When I first started seeing t back in February she wore a lot of make up, big red lipstick and lovely dresses and since then her make up has virtually disappeared. She told me last week she was 58, just one year older than my mother. We this morning I turned up for my session and there was t in a track suit and runners.
I don't even know why this upset me so much but it really did. She said I looked well and usually I would say she did too but I couldn't today because I have never seen a t look so scruffy.
I don't even know what to say about it because she didn't even say anything about it.

[IndestructibleGirl]

That's interesting that you felt so strongly about it. Are you big into immaculate personal grooming yourself? Or was your T a role model for it for you, someone you admired until now because of her appearance?

[Favorite Jeans]

I don't mind casual in general, but if my T started showing up to session looking disheveled or not dressed professionally it would make me wonder if she was okay. I think that concern ("why don't you look the way you usually do? Why don't you look more put-together?") would be very distracting. If she started to look increasingly haggard I'd worry that she was sick or depressed and, sensing her vulnerability, would probably start to avoid burdening her with my issues. MLS, are you worried that she might not be in good enough emotional shape to meet your needs?

[wotchermuggle]

One time, I had a therapist come to a session in jeans and a sweatshirt. After seeing him in dress pants/shirts, it was a shock. I understand how you felt!

[nottrustin]

I wonder if something medical may be going on?? T use to ALWAYS wear pretty fancy high heals and dresses. Then all of a sudden she started wear shoes that almost looked like slippers but still always wore dressed. I found at after a bit that she had developed arthritis in her legs and she just couldn't wear heals anymore.

Then in July she started having office hours out of her home office. I had NEVER seen her in anything other than dresses before with the exception of the one day that I had a major crisis and she had me go to her home (office was there but didn't have clients going there yet) and she was wearing jeans. Now very rarely wears dressed for her home office. I think it might be a case of being more comfortable because she is home

[clairelisbeth]

my pdoc works at a hospital a few days a week in addition to her private practice. I've noticed that she dresses slightly differently on the days that she's going to the hospital after our session than on the days she is in her own office all day. It's funny, because I can always tell when she is working at the hospital by how she is dressed

There have been a few times where she's come in in jeans because I was her only session, but she's mentioned it herself.

My T dresses pretty casually-jeans and cords with boots, sometimes skirts with boots or flats. I love her style, I think its so cute. I think it would definitely be jarring to see her in sneakers, but it would also be odd to see her in heels!

[ombrétwilight]

I read somewhere that Ts should dress consistently, conservatively and preferably in neutral colours (black/white) so as to function as a blank slate. My T dresses like a teacher (maybe because she works for my school?) and I love her style! During usual sessions i.e. her regular working hours she wears slim fit pants, loose tunic tops, ankle boots, flats, long knit cardigans, maxi skirts etc. I have never seen her with make-up but then and again she's too naturally beautiful to need any. If it's an emergency session i.e. she comes back to the office just to see me during the holidays, she wears polo tees, jeans and running shoes.

[JustShakey]

T always wears polo shirts and khakis. He wore a long sleeved shirt once. I figure it must've been laundry day

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Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl

That's interesting that you felt so strongly about it. Are you big into immaculate personal grooming yourself? Or was your T a role model for it for you, someone you admired until now because of her appearance?

I am big into personal grooming myself and I thought so was t but not anymore. I admired her unusual style, she always wear really unique dresses and to see her in green swear pants was a shock. She works from home so maybe she just was having an off day.

Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans

I don't mind casual in general, but if my T started showing up to session looking disheveled or not dressed professionally it would make me wonder if she was okay. I think that concern ("why don't you look the way you usually do? Why don't you look more put-together?") would be very distracting. If she started to look increasingly haggard I'd worry that she was sick or depressed and, sensing her vulnerability, would probably start to avoid burdening her with my issues. MLS, are you worried that she might not be in good enough emotional shape to meet your needs?

I was a little worried there was something else going on. Maybe her depression was coming back or something. She is always very transparent and honest and now I think maybe I should have asked was she ok but I don't think it would have been the right thing to do because she might get embarrassed.
Sometimes she eats an apple during sessions and puts her feet up in the chair and gets all comfy. I suppose she just likes to be comfortable.
Now I wonder is she ok? She kept saying yesterday that she felt in contact with me and did I feel it.

Originally Posted by nottrustin

I wonder if something medical may be going on?? T use to ALWAYS wear pretty fancy high heals and dresses. Then all of a sudden she started wear shoes that almost looked like slippers but still always wore dressed. I found at after a bit that she had developed arthritis in her legs and she just couldn't wear heals anymore.

Then in July she started having office hours out of her home office. I had NEVER seen her in anything other than dresses before with the exception of the one day that I had a major crisis and she had me go to her home (office was there but didn't have clients going there yet) and she was wearing jeans. Now very rarely wears dressed for her home office. I think it might be a case of being more comfortable because she is home

Thanks for that reply nottrusting, it makes sense if there was something medical going on like with your t.
I don't think there is because I believe she would tell me.

[iheartjacques]

If I saw my t out of his suit, I'd be very disconcerted.

[CantExplain]

We project things onto our Ts, and assign them specific roles. Clothes help or hinder that.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Clothes help or hinder that.

I think clothes do help in general. The last thing I want is a therapist who is not wearing them.

Oh yes, what stopdog said. I do not assign people roles based on what they wear, however (unless they are dressed up as clowns or something). I'm not sufficiently interested in clothes myself to try to interpret what other people mean by the clothing they choose.
T wears jeans, a shirt or sweater, and sandals. Normal clothes.

[CantExplain]

A naked therapist would be the blankest slate of all.

[JustShakey]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

A naked therapist would be the blankest slate of all.

Where is that link about the naked therapist again?...

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[stopdog]

I don't notice what the therapist wears. I rarely notice what I am wearing.

[iheartjacques]

Maybe if we saw each other naked physically, we would get a reality check and stop fantasising about what's in the suit, and get down to business ha ha