I saw my T today and talked too much, I started off slowly talking about my dog, then I just let a load of difficult stuff spew out, I thought I was ready, but I now I feel really vulnerable. The worst is that I also asked if she could charge me less. I feel terrible for having asked this. It's because I find it hard to justify to my husband the money for this. I'm afraid this will draw a wedge between me and my T and it was going so well. The money was on my mind so much, it was hard not to say it. I think money is such a hard subject between a T and a client. I really worry that it will never be the same again. She didn't agree to a reduction though I know I pay her more than others. The thing is we can afford it, except that we are saving for our kids education, but despite that we can still afford it. My husband can't understand.

[Freewilled]

I'm sorry brown owl. I know how it can be hard with an h who can't seem to understand what did your T say about it? I think it was very brave of you to ask for what you need.

[Perna]

One always feels vulnerable after giving of one's self to another, it's inevitable and GOOD. Talk about it next week with your T (vulnerability). You cannot get to a point where it would be "easy" no matter how long you are in therapy or try. What we "think" is only thinking and not what is actually "happening" or going to happen or related to experience in any way (other than our experience thinking :-) There is no text or workbook on how to live your life, you just have to "do it".

Your T will not think badly of you for asking if you could pay less. However, I think you could be potentially selling your husband short. I worked to try and talk to my husband about therapy and how necessary it was for me and the cost, etc. and did a miserable job but teasingly asked my husband how much he would pay for my happiness and well being and was shocked at the intensity of his answer, "Every last penny I had!"

Your husband loves you (or, why are you in that partnership?) and wants you to be healthy and happy. Talk to your T about your fear of taking from your husband and fear of his displeasure at your having needs and desires of your own, etc. and talk to your husband about therapy and what you need and desire

[JustShakey]

Originally Posted by Perna

One always feels vulnerable after giving of one's self to another, it's inevitable and GOOD. Talk about it next week with your T (vulnerability). You cannot get to a point where it would be "easy" no matter how long you are in therapy or try. What we "think" is only thinking and not what is actually "happening" or going to happen or related to experience in any way (other than our experience thinking :-) There is no text or workbook on how to live your life, you just have to "do it".

Your T will not think badly of you for asking if you could pay less. However, I think you could be potentially selling your husband short. I worked to try and talk to my husband about therapy and how necessary it was for me and the cost, etc. and did a miserable job but teasingly asked my husband how much he would pay for my happiness and well being and was shocked at the intensity of his answer, "Every last penny I had!"

Your husband loves you (or, why are you in that partnership?) and wants you to be healthy and happy. Talk to your T about your fear of taking from your husband and fear of his displeasure at your having needs and desires of your own, etc. and talk to your husband about therapy and what you need and desire

I found your reply so helpful, thankyou so much. It's helpful to think that the vulnerable feeling is GOOD. Is it always inevitable? Can it be comfortable sometimes? I hope so. Also to think that we just have to 'do life', at least I was having a go in there and 'doing therapy'. I'm afraid that my T WILL think badly of me for asking to pay less. Perhaps that is the crux of my feelings tonight. Though I guess my feelings about the money are pretty natural, perhaps a lot of people think that but don't actually say it. I feel better for having posted my feelings here and reading your replies. I just hope it goes ok with my T next week. She didn't answer my request directly. I won't raise it again, I'd rather forget it now, but I'm trying to be thankful that I expressed myself rather than keeping quiet about my feelings.

My husband does love me.

[hellboy]

Originally Posted by Brown Owl

I saw my T today and talked too much, I started off slowly talking about my dog, then I just let a load of difficult stuff spew out, I thought I was ready, but I now I feel really vulnerable. The worst is that I also asked if she could charge me less. I feel terrible for having asked this. It's because I find it hard to justify to my husband the money for this. I'm afraid this will draw a wedge between me and my T and it was going so well. The money was on my mind so much, it was hard not to say it. I think money is such a hard subject between a T and a client. I really worry that it will never be the same again. She didn't agree to a reduction though I know I pay her more than others. The thing is we can afford it, except that we are saving for our kids education, but despite that we can still afford it. My husband can't understand.

Doesn't sound like your husband is as supportive as he could /should be.

Hellboy