[lostwonder]

I was freaking ridiculous in my last session. I don't want to go back. I was arguing with T over stupid stuff. I was all kinds of crazy stressed out and just being augmentative for the sake of being argumentative. I don't have a clue what made me decide to try and pick a fight with him (it didn't work by the way.) I just don't want to face him again after that display.

[stopdog]

I argue with the first one I see all the time if she talks. I don't see that it has ever bothered her. I think most are used to fighting with clients.

When you say that it "didn't work", I have to ask, what do you mean, "it didn't work"? What was your expectation for sparking this argument? I ask that because often in the heat of the moment, we aren't really aware of what we wanted. Perhaps now, after the session, you know what kind of reaction you expected or wanted from him. I know that with my previous therapist (someone I grew to really like and appreciate) I wanted to get into a fight with her. I wanted a reason to walk away, to quit. I wanted to be able to say to myself, "She's an idiot and doesn't get me. I'm better off without her." I'm not saying this was your agenda, but it is helpful to really look at what you wanted or expected out of the altercation. And just so you know, a LOT of clients provoke an argument with their therapist. It is a situation rich with meaning. . . as long as you're willing to examine your own personal motivation and need for the altercation. Otherwise it just becomes another argument that goes nowhere, even if you believe you win the argument in your head.

[ThingWithFeathers]

----Delete, wrong thread---

[lostwonder]

What didn't work was sparking an argument. He let me be right. Let me make a fool out of myself.

Originally Posted by lostwonder

What didn't work was sparking an argument. He let me be right. Let me make a fool out of myself.

I'm sorry, lostwonder, I'm not understanding. Could definitely be me because sometimes I'm a bit thick when it comes to understanding I guess what I'm asking is that you explain a bit more about what happened in the session (if you're comfortable sharing that of course). How exactly did he "let" you be right? Did he apologize for how he handled things? Did he say he was wrong or uninformed in his assumptions? Did he say that you were right on the money when you complained or pointed out how he was wrong with his responses? Was he just silent when you argued and never responded with his perception of what was going on? How exactly do YOU feel that he made a "fool" out of you? These things are important when considering what happened in a session. I know that sometimes I "think" my therapist was rejecting or dismissive of my thoughts or feelings about a session. I've found, however, that when I've really taken the time to examine what happened in a session (usually with a person I trust to be objective in their evaluation), I've been more than a little "off" in my perception of what actually happened. I'm not saying that is what happened for you, but it is something to consider.

[lostwonder]

Ahhh no I was kind of trying to argue with him over stupid stuff It really was stupid, and had nothing to do with anything. His response was simply a "you may be right." It did stop me on the current subject twice, because it is the exact same phrase I use when my thought process is "your a freaking idiot and wrong, but I'm done with this.

I've sessions where I feel a bit mortified about returning. The amazing thing is how my therapist is exactly the same when I return, completely accepting. I know some people don't like to liken therapy to parenting, but to me it reminds me of how I am with my kids - whatever they say I am the same loving mom - my daughter has said 'I hate you' in the past, but it has never changed me. And how I wish my own Mom might have been.

[Freewilled]

I once desperately told my T that it's excruciatingly humiliating and almost physically painful to watch myself get defensive and not know how to stop it. It was a very poignant moment between us. Could you tell him when you return? I'm sure he knows.

Originally Posted by lostwonder

I was freaking ridiculous in my last session. I don't want to go back. I was arguing with T over stupid stuff. I was all kinds of crazy stressed out and just being augmentative for the sake of being argumentative. I don't have a clue what made me decide to try and pick a fight with him (it didn't work by the way.) I just don't want to face him again after that display.

He gave you room to externalise what was going on inside for you.

[lostwonder]

I was just thinking. I think that if the man said something about the blue sky I would have argued that the sky wasn't really blue.

sometimes i think that's half the point of therapy in the first place is that it's a safe place to observe ourselves or something. i too have had those moments where i'm completely aware of how idiotic i sound but i cannot stop myself. i think it's been important for me to see that, and not have t judge me for it, but just patiently wait me out. i don't know if that made any kind of sense at all.

[musial]

There was one time in particular for me where something had come out of my mouth in session that I was sooo mortified to think I had actually shared that with my T. I obsessed over not wanting to go back, felt really stupid and nervous. You know what? It was totally fine and not a big deal at all. So try not to beat yourself up about it. Therapy is the best place to mess up because you can only grow from it!