[precaryous]

Holiday breaks are coming and there will be a few weeks when T cannot meet for therapy. I really have a hard time feeling safe and connected to her outside of therapy. I don't self-soothe very well.

What do you do to help you get through those breaks?

I talked to T about it yesterday. I asked for a project or something to do for her. I thought a project might help me feel connected to her during the weeks we won't be meeting.

I've thought about sketching, though I'm not very good at that.
We talked about journaling. T said journaling can be powerful but she didn't want me to do something too triggering while she is out.

What do you do to feel connected during breaks?

[healingme4me]

Much like being away from coworkers, that I've developed connection with, trust knowing there will be a warm welcome back, smiles and warm fuzziness. Live life, in the present, knowing there'll be stories, to share.

[ombrétwilight]

Ex-T and I have never acknowledged transference and I pretend I don't miss and love her to death (which happens even in the middle of a session) so I cope by staring moony-eyed at her pictures or reading SMSes.

[I understand that I sound like a creepy stalker ]

[Bill3]

I've thought about sketching, though I'm not very good at that.

You don't have to be good at sketching to benefit from it. Given that this idea came to mind, perhaps it would be worth discussing with T or considering a little more.

[Tongalee]

I like your project idea. Could the two of you think of something to do now before you go on holiday that could help you during that hard time? Ex. One thing I read about, though I've not done it, was a therapist making a book with the client, which discussed all types of different things that they've worked on together, playful chatter, coloring pages that they did together, etc. Finally, before the client and therapist split for the vacation period, the therapist added notes that were to be opened when reminders that their therapist was still with them was needed. I thought about asking my therapist for something like this, but I fear that would be too much for me to handle as I bounce between wanting my therapist near and pushing her away. Let us know what you come up with!

[ScarletPimpernel]

Ask her to suggest a book to read and you two can discuss when she gets back.

Project idea is great. There are more things than just sketching you can do: painting, collages, knitting, crocheting, colored pencils/markers/crayons, metal embossing, embroidery, quilting, paint on wood, glass painting, clay/sculpture, woodworking, poetry, short stories, etc.

Can go down to a craft shop, decorate a wooden box, collect things that remind you of your T or things you want to share with your T and give it to her when she gets back.

Ask for a transitional object and/or picture if you don't have one already.

Ask for homework.

Ask her what's her favorite music (and listen to it).

Ask her what's her favorite hobby (and go do/try it).

[wotchermuggle]

My therapist encourages emailing in between sessions to keep the connection secure. Would your therapist allow that?

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Much like being away from coworkers, that I've developed connection with, trust knowing there will be a warm welcome back, smiles and warm fuzziness. Live life, in the present, knowing there'll be stories, to share.

That is one thing she tells me to do...is try to tolerate and find simple joys in the present. Thank you.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by ombrétwilight

Ex-T and I have never acknowledged transference and I pretend I don't miss and love her to death (which happens even in the middle of a session) so I cope by staring moony-eyed at her pictures or reading SMSes.

[I understand that I sound like a creepy stalker ]

I have a picture of her....and a vm she left...and I've saved all her emails. =]

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by Bill3

You don't have to be good at sketching to benefit from it. Given that this idea came to mind, perhaps it would be worth discussing with T or considering a little more.

Yes, I have one more session until the break. We will talk more about it next week.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by Tongalee

I like your project idea. Could the two of you think of something to do now before you go on holiday that could help you during that hard time? Ex. One thing I read about, though I've not done it, was a therapist making a book with the client, which discussed all types of different things that they've worked on together, playful chatter, coloring pages that they did together, etc. Finally, before the client and therapist split for the vacation period, the therapist added notes that were to be opened when reminders that their therapist was still with them was needed. I thought about asking my therapist for something like this, but I fear that would be too much for me to handle as I bounce between wanting my therapist near and pushing her away. Let us know what you come up with!

I especially like the note idea!

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

Ask her to suggest a book to read and you two can discuss when she gets back.

Project idea is great. There are more things than just sketching you can do: painting, collages, knitting, crocheting, colored pencils/markers/crayons, metal embossing, embroidery, quilting, paint on wood, glass painting, clay/sculpture, woodworking, poetry, short stories, etc.

Can go down to a craft shop, decorate a wooden box, collect things that remind you of your T or things you want to share with your T and give it to her when she gets back.

Ask for a transitional object and/or picture if you don't have one already.

Ask for homework.

Ask her what's her favorite music (and listen to it).

Ask her what's her favorite hobby (and go do/try it).

All great ideas.

I especially would like a TO from her office that I would return to her when breaks are over.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by wotchermuggle

My therapist encourages emailing in between sessions to keep the connection secure. Would your therapist allow that?

She does allow emailing. I will ask her next week how the holidays will affect our emailing. I don't want to intrude on her holiday...but I would probably send her email if she allows it.