I wouldn't want anyone waking up from sleep because I texted late or early in the morning.

Since you made contact first, I don't think it's weird he responded or that he didn't respond after subsequent texts as it was really late. Often, therapists want YOU to bring this stuff up in session and be accountable for what happens in that therapeutic hour. Your therapist didn't do anything inappropriate from what you've said.

I notice a pattern in this thread repeated on several over the past months and it seems like you're again setting him up to be deemed inappropriate... initiating an interchange and then trying to find his wrongdoing in it, with your excuse for crossing your own lines being that you got yourself stoned so you're not responsible.

What are you hoping to hear? That he's acting irresponsible with you? Do you feel like he's making it too hard for you to distance yourself? I imagine the intimacy is hard?

I've worked with my therapist as late as 1am.

The only person who can really answer your question though of course, would be him.

It's certainly not invading private time, because no one is forced to read emails or texts, nor to give out their number. You can't invade space you've been given permission to occupy unless he sets a new boundary which he hasn't.

My exT didn't give out her personal numbers. I texted my current T Saturday at 7:30 pm because I was REALLY struggling to not self-harm. I felt really guilty about it, but in session today she said she was glad I texted her instead of hurting myself, and that I wasn't bothering her. She also said that people have called her at 3:00 am before. I guess it just depends on the T's boundaries.

T never texts I have only texted her once to ask that if she has a few minutes could she call me. However, it had nothing to do my mental health but some work my kid was doing for her.

She has told me I could call her up until 10 pm I have only called her that late a couple of times a couple of years ago when we were working on childhood trauma and I was in a bad place.

95% of the time I contact her through email. I knew that she pretty much always has her email up to get messages. However, I don't interrupt other appointments or her personal life.

My last therapist replied whenever she remembered to look at her email, which could be any time of day/day of the week. I think the latest she replied was after 10 pm, and she apologized for the late hour but was leaving town and wanted to respond. In other words, there was nothing to read into it as far as the hour of day.

I know mine turns her phone off when she goes to sleep, so basically I can text anytime but I know I won't get a reply until she's able to, whether that's first thing in the morning or first chance she gets.

Well I email at anytime; I think about 3 am was the latest. But she replies when she checks it. One time I did email her around 11 pm and she happened to be on and replied about 20 minutes later.

Oh I feel awful, my last therapist allowed emails and texts and I have emailed and texted her throughout the day. She never complained and of course she sometimes got back to me the next day, and I figured she reads it when she reads it (I was not expecting an email back right away anyways). But now I wonder if the emails or texts woke her up (like maybe she had to check them because maybe a client could be suicidal).

Darn it, I feel so bad now. Stupid me. It never occurred to me, I was so in my own world.

My former T asked me not email her as she knew I didn't want a lot in my file. I'm hoping the next will allow texts.

I know that my T turns her phone off around 9 PM, so even if I did text or call, she wouldn't get it until the next morning. I email my T whenever I decide I need to. She can check email whenever she want's, so I don't worry too much about when I send it.

The latest I've ever sent a text was around 8:30 PM.

I've never had a T that allows texts so I park those thoughts in an email or phone message. Usually it is enough to let me sleep peacefully enough.

Mine and I text all the time. I don't worry about the time of day because I know she could put her phone on silent if she wanted to. So if she sees my text at night, it's her choice whether to respond and I don't need to feel guilty for when I text her.

With my 1st T I used to email stuff I couldn't say in session and text for appt stuff. My self imposed rule was to only communicate during his business hours which was like noon till 9pm weekdays. Never communicated on weekends or his mid week day off.

Ummm, e-mail? Never too late. I have never texted and have only called his personal number via invitation. Last phone call we had was at like 10pm, and he called me (had set up time via e-mail first)

I don't email.

text- unless its an emergency, I would guess at 8pm.

I never text or e-mail my therapist. I always call my pdoc for an emergency. I DO call my T and leave a message if I did something good we had just talked about..."I just wanted you to know I made exercise twice this week! No need to call me back."

I don't have my Ts personal info so I cannot text her. I can email her office email or call her at work. For me that's best, with the personal info I think it would be way to hard to manage boundaries, at least for me.

latest ever for me was 11pm, went on till 12am. that was a bad patch.

Latest was 10 PM and he called back 11 PM at night. I was really suprised because I thought he may be sleeping and I'm bothering him.
I try not to call/text earlier than 11 AM at holidays and not after 10 PM because I don't want to disturb his sleep and I don't like when, for example, myboss call me at 7 AM at Sundays...
Of course if there is an emergensy situation, it's different and it's better to text not to do something worse.

I send emails at night, latest was 4 AM if I'm not wrong. I always say I'm sorry for emailing so late but I think he reads it at day, so everything is okay and I don't bother him that much.

I think it's better to email not text at night. I very rarely text at night even to my friends and sometimes I'm angry that someone disturbs me at night.

So you texted that you were trying not to SI and are upset they replied to you quickly?

Yes, that was my situation. She was very understanding and not angry. She asked if I would be able to not hurt myself and asked if I needed her to call 911 for me.