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Member Since Nov 2014
Location: los angeles
Posts: 36
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#1
Hi. This is long, but I don't know what to do. I don't know whether this warrants a phone call or if I should just not say anything. I'm so scared too. I just started going to a new therapist. I have not gone to a therapist in years but I went regularly when I was in high school. I just started seeing her because I am going through a severe depression... I'm not just what else is wrong but I don't think she has a grasp fully on it yet.
Anyways, I have only had 3 sessions with her, but I like her a lot. In the past with therapy I have always been very shy... it was very difficult for me to express myself, especially in person, and I liked that my last therapist would allow me to text message her. This therapist doesn't use text or email so everytime I have to leave a voicemail. I get SO anxious every time I have to call her. Even to make my initial appointment I called maybe 15x and hung up because I actually left the voicemail. Last week I was very suicidal. I have suicidual thoughts on and off but it is getting worse. I drank a ton of vodka and ended up calling her. I think she called me back later, which I answered, and talked to me for a bit but it's hard to remember because I was drunk. Following that she kept checking up on me via phone call every other day. I saw her this week on Monday. This was my third session. And everything was okay. I had felt a lot better. I called her after the session saying I had thought about it and will go to a psychiatrist (which I prior refused and have been anti drug), because I am so depressed that I cannot handle it anymore. She called me back yesterday to give me the man's number. Last night, after her phone call I became extremely paranoid. I have had a lot of problems with paranoia in the past but never attributed it to anything except that maybe I'm just a little paranoid person. The last 6 months though it has gotten worse. I was very paranoid last night that there was someone in my house. Then I also am dating this man.. who has left for a work related trip for 3 weeks, he hasn't called in a few days and it seems like he doesn't like me. I think this also triggered it but I don't really know but the point is I was lying in bed and reading and all of a sudden I hear voices. It was like faint whispers that I could not make out what they are saying. It was so terrifying I could not tell if it was real or fake. It stopped after about 3 minutes and I went back to reading my book then 20 minutes later it started again for another 4 or 5 minutes! It was like muffled whispers. It's hard to explain and I don't know if it was real or fake. It was very frightening. I started to cry. Then I wanted to kill myself. I lay in bed until 3am because I was so scared. Should I call her and tell her this? She told me to call if I need anything, but I don't want to be a psycho annoying client. Is this warrant to call? I feel very awkward and uncomfortable calling to begin with I don't know what to say in voicemails and I don't want to bother her as I've only seen her for 3 weeks, but so far she has been quite nice. Should I just not saying? I don't want her to think i'm crazy. I need to call to change my appointment for next week regardless but should I bring this up or no? Last edited by TheWell; Nov 06, 2014 at 07:20 PM.. Reason: Added a trigger icon |
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Anonymous50122, ThisWayOut
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Comfy Sedation
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: the woods
Posts: 19,305
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#2
yes i would bring it up. seems important. there are different reasons for why ppl may hear voices. some neurological and some psychological. but yes, bring it up.
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ThisWayOut
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: in my own little world
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#3
I would call her and mention it. It's pretty significant, especially if it's causing suicidal thinking. She seems ok about the calls, and the contact between sessions, so I wouldn't worry about that either...
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