[TexMec]

My therapist terminated with me a couple weeks ago. I wrote a bit about it on here; there were issues of transference and fears of future boundary issues, but we had a really productive and healthy alliance up until he called it quits.

Even though we were able to work through it a bit, I still feel really weird about not going to see him anymore. A very strange absence that’s hard to describe. Kind of like something gnawing at me.

What I can’t tell is if everyone feels this way, or if it’s just because a) The transference issues and b) Therapy ended quickly and against my wishes after said issues were discussed.

I’d like to hear from others with both similar and different experiences. How did it feel if you chose to leave your therapist? For those whose therapists have been the ones to terminate, were you accepting? Angry?

I’m just curious…

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

I had to leave my last therapist due to a job change. It felt awful!! This was over a year ago. I still think about her a lot and miss her tons to this day. Luckily if current T says it's okay, I can email exT and she usually writes back. Plus I got a check-in session with her 6 months ago when I was visiting my old town.

Hang in there! *((Hugs))*

[ThisWayOut]

I think how abruptly therapy ends, and how ready you feel to end it makes a huge difference. I have ended therapy once because it just wasn't working out (I was traveling 1.5 hours each way for a 50-minute session, and that T and I did not really click well). That ending was fine. I didn't miss the T or being in therapy.
Other endings have had various levels of longing and distress. I left my favorite T because I was moving out of the area. I missed her a lot at first, but it's not so hard 2 years later. I also have plans to return to working with her when I move back to that area. My most recent previous T was a very difficult loss and I miss her a lot. I didn;t figure out the transference piece till after she said she was leaving the agency (I think a bunch of the intensity of the transference had to do with the timing of her departure: it coincided with other major losses in my life both at the time and from the past). I stopped seeing her back in July, and I still miss her a lot.

[CantExplain]

If I were terminated suddenly and against my will, I would expect to feel abandoned and betrayed. I would be crushed and lost and angry.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I have had a T that had to terminate with me because she was transferred, a T who terminated with me w/o telling me, and Ts who my parents terminated. All were devastating. The T who transferred, we at least were able to work through some of the feelings. But it still hurt and I still miss her (9yrs later). The T who terminated w/o telling me, I was pissed. I also felt betrayed and abandoned. The Ts who my parents terminated: one of them I was glad to be rid of, but two of them I hated my parents for taking them away from me.

Originally Posted by CantExplain

If I were terminated suddenly and against my will, I would expect to feel abandoned and betrayed. I would be crushed and lost and angry.

This is exactly how I feel and it hurts just as much and feels just as bad over a year later.