I have only been through two therapists in my life, and both of them are now done. I have considered returning to my first therapist, who I liked, but whom I'm not sure was right for me. She was kind of young, which sometimes worked, and sometimes made me think she was inexperienced.
My second therapist lost my trust almost immediately, bc I came to her after seeing the psychiatrist in the same office, and when I decided not to take the medication he recommended, she told me I was wrong and I should take it. This therapist was a panicky therapist (I had not yet learned to search for suicide-response-trained therapy).
So I continued to see her, after talking her out of medicating (no, really! I'm fine! I exaggerated when I first saw you!). Of course I couldn't trust her after that. I had lied to her about how I felt, and now had to continue lying to her, while going home and comforting myself enough to move away from suicidal thoughts.
It turned out that I was strong enough to prevent myself (at that time), and I was not so far gone into depression. She did help me deal with some other aspects of my sadness, but I always felt nervous around her, that I might slip and say something about my suicidal ideation & she'd freak out.
So I left, and haven't gone back to therapy since, though I wonder if I should seek out someone I can safely talk to about suicidal ideation? I don't want to be institutionalized, and I don't think I need medication (yet). I just need someone who can help me train my brain to think life-preserving thoughts! And maybe healing thoughts. And, if necessary, help me make a plan that I follow in case I start feeling bad, since for personal reasons I cannot tell my family.
Just know, I am safe now. I am not going to act on any thoughts. I have in the past, however, felt very very low and I want to be prepared in case those feelings return.

[Partless]

Bluedonna, I feel like you are presenting two different but related issues. One is about trust and another specifically about the suicidal thoughts and the therapist's reaction. In terms of the former, I think it's just a matter of time. Like other relationships, it takes time and people "testing" each other and slowly opening up more and more and giving more and more trust. You can't force trust to happen. It has to come from deep inside, when the situation is right.

As for the issue of wanting to tell your therapist about suicidal thoughts and not be pushed into taking medications or being committed to a psychiatric hospital, I think you are certainly not in the minority. Many people been there. I think sometimes a therapist telling you that you need medication or whatever can actually panic you more. It's almost like they're powerless to deal with this. It can make you even more anxious and afraid. So hiding suicidal thoughts can seem like the better option.

But I think a good therapist weighs everything and makes a careful decision for each client. Suicide is irreversible. If somebody shares those kinds of thoughts and they are specific enough and perhaps the person has a plan too, therapists do worry. And they should. There have been quite a few cases that nobody took these warning signs seriously and when they did, it was too late. So its really the therapist's judgment. It may be that your therapist is new to this and too quick to react or it's possible that your thoughts were the kinds of thoughts that therapists are taught to take seriously and deal with in a more radical way. One way to find out is to seek opinion from another therapist.

In my personal opinion, I think it's better to have a therapist that you can share a little than not to have a therapist at all. So share as much as you're comfortable with, and let the trust build. Or if you're not comfortable with a therapist right now, share with a good close friend (if can't talk to family either), someone who is open and doesn't judge or panic. But don't expect perfection. It is natural for people to be concerned when they hear these kinds of things. It may be because they are frightened but also because they care.

[CantExplain]

Therapists have to work with frightened, distrustful and damaged patients as a matter of course. It is their job to win your trust, in my opinion.

[AncientMelody]

I trusted my psychiatrist almost immediately....partly because I have a trusting nature, partly because she's only a few years older than me and seemed less intimidating. She had a high recommendation from my primary care doctor, whose opinion I value.

Also, we had an insurance glitch at the end of the session and I was panicking about that, she and her office helped get that sorted out, which I really appreciated. She's just generally kind too, but not enabling, she still holds me accountable which is important

[PeeJay]

For me, trust appears to be forming with years, not weeks. The time frame is long.